Dizavid

They're gonna ***** remake Superman 64 or Daikatana before they bother with something good like Eternal Darkness.

Ooooookay, fine. I'm excited for it now. Looks like Kirby is finally getting a modern "full length" outing that doesn't sacrifice the simpler art style and feel/look.

Ocarina was nothing more than, "We're too lazy to do both story and 3D; let's just redo Link to the Past but in 3D and call it a day."

Then they just never ever stopped remaking Past. Tell me if this sounds familiar: you wake up. You get an unexpected sword (usually). You get three treasures (pendants/gemstones). You fight a fake final boss who then opens up some alternate dimension (dark world, time travel, alternate reality, etc). You then nab 5-8 (2 if we're being forced to glance at Wind Waker) more treasures to get to the real final boss. That's the formula of almost every Zelda game since LttP. LttP should get number one due to that very fact: Nintendo couldn't stop remaking it and we couldn't stop eating it up.

Would like to note some of those elements appeared in Zelda 1 and 2, however very loosely; it wasn't a direct formula like above until LttP.

Nintendo: This will deter people from downloading our Switch games for free.

Reality: I can get free Switch games over there? *****' neat-O!

What this review fails to tell you, or factor in is the joycon issues. It's nearly impossible to do an across move (back, forward, button) without them jumping. You pretty much have to court messing up via ducking bc you gotta bring the joycon in on the lower side to do such attacks. No other moves give me any issue; I've sat here for an hour pulling off (slide down to forward or backwards) moved nearly one after another. Back toward is about 50%, simply due to the joycons. As long as Nintendo fails to address and fix their intentional defect, it should never not be mentioned in gaming reviews. This would've been a 9 for me, having it on Switch. Instead it's a 3 bc I'm having to literally drop from hard mode on any other format to very ***** easy just to clear story (kinda hard to hard/very hard when you tell Liu Kang to shoot a fireball but instead he giggles and says, "I bunny today!")

Me: .....what? A ***** Chrono CROSS remake? That game felt like it wasn't even meant to be part of the Chronoverse and got shoehorned in. Is TRIGGER at least getting something new?

Squenix: Jazz hands!

***** you Squaresoft. Felt appropriate to add the soft back into your name for the flaccidity of this "news".

@Orpheus79V I'm willing to volunteer as tribute to be the token person to reference back to on that whole "was actually worse back in the day".

I played GTA3 my first time before Vice City was even a rumor. I can ASSURE you it was nowhere near gestures vaguely towards whatever offering Rockstar is passing off as GTA whatever all this mess is. No way. It had its issues but at least it was MOSTLY smooth framed enough you could ***** around in a fire fight without it feeling like a turn based battle.

Think it's just some ppl don't realize you can criticize something you love and still love it.

Considering the two Saints Row games on Switch now show it IS fully possible to pull this style game off on the Switch, it just makes this ouch even more to read. Glad I didn't preorder; I almost did off that same feeling of, "It's Rockstar and GTA; they treat that like their delicately sick baby. No way they're releasing these in ***** form."

Wheeeeeeew, bullet dodged. I'll wait until I begin seeing reviews with key words like "post patch" saying better things.

Okay, we got Danganronpa. Do Zero Escape trilogy next and I'll never not own and have on me a Switch.

Now that I've thought on it some....this REALLY reeks of Blizzard trying to squeeze as many beloved games under their umbrella as possible, so that gamers won't dare boycott nor allow them to fail. Every games gonna have plenty of ppl who don't care, so with enough big names now under their control, it almost becomes a hostage set up. "Be a shame if anything happened to Crash or Spyro, WOULDN'T IT?"

When they use a "light and quick" meeting to deliver extremely important news, squirt some lube up your ass as quick as possible, bc corporate is coming in hot and dry.

@nhSnork Vault-Tec never said it either, really. The just implied it. Really, really heavily implied it. People missed the red flags bc they were too busy hearing about how much Butcher Pete loves whacking that meat.

.....see what y'all have done? DO YOU SEE??? Now goddamn Monopoly thinks it's okay to dip its toes in MOBAs. Go out there and fix humanity you $-Bags!!!!

