Feature: Nintendo Characters Looking for Love
Posted by Philip J Reed
PRAY FOR A TRUE LOVE IN SPACE
I'm a lone wolf. I keep to myself, and I trust no one. My thoughts are my own, and I express myself through my accomplishments and my firepower. For a long time everybody wondered why I never talked, then I opened my mouth and revealed that I'm an insecure whiny wimp with the vocal delivery of somebody who's succumbing gradually to a heavy anesthetic. Now nobody wants me to talk anymore, and that's just fine by me.
Location: Where no one can hear you scream.
Ethnicity: Honorary Chozo.
Hair: Serious case of helmet head.
Eyes: X-Ray, Thermal, Scan.
Occupation: Bounty Hunter.
I would like to meet: Somebody who is comfortable with my unpredictable work schedule. It's hard enough being a bounty hunter and having to accept jobs whenever they become available, but it gets even more complicated when I'm assigned brand new missions that are somehow meant to take place between two old jobs that I've done already, a long time ago. I don't get it. Oh, and my Irish cousin Seamus Aaron.
I like to play the following sports: I spend my life spelunking through treacherous, repetitive death caverns, getting slowly pecked to death by giant cockroach soldiers and bloodsucking jellyfish. Do you really think I get home and want to play sports?
My exercise regime consists of: Screw Attacking like mad through every living thing that I see because by the time I get that upgrade I'm sick to death of exploring and just want to get the heck out.
My favourite music: "Mother" by Pink Floyd, "Other M" by Ink P Loyd F, The Mamas and The Papas and The Baby Metroid.
My favourite movie: The Crying Game, The Man with Two Mother Brains.
My favourite TV show: Adam-12.
My dream is to: Start an adventure with all of the upgrades I risked life and limb to earn in my previous one. I know, I'm so selfish, right?
On a first date I'd like to: Take it easy for once, maybe just drift aimlessly through space for a while and admire strange worlds from a distance for a change. Also, since you finished reading my profile fast enough, I can reveal that I'm actually a woman.