News Article

Features: Bizarre Emails Sent to Nintendo Life

Posted by James Newton

Ashes to oddball requests

You may have used the Contact form to appeal for a name change on the site, to alert us to an issue or just to start a conversation. These are all completely normal uses compared to some of the emails we get sent on a daily basis, mostly from users confusing us with Nintendo.

Below is just a small selection of some of the more memorable emails we've been sent over the past year or so. Names and details have been removed to protect the innocent.


Afram is a legend behind the scenes at Nintendo Life. His regular emails brighten up our days: every few weeks he emails to enquire about the status of one of his favourite titles. For a long time he favoured Blaster Master Overdrive; these days it's Turtles 2 and Batman for NES. Afram, we salute you, and thanks for inviting us to your Swedish language social networking sites. Sorry we didn't accept.

when turles 2 nes comming to eu

batman nes is comming to virtual console

when duck tales comming

blue shawdown ninja when they come

batman nes there is comming to virtual console

batman för nes when they come to virtual console

Ashes Cricket 2009

We receive more emails about this than any other game in history. Let's get this out of the way: you cannot buy Ashes Cricket 2009 for Wii outside of Europe, and if you live in an NTSC region this game will not work on your Wii.

The Bizarre Remainder

Everything from emails about Chinese horsehair to soldiers wanting to play Frisbee golf. All in a day's work here at Nintendo Life.

1 Big problems

please help! big problems withe theretro wireless onsole that i purchaced this morning just cannot get it to connect with the wii i get as far as the menu and i get no further thanks

2 We never saw that drawing

okay my name is (name removed) i have a suggestions on the nintendo wii.okay you guys have everything from tennis,mario cart.okay i for the bowling on the wii i was thinking. that yall should make a bowling pin. one size fit all. for the finger & have have a black spot for the singnal. also inside a bowling ball. it should have a holder for the wii control.& come in a variety of colors.. because people have different favor colors... if anything u can contact me on my e-mail..plenty more details to come with it but cant ex-plain but do have the drawing

3 Cheats never prosper

To whom it may concern:RE: Pokemon Rumble USI was very disappointed to see that I could find only 15 cheat codes for the Pokemon Rumble US version. The Japanese edition has 30. I enjoy this game and would very much like to see more codes available on a website such Gamespot. Particularly Arcues and Regigigas.Yours Truely,(Name removed) (age 8)

4 I don't understand it

I have a wii and a wii fit board but the orientation of the wii fit balance board has now changed. If I lean forward it shows me leaning back and likewise if you lean left it shows you leaning right.How do I correct this fully so it works correctly?I hope you can help me with this as I have looked at just about every forum.Many thank.

And our response:

Hey,We suggest you turn the board 180 degrees.Thank you,Jon

5 Very Important Matters

please make the disc golf game soon so i can get it for my wii before my next deployment to afghanistan

6 Horsey

Dear sirs,

Glad to send you this email.

We are a leading exporter and processer of horse hair and related products in China.And we have done business in this line for many years and got good reputation for this.

We are here want to know whether you have any requirement for the horse hair for your brush

7 Birthday boy (or girl)

Hello to everyone there at Nintendo!! I was just going to say that my birthday is Friday, August 6, and I wondering if you could release some news about The Legend of Zelda for the best birthday present ever!!! The Legend of Zelda is my favorite series from any game, and I think it would be really awesome if you said something about it, because every time I come on Nintendo Life and I see a post about The Legend of Zelda, I start to get really excited. If you can't post anything yet, I completely understand. Thanks for taking the time to read this e-mail!!

