Maxz

Looked up ‘Mad Lad’ in the dictionary and there’s just a crudely drawn picture of Zion’s face created in Mario Paint.

Just get Miku to voice them all. It wouldn’t make much sense but it would at least be funny to hear Yakuza's Kasuga Ichiban blurt out his lines in the bleepy bloopy tones of a twin-tailed 16 year old android girl.

They poached the Big Cheese.

I’ve given up pronouncing the letter entirely. To me, all Xs are silent. It makes reading Microsoft products a lot easier. It’s not Xbox Series X. It’s just Bo Series.

Imagine if writers had to deal with the same sort of ridiculous pressure as game developers.

“HEY GUYS. WORKING ON A NEW NOVEL ABOUT THE PLAGUE. GONNA BE SICK.”

“HEY FANS. QUICK UPDATE. CHARLES AND CAMILLA HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE BUT CAMILLA HAS CAUGHT THE PLAUGE!”

“WASSUP CREW. CAN’T REVEAL TOO MUCH AT THIS POINT BUT CAMILLA HAS DIED. OF. THE. PLAGUE. IKR. CRAZY!”

“WHAT’S FLAPPING GANG? DECIDED TO REWRITE THE BIT ABOUT CAMILLA DYING. SHE’S NOW A MUTANT SUPERHERO LOL!”

@SpaceboyScreams Perhaps not, but I’ve grown pretty allergic to it. I find find these sorts of knee-jerk accusations really irritating, pernicious and lazy.

Under game reviews on this site, it’s not uncommon to find someone baselessly accusing the author of being paid off, just because they don’t agree with the review score.

Like, you can’t deal with someone else’s slightly differing experience of a video game so you have to invent a wild conspiracy to explain how a game could get a 9 instead of an 8.

It may not be that big of a deal in this instance, but I still feel compelled to grumble about it. Consider this my misdirected rage at the post-truth world we live in.

It may not be that serious, but as @AverageGamer points out, it is seriously dumb.

What a nutter. What a hero. What an absolutely champ.

Legendary work.

Remember when they pranked us with that Pokemon Battle Revolution trailer 14 years ago we haven’t got anything that looks half as good since.

https://youtu.be/uzpwF7oZZKU?feature=shared

I just call it Rachelala the Green Spaghetti Dragon and people generally seem to know what I mean.

I bet it will just be 44 minutes of Slackerai snoozing on the couch and 1 minute of him waking up to eat jelly filled donuts.

@Liam_Doolan “Tsunekazu Ishiharamade”

I read that and for a second though it was the Pokemon president’s actual name.

@dil_power They usually stick their ‘personal thoughts’ in at the end of the video. It’s typically a pretty short section, but interesting to get another perspective all the same.

Waited all day yesterday for that Slackerai guy to come and make me a sandwich. Dude didn’t even turn up. Simply appalling work ethic.

Also, mad props to Babybahamut for chronicling all those NGC reviews for posterity. Now that guy is not a slacker.

I expect them to come over here and make me a sandwich right this instant.

This guy knows you know he knows he’s an Expert Splasher.

This is why you should wait for the Definitive Definitive Edition to be released rather than ordering the Standard Definitive Edition at launch. (Assuming it really has changed.)

It’s games like this that make you appreciate… games not like this.

“Honey, I’m going to McDonald’s for lunch.”

“But you hate McDonald’s! You always say it tastes like cardboard.”

“…Turns out I like cardboard.”

This is a little known fact, but the Mafia are actually the good guys.

It’s the Wafia you want to watch out for. Bunch of money-grabbing, garlic-guzzling, purple-nosed, yellow-clothed stinky swindlers.

@DangoTown Honestly, I felt the same way about Rocket League. Just exploiting automobiles for social points.

文字遊戯 "Word Game" looks really intriguing, although I’d put the chances of an English localisation at less than one thousandth of a millionth of a billionth of a gnat’s bum.

I know this is a dumb thing to say, but those boots make Sonic look really… naked.

They should cover him up more.

…Or less

Really, either would work.

But right now he’s somehow at maximum nakedness.

