I’m off out for a game of Papers Please. Inasmuch as I have finally completed the fetch quest to assemble all the bits needed to get a new passport for the Head-Spinner. I’m that old and warty, they don’t even bother cancelling the type I last had (black hardback), so it’s got to be a complete from-scratch application. Docs up the wazoo, including birth and adoption certificates - which my workplace lost 8 years ago.
As neat as the Violet one undoubtedly will be, I want the Scarlet one to act like its in-game counterpart, going GALUMP GALUMP GALUMP instead of on wheels.
Hope springs eternal for the C64 version getting in there one day. I’ve just had a mooch about, and the former Mirrorsoft is now owned by Throwback Entertainment, a Canadian outfit.
@Princess_Lilly Moldova sends to be a common location for such dicey devs. Look back over previous articles on this subject and you’ll find links to Midnight Works, West Connection and their ilk pointing there.
Squeenix is still down with the NFT, and Hasbro/WotC is beyond toxic - last two years of D&D bulldickery have shown that. (And that’s before you get to them siccing the freaking PINKERTONS on a dude because of their screwup.)
@Porky There's been a few that have gone that route. The recent remake of C64 classic Dropzone had blatantly AI-generated cover art - I honestly thought after all these years, System 3 knew better than to do that to Archer Maclean's legacy.
I’ve had a crack at the demo, it’s alright, just feels very… slow, laconic. Especially In the dialogue. Would benefit hugely from speed options.
GAME is dying, but more slowly than it needs to. Fraser Group and its horrendously toxic figurehead Mike Ashley are killing it. Everything you need to know should be that a group formerly known for such powerhouse names as House of Fraser and Binns now have, as their flagship chain, Sports Freaking Direct. They don’t deserve your money.
There are far better options for getting decent offers on new games - even Currys do 25% off codes for new first-party Switch titles, and not so long ago I wouldn’t have given them the steam off my coffee (I couldn’t for one thing, the Dolce Gusto machine I got from them was DOA).
The last man standing, and I still can’t believe this is going to be the case, will be CEX.
That’s an amount I can deal with. If we’re looking at the usual NintenTax of stripping the $ and putting a £ in its place, that’s manageable. I can do that in a few instalments and still put dosh aside for Head-Spinner.
I can also clear out one of my lesser (still half-tera though) micro-SD cards for a spell too; I’ll not need a μ-SD Express just yet.
Yeah, this blows big time. I always tried to use my GP on stuff I could get down to so much and a penny. My bank has a thing where it rounds any card payment up to the nearest pound, and sends the difference to my savings account.
Might sound daft, but bit by bit over the past few years, Save The Change has gotten another £1,000 in there - which is going to be ridiculously handy for the Head-Spinner Trip.
Putting it out there again - better filtering and, yes, blocking options for the next eShop. Certain studios, publishers, keywords etc knocked on the bonce at the user’s behest. The very second someone busts out a keyword flak cannon, their ass is toast. That way it’s on the user to tailor their experience the way they see fit, not the provider.
This is exactly why I’ve ditched Facebook recently - there was such an insane pile of toxic BS, none of my friends’ content or any of my interests were making it to my feed; all I wound up doing was blocking stuff L, R & C.
Ultimately, it’s the question many gamer parents must dread coming from little Maisie and/or Johnny: “Daddy, what’s hentai?” That’s a conversation one hopefully never has to have, but if you do, it’s on your terms and at your time of choosing, not forced by some half-arsed farted-out AI/asset-flip slurry.
Must be said, I am no longer a Day One buyer. I'm probably not even a 2025 buyer now. I'll get a look at it come mid-April at the ExCeL, sure, but my focus for the eight months after that is most definitely elsewhere.
Something has come up which easily takes priority over a new console. I've been given an absolute head-spinner of an offer. A once-in-multiple-lifetimes trip. And I can't just let something like this slip by. Without getting specific, it's safe to say that none of you guys could either.
By March, I'll have around £2,600 in savings. I'll need more than that. And the least coolest thing about it is that I'd be spending New Years in the air (NB: I, at the age of 52, have never even been on a plane, never mind flown before).