8 More Zelda brilliance

Dear Nintendo, I am a huge fan of all of your products. My favorite game series is The Legend of Zelda. I know that you are being persuaded to making a movie for the series, and I do understand why you are to decline of this request. However, even though I would enjoy witnessing a Legend of Zelda movie, I truly request to make a book for each game. Honestly, it is hard for me to understand the Zelda timeline, and why each game exists. Many of the people that I know have tried to describe what each game is about, and I only know a small amount. For example, I do know that The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask is about how a boy created a mask filled with hatred, and when put upon a face, it can get inside your head and discover the host's worst nightmares and deepest secrets, making them live with it as long as they have it. Also, in The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, I know that the princess of Twili is cursed to look as a beast, and hide as a shadow. Twilight Princess is my favorite one and I would truly love to understand everything. What I stated above is a small portion of what I know and understand, but I really don't know much more. I feel that with a book in my hand, I could comprehend with all the events that I did not distinguish previously. Thank you for your time to read of my opinions on the situation.

9 Monkeys are not people

Dear people behind Nintendo,

I am shocked to discover that a game about a pet monkey game has been made. I think that it is extremely inappropriate to teach kids that it is fun to have a pet monkey, to dress it up and to feed it human food. Primates are not suitable as pets, they cannot live on human food and they do not need dressing up! In the real 'pet monkey' world babies are taken away from their mums at a very early age and they suffer from this sepsration. Most primates are very sociable creatures who need to live with conspecifics, not with people. It happens very often that, in order to be able to control adult primates as pets, they have their teeth removed, is that in included in your game as well? I don't understand why you would ever teach kids from an early age that it is "fun" to have monkey? Did you have any thoughts at all about this game before you made it? How about making a game which is about saving primates from extinction?

Kind regards(Name removed)

10 Pic Pic Pic Pic Pic an Answer

I can't find new DS PIC PIC so I need buy 2 pic pic, pls let me know where shop but I went to Games shop but they said have no PIC PIC. I have been try find anyshop but shop have no it. Thanks

11 Go on then!

i want to play super smash bros 64

12 Call 1986, see if they can help

Need phone number to get walk-thru or game tips from NES / its important to me?

13 No

Could you please send a Nintendo catalog to:Address removedThank you.P.S.: If you do not have a catalog, please tell me where I can get one, if they want to sell a lot of games.

14 No idea

I want to comment on the topics in the magazine. Like the one that says 7 out of 10 play nintendo ds more at home than away , that one was in the august issue. I want to comment on the ones for sept issue. I can't find where I do that, can you tell me where? thanks also I would like to know when Farmatopia ds and the dollhouse ds are coming out? My niece has been waiting for dollhouse since March when it was supposed to be out. thanks

15 Don't blame us, Sunshine!

why did you discontinue the gameboy line????????????????!!!!!!!!!! You guys had it all in the 80s 90s and all the way up to 2006 I believe. The gameboy wos the most success in handhelds the gameboy, gameboy poket,color, and if you throw in the advance thats 20 million!!! WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i got a gameboy in 2005 and it still works. i got a psp in 07 and it died already.What did you decide that the ds would just be better than the gameboy. Well it is but still you cant just kill it off like that. where would you bee without the nes or gameboy that sparked it all. This year I bought an original gameboy. "the brick" 1989 it still runs fine. You didnt need to kill it you needed to update it. You guys have had your ups and downs like the hugs success that is the nes to the crash and burn of the virtual boy. But the biggest mistake you made !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAS KILLING THE FREAKING GAME BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!REALLY I BOUGHT AN ORIGINAL OFF OF MY FRIEND FOR 1 DOLLER. 1 NOT 100 FOR WHAT IT SOLD FOR. YESTERDAY AT A YARDSALE I BOUGHT AN ADVANCE FOR $2.50 WITH 4 GAMES!!!!!!!!!!!! you killed the biggest success in handhelds in the HISTORY OF VIDEOGAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You cant just do that that was my faveorite handheld. I have a snes,gamecube,n64,a crap load of nes games,gameboy,ds,wii. i also have a broken psp,ps2 a slim ps2,barely working ps1 and a defective xbox 360. What does that have to say aboyt sony and microsoft Then again what does that have to say about YOU killing off the best hand held line in history and you make the best and most durrible sysyems EVER. You just cant do that. It just isnt right. But what im trying to get at is just one word "?why?" Just because Kinami died doesnt mean that the gameboy had to go down with him. You didnt need to kill it off you could try to bring it back. It isnt to late. It shoud have! a slot to play all the old games and a new slot for better games or something. It was my faveorite system and it still is. All im trying to say is try to bring it back.

