Whirlwound

Whirlwound

Critter • QI-tter • Go 8-Bitter

Comments 753

Re: Standard Micro SD Cards Won't Work On Nintendo Switch 2

Whirlwound

We know the new unit has 256GB on board - but do we know what size the games are? How fast is that going to get gobbled up?

A quarter-tera still ain't a whole hog's hatful, not these days. I was onto a half-tera card on my OG Switch early on in year 2, and for everything else I've been known to rip through a 5TB portable hard drive in a little over a half a year. I don't so much have a stack of the things as a fleet.

Re: Introducing PLAYi - A Whole New Way To Not Play

Whirlwound

Still the best gaming April Fool was Andrew Braybrook's listing in ZZAP!64 during Mental Procreation, his diary on the production of Morpheus. He claimed it could double the clock speed of your C64. It required genuine investment of our time and effort as mid-teenagers.

After an hour and a half of typing it in and checking for mistakes, going to load a tape gave you the words "FOUND April Fool" when it picked up what was on it (with the April Fool bit in white as Hewson always did with their games).

Re: Poll: So, How Would You Rate The Nintendo Direct For March 2025?

Whirlwound

Okay to good for what I could pull from it, and a bit extra kudos because nobody was expecting it before yesterday - but there were also open goals that went begging, and still the big guns that would have made it an absolute Park-Knocker-Outer remained silent. (And only on MLB Opening Day too.)

NATURAL 20S

  • Prime 4. Had to be there, didn't disappoint, and I freaking love that swanky red/black powersuit - even if it looks like she's pulling for the Heat (Magic fan checking in).
  • Patapon - my PSP died long ago, so this is a welcome return
  • Everybody's Golf - best golf series since Leaderboard on the C64
  • Rhythm Heaven Groove - OH HECK IT YES

MEETS THE ARMOUR CLASS - BARELY

  • Gradius Origins - already got most of it in other packages, and Salamander III is interesting - but you're never telling me they couldn't have squeezed Gradius IV in there an'all. Also noticed the glaring slowdown is still present - a shocking oversight this far down the line, especially when I've seen SNES romhacks that get round it - and still no Parodius? Does Konami want us to emulate it or something?
  • Monument Valley 3 - I'll likely get it, but it's not going to be an essential Day One job. Probably blast through it anyway
  • Lou's Lagoon - not exactly hosed down with info on this one, but it might be worth a glance. Luzz a demo up and we'll see
  • Nintendo Today[!] - of course we'll get it, maybe they'll add a widget we can plonk in our stacks and homescreens to give our phones a bit colour without having to go looking for it, but let's be honest: we're all still coming to NL for the unvarnished opinions, aren't we. Plus, coming back from a crappy day at work dealing with various a-holes, bellends and self-entitled expletives, it is nice being told we're still lovely peeeeeeeeople

MISSED CHANCES

  • DQ 1+2 leadoff - knew about it
  • Shadow Labyrinth - ditto
  • Monument Valley 1+2 - ancient, completed them ages ago
  • Prime 4 being in the middle, instead of a leadoff or closer - told me they had nothing bigger to offer

NATURAL 1S

  • STILL no bloody Silksong
  • No Romancelvania
  • No Layton
  • No Parodius
  • No original Katamari
  • Nothing on Sonic Racing Crossworlds

Re: Talking Point: What Are You Playing This Weekend? (22nd March)

Whirlwound

I’m off out for a game of Papers Please. Inasmuch as I have finally completed the fetch quest to assemble all the bits needed to get a new passport for the Head-Spinner. I’m that old and warty, they don’t even bother cancelling the type I last had (black hardback), so it’s got to be a complete from-scratch application. Docs up the wazoo, including birth and adoption certificates - which my workplace lost 8 years ago.

Oh - and Rogue Waters.

Re: Balatro's New Free Update Features Crossovers With Assassin's Creed, Fallout, Civ And More

Whirlwound

I guess maybe LocalThunk is a Critter, then?

Given we’ve got Percy, Vex’ahlia & Scanlan from Vox Machina on Hearts, maybe…
Diamonds: Mighty Nein (Campaign 2) - double headers - Fjord/Jester, Beau/Yasha, Caleb/Essek (HOT BOIIIIIII)
Spades: Bell’s Hells (Campaign 3) - double-headers: Dorian/Orym, Imogen/Laudna, FCG/F.R.I.D.A.
Clubs: Crown Keepers (Exandria Unlimited) - double-headers: Dariax/Deni$e, Opal/Ted, Fearne/Fy’ra Rai

Re: Bonkers Metroidvania 'Rusty Rabbit' Now Has A Switch eShop Demo

Whirlwound

@Porky There's been a few that have gone that route. The recent remake of C64 classic Dropzone had blatantly AI-generated cover art - I honestly thought after all these years, System 3 knew better than to do that to Archer Maclean's legacy.