Low bass line as console boots [my Soundcloud chiptune playlist is full of examples]
The opening 7 notes of SMB main theme as the logo fades in - different instrument for each month
On the seventh note, the Switch 2 'Clap' which also triggers the home screen zooming into view from behind
Also, different instruments for special occasions - your birthday, [insert winter don't-be-the-end-of-a-bell-to-people festival of choice here], New Year [once again, of choice] etc - and maybe a firework or two
Courses that are subject to change mid-race - either by design (toggle switches, teleports etc) or not (track damage, outside sources forcing racers to take alternate or even organic routes)
More control coming off jumps, altering stunts using the right stick, with better boosts for more complex tricks, signature moves for each character and variety bonuses for making tricks you haven’t done before that race
The things I’ve missed in most MKs - Bosto customisable lap counts, a speedometer and timer on all tracks, not just time trials.
Given the 2-tera SDXC I got last Prime Day (&@#% Bezos) was ~£150, down from £250+, I shudder to think what the equivalent Express card will cost.
I hope the top Type C port can be used to shuttle stuff on to/off from a flash drive - things could get a bit tight otherwise. Just made 4½ years with a Switch and I’m around 54 gigs off maxing out a 1.5-tera card… 💧
Turns out that I am FAR, far worse at the Metal Slugs than I remember being way back when you could find an AES NeoGeo coin-op. Can’t get a single clip in worth half a damn.
Might have to try Tekken 3 on OpenEmu if I’m going to get these recordings in. Bit of Lei, bit of Eddy, couple of flashy moves, that should do it.
Not really. Holding back so long affected things more, because it just motivated leakers to keep on digging. It got to the point that we’d seen everything, but overshot it with the “C button”. Left the reveal a bit bland.
Going through some of my Arcade Archives stuff for purposes of clip recording. Doing a piece on classic coin-ops you won’t necessarily find in arcades anymore.
A certain legendary Goal Of The Month song may or may not be involved (spoiler: OH, IT SO IS).
Edit: just discovered I can’t record a clip of Garou: Mark of the Wolves. Recording is disabled like in the eShop and YouTube. This is particularly annoying as I had a really good round as Kim Dong Hwan, ending with his half-circle-back-C slap-you-silly Ashi Binta kick - one of my favourite moves.
Didn’t see card games getting rated like that back in the salad days of the 8-bits.
Stuff like, you know, Accolade’s Card Sharks. Multiple forms of poker & blackjack around a green felt-topped table with chips and everything. Games like that taught us teenagers the noble art of Hold’em before the days of Ulliott, Hellmuth et al - not to mention way before we even knew there was more than just a baseball World Series.
Comments 788
Re: PSA: Gold Points For Nintendo Switch Purchases Are Now Discontinued
Burned my last lot on pre-ordering I, Robot.
Re: Feature: "It's A Perversion Of The Whole Thing" - Jeff Minter On Scam Games, Switch 2, And 'I, Robot'
I wonder if Jeff would fancy a crack at porting Centipede Chaos…
Re: Talking Point: What Are You Playing This Weekend? (22nd March)
I’m off out for a game of Papers Please. Inasmuch as I have finally completed the fetch quest to assemble all the bits needed to get a new passport for the Head-Spinner. I’m that old and warty, they don’t even bother cancelling the type I last had (black hardback), so it’s got to be a complete from-scratch application. Docs up the wazoo, including birth and adoption certificates - which my workplace lost 8 years ago.
Oh - and Rogue Waters.
Re: Nintendo Switch 2 Logo Will Adorn The Seattle Mariners Jersey This MLB Season
Cappy and a ‘tache, that should do it…
Re: Atari Is Bringing Back 'Missile Command' But With A Brand New Twist
A sim to practice for coming years…?
Re: Poll: What's The Best Xenoblade Game? Rate Your Favourite For Our Upcoming Ranking
No contest. 2.
Three words: Angry. Welsh. Catgirl.
Re: Upcoming Nintendo Switch Games And Accessories For March And April 2025
Two quid cheaper for the epic edition of Xenoblade Chronicles X through the My Nintendo Store than the standard edition is at GAME.
This is why that chain is dying. Fat Boy Ashley is killing it with greed.
Re: Final Minecraft Movie Trailer Still Hasn't Convinced Us On The Big-Screen Adaptation
Is it just me, or have things dropped off a bit of a cliff for Jack since the Tenacious D rift?
Borderlands - not funny.
This - Christ on fire, dude, Jack, are you that desperate for money?
Re: Random: Honda Teases Real-Life Pokémon Scarlet And Violet Motorbike
As neat as the Violet one undoubtedly will be, I want the Scarlet one to act like its in-game counterpart, going GALUMP GALUMP GALUMP instead of on wheels.