16 Nice try

i want you to send me games plz if want to send the games to send it my school address this is my school address......(address removed).........this is the box......979

17 Halo fans unite!


18 Rayman raving refund

Can we get a refund for Rabbids go home earmarked as age 7+? Totally inappropriate for my granddaughter!!! Game station advised us to contact you. Please advise asap. Kind regards

19 Pokémon Fiend

what are wii points or what ever and how do i get pokemon ranch cause i just want a mew in soul silver!!!!!! so yeah help me out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!please please i beg of you i have every single vershion!!!!! and out of them all no mew please please please help meeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I NEEEEED MEW!!! TO LIVE HELP HELP HELP ME!!!!

20 This one's from an evil scientist's laboratory

I would like to talk to someone regarding hooking up several machines so that they can operate as an arcade in a given location. A response is appreciated.

21 Mahjong Madness

Hi; I had Shanghai 11 Dragons Eye on my old computer ,(the one with the flags and fantasy, etc). I need to buy a disk of this that is compatable with Windows 7 for my new computer. I can't stand being without my Mah Jongg. I am a senior citizen and have spent many a pleasant hour with Mah Jongg. Please tell me how to order it and the info I need. thanks,(Name and address removed)

22 Shanghai sadness

got new computer windows 7 cant download my favorite shanghai dragons eye do you have a newer version for windows 7 thanks

23 Mahjong Madness: The Sequel

There was a funtown mahjong for download ds about two years ago. I cannot find it for download. It is real mahjong game not simple matching game. Please help to locate it so I can download. I may the name wrong....

24 Baby crazy

ih i am a pregnat women and i like doing a good woker out can u plz do a new game 4 pregant women cos i is good also good 2 do i little woker out 2 thank u

25 Rookie error

i am new at this site and i heard a lot of good things about it but i don't know how to play the games on this site

26 It's called a what?

hey dont know if you guys know, but have you heard of the 3DS? You guys probably have, but just in case

27 We tried, but it didn't turn out

can you email a picture of the wii virtial console please?

28 Thanks. See you online sometime.

my ssbb friend code is (number removed)

29 Carol Vorderman had it, last time we heard

Been playing for 27 hours and still can't fimd countdown lure can you help...........

30 Nope, we're still testing it.

i have sent you a wii remote to check out for me and was expecting it back by now. can you let me know the current situation.Amazon ref: (removed)

31 A message from a long-lost favourite user

Hey, I know what you're thinking now: Second-hand smoke affects people around you. Don't worry I'll go outside to smoke.

Anyways, I'm requesting you, NintendoLife people to answer a long standing myth: Does (username removed) full-fill all your expectations of a productive, exemplary example of a NintendoLife citizen? Well, can he continue his rampage of bewilderingly astonishing posts and topics?

And maybe more importantly, will you allow such a thing to transpire in the midst of 3DS news? (XD)

Continue reading: Volume 2 | Volume 3

From the web

User Comments (136)



theblackdragon said:

... what

edit: lol, too bad we can't post any of my fan-mail up here, it's all probably a bit too profanity-ridden. >:3

also, is it sad that i immediately thought of at least three different users here when i read that last one? though now that i know who it was... lol, wow



Xkhaoz said:

Wow, a lot of weird one. A bunch thought you were associated with Nintendo. And some were just off topic. Man, this is one of my favorite articles ever on the site. Keep up the good work!



LordJumpMad said:

Hay you guys got my Letter about: How do I play N64 games on my Wii.

I can't find the N64 Slot to play it.......