If Nintendo claims that the PS2 is actually part of the ‘Nintendo Switch family’ alongside the OG Switch, the Switch Lite, and the Switch OLED, then the Switch will have sold well over 300 million units and Nintendo will have won the Console Games by a huge margin.

Just a thought.

@EarthboundBenjy Getting annoyed at the head of BIGMODE games for hyping up a the biggest game ever published by BIGMODE games is like getting annoyed at Reggie for hyping up Animal Crossing: New Leaf on his Nintendo 3DS.

@Ryu_Niiyama The only print-out I have of Dame Judy Dench is about as large as baby Stegosaurus. I use it as an oversized hammock in the summer and a cocoon in the winter. Dame Judy keeps me safe whatever the season.

@Don If @kepsux’s couch doesn’t work, you could try your left leg, your right leg, your forehead, a chopping board, the back of your original Nintendo Switch that’s been gathering dust since you bought a Switch 2, a life-size printout of Dame Judy Dench, or an actual mouse mat (ideally the same one you used with the original Mario Paint).

Maybe your character is actually the ring bearer and all the glitches/bugs/rage-inducing dysfunctionality of the world crumbling and crashing around you is actually a really clever meta mechanic designed to mimic the corrupting effect of the ring on the mind of its bearer.

Maybe this game is actually the spiritual successor to Eternal Darkness, but with a greater emphasis on breakfast and gardening.

Mario is in love with jumping, which gives him a natural high.

Link is in love with mowing grass, which gives him a natural HIIIYAAAH.

Saving princesses from evil turtle/pig men is just a convenient excuse to do lots of jumping/mow lots of grass.

I don’t know how you guys can read into this differently.

@OorWullie I completely failed to read this before trying my own hand. Your version is better. I gave up at the chorus!

@Johnny44 I suppose they technically did also outsell the PS4, but that’s not much of a feat considering only 22 PS4s were sold!

Presumably @AlanaHagues intended to write, “The Switch OLED and Lite have outsold the PS5”.

🎵 I took a cart
For my brand new Switch 2
Thought it could be improved
So sprayed it all yellow

It went in wrong
I knew that I was screwed
At least I’ll get some some views
Pity this a poor fellow

Looks like I’ll never learn
Oh, what a thing to have done
Yeah it was all yellow 🎵

EDIT: @OorWullie beat me to it!

They could’ve easily made this a fully functional refrigerator powered by an onboard nuclear fusion reactor — and in doing so solved mankind’s energy problems forever.

Missed opportunity.

“Please take your Trubbish home”

I hear you can get in for free if you manage to glitch through the walls.

Did you know….

Microsoft’s system was originally meant to be called the GameBOSS — a name deliberately chosen to signal dominance over Nintendo’s line of Game Boy systems.

Unfortunately, Microsoft decided to cancel most of the letters to save on printing costs and then fired the marketing team. Bill Gates personally crossed the letters out and we ended up with ❎BO❎.

I was told this by my uncle Phil Cancler who is Head of the Cancelling at Microsoft.

@purple_shyguy I’d argue they do this through hidden collectibles and post-credit content.

Getting to the end credits in any 3D Mario game is fairly straightforward and I’d imagine most players manage it.

However, I’d wager that the number of players who make it past Grandmaster Galaxy or Champion’s Road is much, much lower.

The tough stuff is there, but you often need to push through the main campaign to find it.

At any rate, their current approach doesn’t seem to be turning away older players.

@BandeeOfTheStars Everything rhymes if you butcher the pronunciation hard enough! You just need to take a few more liberties with your elocution!

If that’s too much effort, try the following:

“Switch 2 is finally here, performing for you — and at faster speeds than expected, too. It’s a slick, safe successor and surprising…ly, it can push 4K on a modern TV.

…Sometimes.

C’mon Cranky, take it to the fridge!

(This can help with overheating issues.)”

‘Mooverse’ was deliberately left uncorrected, but all the other typos slipped through the net. (“slick, safe interactive iterative upgrade”/“some sort of fitness product”/“resulting in a something”/“to great create a weird Joy-Con powered oboe”)

We I need an editor.

Reminds me a little bit of that story about Miyamoto first designing the grounds of Peach’s Castle in Super Mario 64 and perfecting Mario’s moveset within them.