Re: Tetris Forever Adds Two More Classic Games In Its "Biggest-Ever" Update
Hope springs eternal for the C64 version getting in there one day. I’ve just had a mooch about, and the former Mirrorsoft is now owned by Throwback Entertainment, a Canadian outfit.
Can’t be beyond the wit of man.
Re: "They Stole The Whole Game" - Horror Indie Dev Fights The eShop Scam Blatantly Ripping Their Work
@Princess_Lilly Moldova sends to be a common location for such dicey devs. Look back over previous articles on this subject and you’ll find links to Midnight Works, West Connection and their ilk pointing there.
Re: Balatro's New Free Update Features Crossovers With Assassin's Creed, Fallout, Civ And More
I guess maybe LocalThunk is a Critter, then?
Given we’ve got Percy, Vex’ahlia & Scanlan from Vox Machina on Hearts, maybe…
Diamonds: Mighty Nein (Campaign 2) - double headers - Fjord/Jester, Beau/Yasha, Caleb/Essek (HOT BOIIIIIII)
Spades: Bell’s Hells (Campaign 3) - double-headers: Dorian/Orym, Imogen/Laudna, FCG/F.R.I.D.A.
Clubs: Crown Keepers (Exandria Unlimited) - double-headers: Dariax/Deni$e, Opal/Ted, Fearne/Fy’ra Rai
Re: Atari And Choice Provisions' New Take On 'Breakout' Gets March Release Date
Breakout? Eh. Take or leave it. …TRAZ and Shatter were where that was at. It’s a port of Centipede Chaos I want.
Re: Review: Yu-Gi-Oh! Early Days Collection (Switch) - A Comprehensive Round-Up With A Few Real Winners
@Zuljaras Good job it's not a Magic expansion box, you'd be getting a sudden visit from the Pinkertons.
Still, now you've got it, have they corrected the search-and-replace flub in Worlds 2004 that changed the text on the DMG cards to Dark Spellian?
Re: Random: Final Fantasy Is The Next Magic: The Gathering Crossover, Here's A First Look
Squeenix is still down with the NFT, and Hasbro/WotC is beyond toxic - last two years of D&D bulldickery have shown that. (And that’s before you get to them siccing the freaking PINKERTONS on a dude because of their screwup.)
They're getting nowt outta me.
Re: Bonkers Metroidvania 'Rusty Rabbit' Now Has A Switch eShop Demo
@Porky There's been a few that have gone that route. The recent remake of C64 classic Dropzone had blatantly AI-generated cover art - I honestly thought after all these years, System 3 knew better than to do that to Archer Maclean's legacy.
I’ve had a crack at the demo, it’s alright, just feels very… slow, laconic. Especially In the dialogue. Would benefit hugely from speed options.
Re: Netflix Exclusive 'Pokémon Concierge' Coming To YouTube For A Limited-Time
@Bolt_Strike Welp, I guess that must include you then, because hey, why would you be commenting here if you didn’t care about it?
Re: Netflix Exclusive 'Pokémon Concierge' Coming To YouTube For A Limited-Time
They… do know that it’s possible to download from YouTube, right?
Re: Retailer GAME Removes Insane Delivery Fees On Pokémon Cards After "Scalping" Allegations
GAME is dying, but more slowly than it needs to. Fraser Group and its horrendously toxic figurehead Mike Ashley are killing it. Everything you need to know should be that a group formerly known for such powerhouse names as House of Fraser and Binns now have, as their flagship chain, Sports Freaking Direct. They don’t deserve your money.
There are far better options for getting decent offers on new games - even Currys do 25% off codes for new first-party Switch titles, and not so long ago I wouldn’t have given them the steam off my coffee (I couldn’t for one thing, the Dolce Gusto machine I got from them was DOA).
The last man standing, and I still can’t believe this is going to be the case, will be CEX.
Re: Nintendo Will "Likely" Price The Switch 2 At $399, Says Analyst
That’s an amount I can deal with. If we’re looking at the usual NintenTax of stripping the $ and putting a £ in its place, that’s manageable. I can do that in a few instalments and still put dosh aside for Head-Spinner.
I can also clear out one of my lesser (still half-tera though) micro-SD cards for a spell too; I’ll not need a μ-SD Express just yet.