The_Fox said:

You poor bastards. I work in customer service where a chunk of my day is spent answering emails so I have an idea of what you have to deal with.



Punny said:

I tried to get a DS Pic Pic, but they were all sold out. Also, WHY DID YOU QUIT GAME BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously though, people should really look at the "This site is not affilliated with Nintendo" disclaimer at the bottom of the webpage. Those people are noobs, and this is coming from someone who has been on here for more than a month!



Radixxs said:

Wow, so you guys are responsible for discontinuing the Game Boy... Many Thank for this article. Oh yeah, and please make a game where Link rides donkeys across a pinball machine! Forever!



MetalMario said:

A couple things:

1. I love how all these people think this site is affilliated with Nintendo.
2. What does Halo have to do with this site?
3. That one guy REALLY wants a Mew.
4. That other guy REALLY wants more Game Boys.
5. How does one send a Wii Remote to a website?

My favorite is number 4.



Will_Ireland said:

........ So what was the pet monkeys game? Great article I have a feeling this wont be the last we hear of WHEREZ MAH GAMEBOYZ!!!!! on this site



Nero said:

Yeah I like people who can't recognize that you aren't really Nintendo. Very fun stuff to read, and btw did you order some horse hair?



nintendogamerftw said:

Some of these people are just clueless. If they spent more than 10 seconds on this site, than almost none of these would exist.
You clearly state on the homepage you aren't Nintendo lol.
Nevertheless, this is a great article. And I would also want to know how to play games on this site lol .



FonistofCruxis said:


I don't think you should be advising people to get wii freeloaders because they don't work anymore.



_mikero_ said:

Funny stuff. Especially the game boy and balance board ones.

PS. When is Ashes Cricket coming out in Canada?



pixelman said:

ahahahaha wow. Awesome, thanks for posting this. I'm curious as to who the last email's from... hmmm...

suspicions suspicions



Corbs said:

If you like that, you should see what we get in the mail. LOL



ArmoredGoomba said:

ATTN Nintendo Life staff: Please hurry up on the development of that new zelda! I assume that since you run a nintendo fan site you also make all the games and control production. RIGHT?!



AndyK81 said:

lol very funny article

"i am new at this site and i heard a lot of good things about it but i don't know how to play the games on this site"



Kaeobais said:

Dear lord, it's like grammar and spelling just took a day off. How do you read this stuff, never mind reply to it.

Also, what's with the over use of exclamation marks in several of the posts? Will that really get the point across?



greenellow said:

well at least these people aren't as dumb as the kid who sold his gameboy for a dollar and besides just because Game Boy died dosen't mean you should group it with Kinami and their awful tragedies such as Toader and Kingdom-vania



RowdyRodimus said:

"ih i am a pregnat women and i like doing a good woker out can u plz do a new game 4 pregant women cos i is good also good 2 do i little woker out 2 thank u"

This baby will never have a chance....




Im amazed at the amount of idiots populating this world. Its bad enough that they think your Nintendo, but now they think that a random email sent to some 17 year old intern will make a difference in company policy.

Dear Nintendolife: Will you please name yourself NintendoGabe for a day?



SandMan said:

This is why there should be a specialized IQ test to determine if individuals are fit to use the internet.

... and quite honestly, I'm amazed they figured out how to post in the first place.



Slapshot said:

Really funny.... seriously though the guy with the Balance Board problem is prob the same guy who through the first WiiMote through a TV!



Corbs said:

The balance board issue is still my favorite. And what scares me is that there are really lots of people out there just like these.



Chunky_Droid said:

I remember the Chinese one, I also remember Ant replying to it about 4 or 5 times telling them to go away, lol.

I've had much the same reaction as you James on half of this stuff



Dodger said:

I bet you are just going to get more now from people who want to be in "Bizarre Emails Sent to Nintendo Life 2"

These were funny. xD It sounds annoying getting these types of emails but it might be kind of funny if you didn't have a million other things to do at the time.



