Solid_Stannis

I'll be waiting five years for the Switch to release it with its dying breaths instead.

Getting Cena to shill your hardware is akin to selling your soul to the devil. It's not worth it, Nintendo!

Wow, I can't believe Ganondorf is Link's father, Hyrule was Earth all along, Zelda is a replicant, and it was all a dream inside a dream since Link's totem never stops spinning.

The timeline is wonky fanon horse hockey. Anyone who follows it is a fool.

Miitomo is as hip now as Myspace, minstrel shows, and the rotary phone.

Internet commenter damage control.

Gaming magazines stopped being fun somewhere about the mid-2000s when all the big ones inexplicably became bland fanboy rags devoid of any criticism. They were duly rewarded with resultant obsolescence.

Eight years in development; C&D'd in eight hours.

Time truly is a relative concept!

You know your system's an unattractive purchase for at least a year when not even Zelda is enough to convince me to buy it on launch. That strategy sounds better than a stacked launch line-up anyway. Besides, that's not even their seventeenth biggest problem.

@JHDK Then what of the video thumbnail that literally uses this descriptor?

So which one made the decision to have Fi confirming that you did a thing each and every time you did a thing in Skyward Sword, for which the thing-doing statistics reach into the thousands?

Greed DS

Wanna keep the 3DS alive? Get the VC back on track. I think it's too late for it to produce one last proper quality game that doesn't just appeal to a niche audience.

So I guess if you manage to become a top tier competitive player at ARMS, you can call yourself an "ARMS Master."

I don't see why anyone would, because random people on the street would be morally and legally entitled to punch you in the face, but you sure can!

Can you really call overpriced game tech that is pretty much essential due to moronic design choices "accessories?"

If they did a generic, formulaic Yoshi-based monster collection based spin-off it would sell ALL the copies, because Japan.

The end result of Infinity was pretty static and charmless. But then again, so's the whole Cars franchise, so seems like a match made in some kind of metaphysical geographical representation of the afterlife.

Oh, sure Bowser, keeping your kid from seeing harmful material is paramount. But literally putting your kid in harm's way by using them as meat shields for your latest vainglorious invasion is a-okay!

VGM is a gargantuan hole in the digital music streaming library as a, err, whole. It's just as well Spotify allows for integration of local tracks, but it's just a shame that cut-and-paste automated MIDI facsimiles constitutes 90% of the content.

Cena is totally an Xbox man.

According to that guy with the name it's a "SANDSWITCH" that supports what the other guy with the other name calls "SCAMIIBO" because apparently, cringeworthy nicknames become less so if you use them all the time like you're trying to copyright them or something?

...It can't be a coincidence that the AA spinoffs became exclusively Japan-only around the same time the KH Final Mixes finally got released internationally.

This is the kind of hapless developer that gives off an "even the title pun was unintentional" vibe.

Hope they paid Pete Townshend some good licensing money so they can use "Won't Get Fooled Again" as an exclamation point for that title drop.

So they finally realized what they should have done a decade ago: stop "innovating" and go full-on nostalgia bait.

Quality over quantity is always a must for sidequests. A hundred variations of "talk to guy, collect X number of troll sphincters, return for underwhelming reward" is worth quite a lot less than its number.

Ah, I can see the obligatory "a controller is useless when the console itself is harder to find than the wreckage of Latham, the airplane that killed famed Norwegian explorer Roald Amundsen" jokes have already been made.

Carry on.

When you play the Game of Nintendo you either make genius decisions or incomprehensible ones.

There is no middle ground.

Wii will miss U.

The 3DS screen is too low-res to properly display the fine stitching anyway. Glad they went for framerate over detail on this one. And especially I'm glad they didn't go for both compromised framerate AND detail as in DKCR3DS.

It's probably one of the best platformers of the decade; just such a complete package in every desirable way. It makes me feel like the 90s never went away.

Y change user?

...Y not!

Well, if nothing else this proves Nintendo isn't above taking a few shortcuts. If they did more of that maybe we'd have more than 2% of Nintendo's library on hand on the Virtual Console.

What, is their new strategy to become the new Vita? 90% JRPGs with the niche sales demographic to match? Microsoft and Sony must be quaking in their boots by now...

This is how we want to see our game reps. Real people with opinions not intrinsically tied to selling a product or protecting a public image. Rather than this becoming any sort of norm, I can only imagine Ready Reggie getting in trouble for going "rogue", as it were.

He can be a likeable enough guy when he's not a corporate figurehead. I would have liked to hear his honest-to-goodness unfiltered opinion on Nintendo's decline sometime.

...Lousy Smarchio weather!

Come fly with me, let's take off to Hyrule!

I'm surprised Japan has such an expansive voice-over scene. They only have, like, 6-7 distinctive voice archetypes. Innocent school girl; androgynous boy (maybe?); female villain; angry, constipated-sounding old man; throaty old lady; super-campy weird Tingle type; generic deep-voiced villain guy.

All delivered with the subtlety of a telenovela.

Don't drink the NS Kool-Aid, err, water, folks.

I hope they never go the whole live translation presentation route ever again. Certainly they shouldn't bring out people as obviously unfit for being an on-stage presenter as this eccentric kook.

Internatiomal interests are going to do everything in their power to make Britain regret thinking they could go it alone. This is just the beginning. Stick with it, gentlemen. It'll be worth it in the long run. In time we'll all regret not following your lead.

You know this is going to inspire some mouth-breathing Eagleland resident to bring along their NS in the bath and then sue the Big N after they accidentally drop it thanks to their slippery processed cheese-covered fingers.

Maybe Nintendo should apply some of that strategy to real life, i.e. acknowledge what other companies are doing well and not only copying it, but making it better! Hey, acknowledging that there even is competition out there and that they don't live in a monopolistic bubble anymore would be a start.

Plan? If that disgraceful showing was the end result of a "plan" I'd hate to see them winging it. Okay, here's a summary of Nintendo's plan: let's make the Wii again! It was a hit once, surely it'll happen again! Even if it takes some two or three failed consoles in-between, it'll be worth it!

Yeah, but so is the Holy Grail, the Beatles' lost Carnival of Light tapes, Atlantis, and Jimmy Hoffa's corpse.

Bowser: Father of the Year.

Nintendo have trademarked the name Zelda now? Man, Robin Williams' daughter is gonna have to pay residuals to keep her name now.

Miiverse died with the redundant retooling years back. Better to let it die and start anew, because it was really good back in the day. Certainly it was the best social media setup of its generation; never making you feel like you're shouting into a void of nothingness.

Even had I the money I'd have to be in a very forgiving mood to pre-order day one after this. Mario and Zelda were the only things I cared about; time that could have been spent on useful things like if there is an account system and how the VC will work was wasted on five-six generic JRPGs.

Nintendo came off out of touch as ever. Looks like they've learned nothing. I guess I'll buy the thing down the line but only the most ardent of fanboys could view this as the smashing success it had to be.

Let me put it this way: I only cared about two games.

At least they went for something genuinely new and innovative even if I could've done without the seemingly requisite "LOL CRAZY NINTENDO GIMMIX" approach.