Re: Nintendo Has Renewed Some Trademarks
Yeah, how about making the Seal of Quality actually mean something?
(I would say “again” but, well, it didn’t always track first time round either…)
Re: Nintendo Is Discontinuing Gold Points, One Of The Switch's Best Incentives
Yeah, this blows big time. I always tried to use my GP on stuff I could get down to so much and a penny. My bank has a thing where it rounds any card payment up to the nearest pound, and sends the difference to my savings account.
Might sound daft, but bit by bit over the past few years, Save The Change has gotten another £1,000 in there - which is going to be ridiculously handy for the Head-Spinner Trip.
Re: The Legendary Jeff Minter Returns With A New Psychedelic Arcade Reimagining
Oh Yakety Yak, I’m gonna talk back! I’m having this.
Don’t suppose you fancy doing a remake of Iridis Alpha or Batalyx, do you…?
Re: Sony Does What Nintendon't By Removing A Bunch Of 'eSlop' Titles
Putting it out there again - better filtering and, yes, blocking options for the next eShop. Certain studios, publishers, keywords etc knocked on the bonce at the user’s behest. The very second someone busts out a keyword flak cannon, their ass is toast. That way it’s on the user to tailor their experience the way they see fit, not the provider.
This is exactly why I’ve ditched Facebook recently - there was such an insane pile of toxic BS, none of my friends’ content or any of my interests were making it to my feed; all I wound up doing was blocking stuff L, R & C.
Ultimately, it’s the question many gamer parents must dread coming from little Maisie and/or Johnny: “Daddy, what’s hentai?” That’s a conversation one hopefully never has to have, but if you do, it’s on your terms and at your time of choosing, not forced by some half-arsed farted-out AI/asset-flip slurry.
Sort out your s##t, Big N.
Re: Talking Point: Which 'Tales' Game Will Come To Switch Next?
It’s Phantasia for me. As a long standing fan of Kōsuke Fujishima, I want to see how he’d do his character designs now.
Re: InkyPen On Switch Now Includes Over 800 Manga From Kodansha
No Gunsmith Cats (original or BURST), no Ah! My Goddess, no You’re Under Arrest… InkyPen, I are disappoint.
Re: EA: Switch 2 Could Help Games Like FC And Madden "Find Real Energy"
They’ve had eight years to “access and acquire new players”, but flat-ass-out couldn’t be arsed with Madden on the Switch.
Well boy freaking howdy guess what - I can’t be arsed with EA.
Re: Nintendo Taking "All Possible Measures" To Combat Switch 2 Scalpers
Must be said, I am no longer a Day One buyer. I'm probably not even a 2025 buyer now. I'll get a look at it come mid-April at the ExCeL, sure, but my focus for the eight months after that is most definitely elsewhere.
Something has come up which easily takes priority over a new console. I've been given an absolute head-spinner of an offer. A once-in-multiple-lifetimes trip. And I can't just let something like this slip by. Without getting specific, it's safe to say that none of you guys could either.
By March, I'll have around £2,600 in savings. I'll need more than that. And the least coolest thing about it is that I'd be spending New Years in the air (NB: I, at the age of 52, have never even been on a plane, never mind flown before).
Re: Random: Speedrunner Takes Donkey Kong Run To New Heights By Beating The Kill Screen
@KayFiOS Milly B¡tchell can go get his ass in the sea.
Re: Opinion: Forget Themes, I Want A Switch 2 Start-Up Jingle
GC. All of'em.
If we're having something new though...
Re: Japan's Switch eShop Will Soon No Longer Accept Overseas Payment Methods
Doesn’t take mine anyway. I’ve had to get Japanese eshop cards from PlayAsia if there was something I was after that wasn’t in the European shop.
Re: Random: Local Supermarket Wins Trademark Battle Against Nintendo
Mr Lemieux, your thoughts…
Re: Talking Point: What Do We Actually Want From 'Mario Kart 9'?
Well all of the above, obviously, but also…
Re: Poll: So, Were You Accepted For The Nintendo Switch 2 Hands-On Event?
Ooo. D’you know, between work being a-holes and a trip down Cheltenham for a mate’s 40th birthday, I forgot to check.
[checks]
YES!! GET IN THERE! Sunday 2pm slot at the Excel in London CONFIRMED, baby! COME ON!