AVahne said:

Wow, awesome-est article ever!
This should be a monthly thing.
Kind of surprised that most of the people there think you guys ARE Nintendo. Guess that means you're all quite famous eh?
The random Mahjong ones were extra funny though.



James said:

I'm reluctant to commit to a second instalment as it'll only encourage people to send in rubbish in the hope of getting in. Trust me: we've got enough of that already to last us six of these features!



theblackdragon said:

@everyone: Dodger brings up pretty much what we were thinking in chat when this article was posted. Just note that your IP is logged when you use the Contact Form, as well as when you post on NL (so it's not hard to cross-check), and most of the people reading what you send carry banhammers. Any abuse of the Contact Form happens at your own risk.



NGpenguin said:

cute and very funny .....i havent had a acount very long but this is one of the best articals ive ever seen. I cant wait 4 part 2!!!!!!



SilverBaretta said:

Messages 10, 11, and 24 were my favorites. Can we expect a Part 2 at some point?

EDIT: I just read James' most recent comment on this page. I say if you have enough for 6 more entries, joking or not, different staff members should post their favorite emails!



turtlelink said:

This is great . Can you please send MY school some games nintendo life!
I beg of you James.



Zach said:

Seriously though, my brush has been so much better since I replaced the bristles with real horse hair. I thought the artificial stuff would work, but you've got to go for genuine, whether or not you have to import it from China. Take it from me: you may not know that you need authentic horse hair for your brush, but you do.



theblackdragon said:

lol, no, goombastomping -- you didn't send the last e-mail, and that person was referring to themselves. :3



Sakeraf said:

whats a PIC PIC? ROFL!!!
at first i thought # 9 was talking about Donkey Kong...
this is HILARIUS! thank you James!



Mayhem said:

My thoughts? Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssss... I figured it would be weird, but some of this takes the biscuit...



Killamancer said:

LOL It was probably a mistake posting this. You know your gonna get people intentionally sending in stupid emails to you now.



Corbs said:

There is no way I'm ready all of that.

I think you need to ready more from the looks of it.



Taya said:

Dear Nintendo,
Please make a Pokemon Football game with Pokemon that evolve when you trade between team. When it's done please mail it to my home and write my name in the credits.
Also you should release games on the XBox360 and PS3 too because then you will sell even more games and make more money!!!!!1



RowdyRodimus said:

Dear Nintendo Life,
I is riting 2 say i wont a gitar hero Game with the sngs of teh Travelling Will Berries. Dis be best game eva you sing songs or play gitar buy presing butons on teh gitar. WILL diablo 3 be on WII? I think it shouold, it will sold lot of copies but make shore it work dis time I try my starcraft 2 and it won work on the wiI, just make shore it work this time so I can by it and make gOd of War for the gameboy dS.



KingMike said:

The Game Boy died one.
Who is Kinami?
If it is Konami, I'm sorry to hear that. They sounded like they were pretty well off.



IanUniacke said:

Oh boy if you guys don't make another gameboy...I'M GOING TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS AND THEN IF YOU STILL DONT REALISE HOW DANGEROUSLY MAD I AM I'LL ADD SOME EXCLAMATION MARKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(ARE YOU SCARED YET?)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GEE I BOUGHT A GAMEBOY FOR 1 DOLLAR AND NOW YOU HAVEN'T MADE ANY MORE? YOU ARE WASTING MY DOLLAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO YOU GET THE PICTURE I AM MAD AND ALSO MY CAPSLOCK KEY IS STUCK ON SO I'M EVEN MADDER THAN YOU FIRST THOUGHT....GRRRRR RAGE TAKING OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



BF-Medic said:

This totally made my day! Thanks for sharing this with us!
Btw, I totally agree with the gameboy-dude
Why did you kill it!!!???



Zach said:

My first exposure to a bizarre e-mail while here was the "ih am pregnat woman" one, and that phrase has never since left my mind.



Fuzzy said:

Really funny article. Made my afternoon. Great work guys.