The area itself doesn’t have much bearing on overall game progression, but if the exploring fundamental game mechanics in the starting area doesn’t feel good, then you don’t have much of a solid foundation to work with.

…Although I suppose in Bananza’s case, not having a solid foundation sort of is the core mechanic.

@Warioware Here at Maxz Gamez Inc. we are passionate about games and gamers who are just as passionate about playing games are we are about making them. We are always passionately listening to player feedback and take it very seriously and passionately.

That’s why, after much passionate consideration, we have decided to launch an easy mode, dropping today, at no extra cost.

Please enjoy Wonky Thong: Easy Peeler Mode below:

✨ 🍌 ✨

@VoidofLight I’m sure you can smash it back together with a bit more elbow grease!

@Cheez Pauline is literally on cover of the game! You’d have to walk into the store and purchase the game with your eyes closed to avoid that spoiler!

(Warning: Contains official box art)

@VoidofLight I think you smashed too hard. Maxz Gamez Inc. accepts no liability for any damage to the player’s mind, body, or equipment incurred while playing Chonky Dong: Fungal Feet.

Please check yourself before you wreck yourself.

I’ve developed my own 2D browser version of this game which you can play below.

Smash through the wall of obsidian to uncover what’s buried beneath!

(Warning: Contains fruitity)

It might not have voxel mechanics, but as a result the frame rate holds up perfectly.

Miyamoto is the Bo Selector!

@JumpingJackson I believe the name Famitsu is originally a contraction of Famicom Tsūshin (ファミコン通信) meaning ‘Famicom News/Report/Correspondence’ (take your pick). There’s clearly a longstanding history of covering Nintendo stuff, but I don’t believe it’s ever been officially affiliated in the manner of Nintendo Power.

Its current coverage definitely isn’t limited to Nintendo, although with the company’s current dominance of the Japanese market, I think it’s fair to say that Nintendo games aren’t exactly underrepresented in its pages!

But yeah, affiliated or otherwise, I definitely think of it as a sort of overenthusiastic fanboy publication that goes head over heels for anything with Mario’s face on it. Or… most games that broadly function, really.

It feels rare to see a reviewer give anything below a 7, although apparently one reviewer gave Shura’s Gate a 2 back in 1998.

@JumpingJackson I feel it’s a bit of a stretch to call it a “mouthpiece for Nintendo”, but at the same time I don’t generally put too much stock in their reviews, which tend to skew north of average for any eagerly anticipated Japanese release.

There’s an entire Wikipedia page on their scoring, which makes for interesting reading.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Famitsu_scores&wprov=rarw1

Among the perfect scoring titles, you have JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: All Star Battle for PS3, Like a Dragon: Infinite Wealth, and… New Super Mario Bros. Wii.

I ate 92 bananas last week so I expect the Metacritic store to be somewhere in that region.

How Microsoft makes games:

“According to our market research of current industry trends, the top three things that resonate with modern gamers are space exploration, ninjas, and battle royal style gameplay, so we are commissioning several studios to make space-ninja battle royale games.”

Several years of development hell later.

“Sir, our game is massively over budget and industry trends have moved on. People don’t like space ninjas anymore.”

“Okay. Cancel it. And fire everyone on the team. We’ve just bought several more teams who are working on a game about superhero ghost pirates because people like superheroes and ghosts and pirates now.”

Several years of development hell later.

“Sir, our game is massively over budget and industry trends have moved on. People don’t like superheroes or ghosts or pirates anymore.”

“Cancel it.”

——————————

How Nintendo makes games:

“Well done on your last game, guys! Now, go play in the sandpit.”

“Okay!”

A few days later

“We put fists on a Goomba and now it’s like the Incredible Hulk but brown instead of green but still really angry and it goes SMASH SMASH SMASH!”

“That sounds great! Can you think of anything else that is brown and has fists?”

“DK! Donkey Dong! DK! Donkey Kong has fists!

…

“Hey, can we make a game about DK just like… breaking stuff with his fists?”

“That’s sounds smashing!”

What will I play without access to wAIfu Wars: HentAI-Fighters In Space: Attack of the Clones of the Clones of the Clones?

Hey guys…

I’m sitting on something big, too………

……….

_{………it’s my bum…}

_{ha ha}