Re: Mini Review: Taito Milestones 3 (Switch) - Third Time's A Charm
Sweating on Chase HQ, Landmaker, PuchiCarat, Bubble Symphony & Bubble Memories for Volume 4…
Re: Lexar Is Apparently Releasing A Switch 2 'microSD Express' Card
Given the 2-tera SDXC I got last Prime Day (&@#% Bezos) was ~£150, down from £250+, I shudder to think what the equivalent Express card will cost.
I hope the top Type C port can be used to shuttle stuff on to/off from a flash drive - things could get a bit tight otherwise. Just made 4½ years with a Switch and I’m around 54 gigs off maxing out a 1.5-tera card… 💧
Re: Random: Astro Bot "Almost Outdid Nintendo At Its Own Game", Jokes Reggie
If Astro Bot had been on the Switch instead of PS5, I bet it wouldn't have got even a sniff of the awards it's snagged.
I mean if it's on a Nintendo, it's for kids, innit.
Re: Talking Point: What Are You Playing This Weekend? (18th January)
Turns out that I am FAR, far worse at the Metal Slugs than I remember being way back when you could find an AES NeoGeo coin-op. Can’t get a single clip in worth half a damn.
Might have to try Tekken 3 on OpenEmu if I’m going to get these recordings in. Bit of Lei, bit of Eddy, couple of flashy moves, that should do it.
Re: Talking Point: Did All The Switch 2 Leaks 'Damage' Nintendo Or The Console's Reveal?
Not really. Holding back so long affected things more, because it just motivated leakers to keep on digging. It got to the point that we’d seen everything, but overshot it with the “C button”. Left the reveal a bit bland.
Re: Nintendo Believes In "Giving Proper Credit" After Backlash Over Donkey Kong Country Returns HD
Bit of a d*** move, really, given the not inconsiderable size of the Metroid Prime 4-shaped hole that Retro is digging them out of…
Re: New Mario Kart 9 Teased For Switch 2
Has Mario caught the Death Glare from Luigi…?
Re: PS5 Will Sell More Than 'Switch 2' In The US This Year, Says Analyst
PS5: available all year.
NS2: available for hopefully more than half of it.
Heeeeeeeere’s your sign.
Re: Hamster Releases Its First Arcade Archives Game Of 2025, Teases A Year Full Of "Surprises"
If Konami can’t be arsed doing them, which seems the case right now, how about the Parodius/Otomedius games?
@Serpenterror You missed the Commodore 64 - though that may not have been present your side of the Atlantic. Ironic as it was an American machine.
Re: Random: Sonic 3's Movie Writers Would Love To Adapt Zelda: Wind Waker To The Big Screen
Can we adapt it for the Switch screen first please?
Re: Don't Expect Any More Miniature Consoles From Sega
[le sigh]
Welp - time to finally crack open that Pi5 board and case, I guess. I’ll give me something to do the next three days off work…
Re: Best Tetris Games, Ranked - Switch And Nintendo Systems
Okay, now tell me where you’d put Tetris Battle Gaiden. It’s been released in the west as part of the Forever anthology.
Re: Talking Point: What Are You Playing This Weekend? (Christmas 2024 Edition)
Going through some of my Arcade Archives stuff for purposes of clip recording. Doing a piece on classic coin-ops you won’t necessarily find in arcades anymore.
A certain legendary Goal Of The Month song may or may not be involved (spoiler: OH, IT SO IS).
Edit: just discovered I can’t record a clip of Garou: Mark of the Wolves. Recording is disabled like in the eShop and YouTube. This is particularly annoying as I had a really good round as Kim Dong Hwan, ending with his half-circle-back-C slap-you-silly Ashi Binta kick - one of my favourite moves.
Re: Random: Balatro Fans Start The Ultimate Debate: Is That Jimbo's Clown Ruff Or Tiny Body?
All I can see is Sam Riegel doing an ad bit on Critical Role…
Re: 'Tetris Forever' Adds Curious Sequel 'Welltris' Via A Free Update
Tetrisphere next?
Re: Balatro Developer Calls Out 'PEGI' For Its "Weirdo" 18+ Rating
Didn’t see card games getting rated like that back in the salad days of the 8-bits.
Stuff like, you know, Accolade’s Card Sharks. Multiple forms of poker & blackjack around a green felt-topped table with chips and everything. Games like that taught us teenagers the noble art of Hold’em before the days of Ulliott, Hellmuth et al - not to mention way before we even knew there was more than just a baseball World Series.
(…what?)