For comparison, I put the controller down about a bit over halfway through Dread. I could "feel" the boss giving me trouble was within my abilities; just did not care enough to do so; kept wishing I was playing anything else in my lineup...so I did. I can get why people enjoyed it, just did NOT feel like a "zomg record setting Metroid". Not from the people who ***** all over Other M. Other M likewise had its issues and definitely got some creative language out of me, but I enjoyed myself enough I WANTED to keep playing. With Dread, I only kept playing bc I'd paid 65 dollars for it. The EMMI were also a huge letdown for me. They were just boring. :-/

If they offered a monthly price, like five to ten a month? Yeah I'd dig this. But forcing you into a yearly subscription? Just ask Sirius and Amazon Prime how that worked out. Sorry Nintendo but laughs in emulator

This kinda depresses me. I'm bedridden a decent portion of my life, and portable gaming that can move and toss with me has been a godsend. I was really looking forward to this, but sometimes even the Switch is too heavy and can trigger my neuropathy from holding it longer than half an hour. That extra half pound sadly may have to be the deal breaker for me. On one hand it seems inevitable they'll make a smaller or at least lighter model, but depending on what kind of technology is needed to make high end games run so well on the go it may not be possible to do so for quite awhile. Hopefully someone I know will get one and will lemme demo it for a few hours...do not wanna save up money long enough to buy one just to find out I've bought an expensively odd shaped paperweight. :-/

Omg. This just made a bad day good. ^_^

@badmotorfinger74 I have thought for years now this wasn't a bug but a feature to boost controller sales. They absolutely knew what was wrong.

I know it's supposed to be great, but I've tried to finish the original 3 times. Everytime I wander off bc I get so sick of the supposedly best part: the combat. Nothing wrong as far as being buggy or difficult, it just got OLD. Fast. I've never before or since wished an RPG had god mode just so I could blow through the story and be done w it.

All I needed to hear was the ppl behind Samus Returns are working on this. Hard pass. When you have to build a generous continue system into a Metroid? The claims of trying to recreate OS difficulty fly out the window: they knew ppl would be dying a lot, and instead of balancing, threw in a catch all. That and Samus now controls like a particularly methed up refrigerator. I'll just pretend this one doesn't exist.

I swear everyone's just desperately looking for clicks and likes. That MIGHT actually make devs less likely to hide things or give out unspoken hints bc they know everyone's already looking for 'em.

If Nintendo were going to make some form of "quality of screen life" upgrade, it'd be wiser to announce it alongside an upgraded console. It would negate a lot of the disappointment, and could use the event to announce some upcoming price reduction on the older for when a new, more expensive Switch is in circulation.

Sounds great but... how's the music?

@Bobb now I feel like a copycat bc I just said basically same. ; ;

Since Switch has become, to me anyway, a dream for porting older things, I'd kinda like to see MM Legends come to it. I never actually got to finish those waaaaaay back in the day, but they were fun as hell (sister peeking aside.... O_o )

Calculator: Coming to Smash soon!

@MysticX omg, I thought the same thing when I saw that group of like, 3 of them chasing poor Corsola. I was like, "Omg that's not cute!! They're going to pick it's skull off!!!"

Definitely got my eye on this! My only objection is July seems so far away now.

Is it just me or are reviews for exceptionally bad games just flat more entertaining to read...?

Just what I need; a good reason to go buy a new joycon controller bc I KNOW a new DK Country will make me rage destroy at LEAST one while getting 100%.

Just please, for the love of all ***** sake, don't ever let Disney acquire them.

Like... how do ppl still get got in the gaming industry on April 1st? This isn't a new trend; it's been being done since PS1 at very latest in my memory (the Akuma "unlock" on Resident Evil 2 is earliest I encountered). By now we should all know to never get excited or let down by gaming news until we hear it again on Apr 2nd.

Y'all trying WAY too obviously and hard at this. Did y'all wake up this morning and decide to do pranks and had to throw them together fly by night style? Bc it would be tragic if actual thought went into any of this.

Honestly a bigger joke on us all would be if they really had given us another game that the Nintendo market is way oversaturated with. It being false was a gift, not a prank.

I don't feel like waiting for Sword to redownload; can someone confirm? I get the feeling this article itself is the actual April Fools joke.

Yeah, someone just try to convince me otherwise that Squenix paid off a bot farm. Thought they'd been acting a little coherent lately. Guess someone opened a window and brought half the team back from whatever carbon monoxide fever dream they were previously in.