I’ve had a crack at the demo, it’s alright, just feels very… slow, laconic. Especially In the dialogue. Would benefit hugely from speed options.

Re: Retailer GAME Removes Insane Delivery Fees On Pokémon Cards After "Scalping" Allegations

Whirlwound

GAME is dying, but more slowly than it needs to. Fraser Group and its horrendously toxic figurehead Mike Ashley are killing it. Everything you need to know should be that a group formerly known for such powerhouse names as House of Fraser and Binns now have, as their flagship chain, Sports Freaking Direct. They don’t deserve your money.

There are far better options for getting decent offers on new games - even Currys do 25% off codes for new first-party Switch titles, and not so long ago I wouldn’t have given them the steam off my coffee (I couldn’t for one thing, the Dolce Gusto machine I got from them was DOA).

The last man standing, and I still can’t believe this is going to be the case, will be CEX.

Re: Nintendo Will "Likely" Price The Switch 2 At $399, Says Analyst

Whirlwound

That’s an amount I can deal with. If we’re looking at the usual NintenTax of stripping the $ and putting a £ in its place, that’s manageable. I can do that in a few instalments and still put dosh aside for Head-Spinner.

I can also clear out one of my lesser (still half-tera though) micro-SD cards for a spell too; I’ll not need a μ-SD Express just yet.

Re: Nintendo Is Discontinuing Gold Points, One Of The Switch's Best Incentives

Whirlwound

Yeah, this blows big time. I always tried to use my GP on stuff I could get down to so much and a penny. My bank has a thing where it rounds any card payment up to the nearest pound, and sends the difference to my savings account.

Might sound daft, but bit by bit over the past few years, Save The Change has gotten another £1,000 in there - which is going to be ridiculously handy for the Head-Spinner Trip.

Re: Sony Does What Nintendon't By Removing A Bunch Of 'eSlop' Titles

Whirlwound

Putting it out there again - better filtering and, yes, blocking options for the next eShop. Certain studios, publishers, keywords etc knocked on the bonce at the user’s behest. The very second someone busts out a keyword flak cannon, their ass is toast. That way it’s on the user to tailor their experience the way they see fit, not the provider.

This is exactly why I’ve ditched Facebook recently - there was such an insane pile of toxic BS, none of my friends’ content or any of my interests were making it to my feed; all I wound up doing was blocking stuff L, R & C.

Ultimately, it’s the question many gamer parents must dread coming from little Maisie and/or Johnny: “Daddy, what’s hentai?” That’s a conversation one hopefully never has to have, but if you do, it’s on your terms and at your time of choosing, not forced by some half-arsed farted-out AI/asset-flip slurry.

Sort out your s##t, Big N.

Re: Nintendo Taking "All Possible Measures" To Combat Switch 2 Scalpers

Whirlwound

Must be said, I am no longer a Day One buyer. I'm probably not even a 2025 buyer now. I'll get a look at it come mid-April at the ExCeL, sure, but my focus for the eight months after that is most definitely elsewhere.

Something has come up which easily takes priority over a new console. I've been given an absolute head-spinner of an offer. A once-in-multiple-lifetimes trip. And I can't just let something like this slip by. Without getting specific, it's safe to say that none of you guys could either.

By March, I'll have around £2,600 in savings. I'll need more than that. And the least coolest thing about it is that I'd be spending New Years in the air (NB: I, at the age of 52, have never even been on a plane, never mind flown before).

Re: Opinion: Forget Themes, I Want A Switch 2 Start-Up Jingle

Whirlwound

GC. All of'em.

If we're having something new though...

  • Low bass line as console boots [my Soundcloud chiptune playlist is full of examples]
  • The opening 7 notes of SMB main theme as the logo fades in - different instrument for each month
  • On the seventh note, the Switch 2 'Clap' which also triggers the home screen zooming into view from behind
  • Also, different instruments for special occasions - your birthday, [insert winter don't-be-the-end-of-a-bell-to-people festival of choice here], New Year [once again, of choice] etc - and maybe a firework or two

Re: Talking Point: What Do We Actually Want From 'Mario Kart 9'?

Whirlwound

Well all of the above, obviously, but also…

  • Courses that are subject to change mid-race - either by design (toggle switches, teleports etc) or not (track damage, outside sources forcing racers to take alternate or even organic routes)
  • More control coming off jumps, altering stunts using the right stick, with better boosts for more complex tricks, signature moves for each character and variety bonuses for making tricks you haven’t done before that race
  • The things I’ve missed in most MKs - Bosto customisable lap counts, a speedometer and timer on all tracks, not just time trials.