Imagine the stuff that Nintendo would get on a daily basis- they could fill a few books with all the funny and stupid stuff they would have gotten.



JayArr said:

Suddenly I am very tempted to write some e-mails up. This is going to make it worse for you!



JeanLuc_Vaycard said:

lmao omg this is the funniest thing I've read in a while. Oh man please on part two post more from Afram.



James said:

Part two will only include emails received before this article was posted, in the interests of making things fair



almostnacho said:

I am more disgusted than amused... I can't believe people are this stupid and troubled. If you make a part two, please, make up the emails! The fact that these are real makes me cringe...



sonic_brawler95 said:

The one about the "malfunctioning" Balance Board cracked me up. (The response was smart@$$ gold XD). And the SSB64, pregnat, Mew ones, and all the ones where they thought you were Nintendo were hilarous!

"i got a gameboy in 2005 and it still works. i got a psp in 07 and it died already."
.....Then charge it.

Oh, and I love that Sonic figure on your desk, James.



SavageBlackWolf said:

I had to register (Again) ! after reading this article. I had a blast reading some of these. LoL Especialy about the Wii fit and Gameboy tirade. Really hope you guys add this as a feature, be it monthly or whenever you choose. That was a great read.



Zenman said:

haha i wish more gaming news (or even just news news) sites/magazines posted the crazy junk they get moar often...



Roltron said:

Very,weird,funny, and sad. I think your guy's slogan should be "We're not Nintendo!"



Faildude said:

Have you ever thought of linking them to Nintendo's customer service? After all they were intended to go there.



theblackdragon said:

who said they didn't, Faildude? they've probably got a c/p response they send back to them all, lol



StarDust4Ever said:

wud love 2 here sum of da cmments peeps at the reel ninty site, LOL

Seriously, why do people type like that?



mjc0961 said:

My favorite was the one about the busted balance board, I was thinking "Maybe he should flip the thing around, sounds like he's using it backwards" and when you said you replied "try rotating it 180 degrees" I laughed my off.



NGpenguin said:

yea it does dosent it?Note to them:(the letter senders) just go to nintendo survey (it tells you that right next to the voting page)



ExploderReviews said:

"please help! big problems withe theretro wireless onsole that i purchaced this morning just cannot get it to connect with the wii i get as far as the menu and i get no further thanks" i know someone probobly already said this, but how do you connect a console to your wii? What was he doing, waving an xbox around in the air and hoping it would work as a wii mote?!?!?



ExploderReviews said:

#15 on the list, in his own words, "What did you decide that the ds would just be better than the gameboy. Well it is." Also, at the end, he stated this "All im trying to say is try to bring it back," well i for one would have never figured that out.



NintendoCoDGamer said:

16 and 24 scare me.

Lol at the noob who wants free games.

Dear Nintendo Life,

u shud totally maek a star wars game with pokemon and link and mario and metroid and they can shoot eachother and kill eachother with litesabre

and when you're done give the game to me for free and give me all your new games for free too bcause my wii balance board is malfunctinin and i want a refunt.



Knux said:

ROFL, it looks like grammer decided to take a day off! Best article ever!



xAlias said:

#14 clearly doesn't know the difference between Nintendo Power and NintendoLife



JumpmanZ said:

That senior citizen really thought you were Nintendo and that Nintendo makes PC games. OR, he misread the copyright info on his Mahjong game and thought it said NintendoLife.



James said:

Number 4 is still the best thing we've ever published here. I don't think we'll ever top it.



Monsti said:

I feel a bit sorry for the guy who put so much work and hate into the mail about Nintendo sucking now and then it didn't even reach the right people. ^^



TheDreamingHawk said:

Can we get a refund for Rabbids go home earmarked as age 7+? Totally inappropriate for my granddaughter!!! Game station advised us to contact you. Please advise asap. Kind regards

Get out of this world, now. If that guy was dumb enough to consider Rayman rabbids an inappropiate game, he needs help.

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