But no need to worry folks; it's apparent someone closed the window. All's normal again.

Oh you drama queen, the characters can't possibly look bad enough to merit a serious note in the cons. That's just ridiculous. Here, I'll go take a quick look and...

WHY DOES IT FEEL LIKE THEIR EYEBALLS ARE CHEWING MY EYEBALLS?!?!

I always have hell deciding which of that top three is my favorite, so I fully identify with the game list. Not quite so much the characters.

Y'all watch. They gonna finally add Waluigi just bc ppl wouldn't shut up about him 😅

looks at Cyberpunk 2077

Yeah, maybe we should just stfu and let them tell us when they're ready and have actionable news, instead of creating pressure on them to rush?

Gonna be a hugely unpopular opinion I'd imagine, but Trials of Mana is only game I've played new this year that I played again right after finishing. In fact I played it 3x back to back.

So they can fix a Gamecube controller error they made but yet to touch the joy con drift issue? Okay then.

This is a holdover from the 90s, when Nintendo did cater specifically to kids and family friendliness only, such as changing the blood to sweat in Mortal Kombat 1. (Fatalities were inexplicably but thankfully to my young eyes left in place). However, they began breaking this mold even back then, as subsequent MK games were kept fully in tact. Also, do I really need to point out that Resident Evil 4, in the running with Skyrim and Tetris as most ported game ever, debuted on the Gamecube, and was Gamecube only for quite awhile? Nintendo caters to pretty much all groups, which yes...means they cater to kids too. Big deal. I like having a wide range of types of games. I do mostly stick to more M rated types, but having Mario and Zelda around for when I want something lighthearted is a range the other two big boys on the block don't have.

So, is that infamous dude gonna break a Nintendo Switch over this, or is he over it?

Considering a pandemic kinda threw the entire industry back most of the year, give it a break. Wondering where the usual Christmas lineup is, or why the list is so thin is the kinda attitude that lets companies like Rockstar get away with mandatory crunch. At LEAST 90% of us have a backlog. Use this time to turn and devour it and ease up. Honestly aim this more at gamers as a whole this year, but there's a lot of unrealistic expectations flying around in these comments.

Okay I've been serious long enough. If they don't give me a REAL ***** Samus game in the next fifteen minutes I'm going to super missile the core of the ***** planet.

".....needs the full support of the Xbox ecosystem".

Sit and calm down; you didn't invent a rainforest. 🙄

I'm not exactly sure how I feel about a JRPG that has a 10+ hour run time. That's platformer/shooter campaign lengths. I know that doesn't reflect quality, and reviews make it clear the quality isn't going to be an issue. Still, I enjoyed spending much, much longer in these types of games. The longer time with the game creates more of a connection with the characters. That being said, if I had to choose, I will say I much prefer a developer to say what they have to and not pad their speech with boring, long pauses just to falsely extend playtime. All in all I'm going to get it. I just know, if it's that short, I'm gonna be upset at the end bc I wasn't ready for it to be over. 😅

@Deltath
Ah crap, good catch. I didn't have my glasses on when reading the article, so my brain just saw the easiest name to see. I'll go edit it out if I can find my comment.

I've never heard of the guy, but from reading other comments...it seems the guy just says what he knows will stir people up so he can inflate his fame. I can see making a knee jerk reaction without realizing you're missing variables, but it really doesn't seem like it would be THAT easy to miss that there's plenty of good reasons to keep the option of both alive. If he ISN'T just doing it for fame/infamy, then someone really needs to teach him that adults are supposed to think things through before making extreme statements. There's very few absolutes in life, so anytime we state one....we should always bring our A game. This guy brought his D(ouchebag) game. And even then it was a D minus.

So first off, as a disabled man who spends a lot of time in bed due to pain, I absolutely need my favorite form of escapism to be able to toss and turn with me. However, on my better days? Go figure, I kinda like pretending I'm normal and can play on a television. So even as a primary user of handheld, I still greatly love the option to go docked.

Secondly, the ability to play on screen greatly helps when playing with friends in person. While not impossible to play split screens in handheld, it's much less strain on the eye to do so on a television screen.

Jeez. Some of y'all need to realize this article is being humorous about it. Isn't a platform to project your grandpas "everything is too sensitive" schtick.