We have a confession to make. There are five new retail games coming to the Wii U and (probably) its eShop, but here's an advance warning. Lower your expectations. Push them down so low so all that remains is a jaded, cynical gamer that trusts no-one and nothing.
Have you done that? Good.
Now, in fairness, the five games on the way have their place in any library, and were the sorts of titles that were ever-present on the Wii. While they may not appeal to the sensibilities of team Nintendo Life or much of the community, they wouldn't exist if consumers weren't actively buying them. We know we're not exactly talking these up, but here we go.
All five Wii U titles — and two 3DS ports — are from publisher Oxygene Media (O2 Games), which is bringing us Fit Music for Wii U this week in Europe, and provided us with details of more games coming this year.
Fit Music for Wii U — Released 15th May
Due this week in Europe, this is a fitness program that encourages you to dance in skimpy or peculiar outfits.
Baila Latino — Q1 (presumably delayed)
This is a dance title focused on Latino music (obviously), with tracks such as La Macarena and Tic Tic Tac.
Luv Me Buddies Wonderland — Q1 (presumably delayed)
This is a mini-game collection to cater to families and gamers of all ages.
Mind Labyrinth — Q2
This one seems genuinely interesting in its goals, at least, as it aims to help gamers "plant the seeds of a new gaming experience and embark on a journey toward their own psychophysical well-being".
Yoga Master — Q3
This title utilises the various features of the Wii U — GamePad, Wii Remote and Balance Board — for a variety of exercises.
It's worth noting that Luv Me Buddies Wonderland and Mind Labyrinth are also coming to 3DS in Q2 and Q3 respectively.
As we stated earlier, titles like this flooded the market during the Wii and DS era, and clearly have fans and reach those that want these kinds of games. Whether that applies to many reading this is something else entirely.
Still, if you want a video of Nintendo Life Editorial Director Damien McFerran playing Baila Latino, start your petitions now.