Kitchener

Lovely news!
Looking forward to it.

And seeing how it has managed to expose at least one of the most pathetic trolls on this site, I'm tempted to break my No Pre-Order rule.

I am so fed up with this tossycock.
First of all I despise teaser-advertising, and Platinum are only bloody well teasing their sodding teasers!

"Oh, we're going to announce four tidbits of info, four will be the number of tidbits, four."
"What about the...?"
"...FIVE! Five will be the number of tidbits, no more, no less!"

I wish all devs would clamp up until they've actually got anything of substance to show. No teasers, no teaser-teasers, no mysterious announcements, no puzzles.

Oh how I hate this.
Because my lizard brain want to know! It wants to know!
"Ooooh, what is your secret? Hm? Tell us! Tell us!"
And I will not be manipulated like this, I refuse.
-but seriously, tell me your secret, though.

Oh the pun in the headline... kisses fingers like a chef sampling a delicious dish magnificent.

I never expected such juvenile mischief from someone named buttfartsauce, apparently you can't trust anyone these days.

@TheRealKyleHyde
Well thank you for putting a smile on my face.
Well, not ON my face but you know, in my mind.

There’s a demo for Bravely Default II incoming?!

My goodness that is great news, can’t wait to hear if the soundtrack is like the first and not like the aural atrocity in Bravely Second.

Do you see, Tom?
Do you see what your unchecked capitalism has wrought?

Don't try telling me the New Horizons island isn't Tom Nook's attempt at creating his own Rapture.
I see through your disguise mr. Nook, or should I say Andrew Ryan!
Oh my god, the animal-human crossbreeds are splicers. Freaky experiments with Adam. It all makes sense.

Maybe if they’d left out the leaf it would have been okay?
I dunno.

“...uncover abstract platforming challenges that require great“

Well?
Require great what!?
I must know!

Great appetite for sharp cheddar?
Great resilience to spiders?
Great hair?!
I must know, NintendoLife, I must know!

@nessisonett
SPOILERS MUCH?!
Why don't you just go all out when you're at it?
Kevin Spacey was Keyser Söze all along!

Oh my god this is excellent news, haven’t played this in like two decades.

My heart skipped a beat when I started reading the headline, almost thought buggy cult favourite Bloodlines was getting a Switch port.
Well, this looks neat too.

Been thinking of getting Celeste, this seems like a good excuse.

I hope they get it, oh I hope they get it hard.
A direct sequel to Super Mario Bros.

Oh lovely! Used to play the old games with Polish voice acting and English subs.
The first Witcher game has awful English voice acting, just awful. But the Polish voice acting is really good. So Polish dubs with English subs is the best way to play for sure.
The Witcher 2 has good English dubs, though. But I find that the Polish dubs adds a certain charm, making the game world feel a little more exotic.
Looking forward to replaying Witcher The Third with Polish voices when I find the time.

@JSDude1
10 minutes at the time?!
You don't know what Awakening did to me.
Oh the grind, oh how I grinded. -ground?
Replaying missions over and over and over again just to make sure every single character was an over-leveled murder god.

Oh how smugly I would snicker every time my apex predators wiped the battlefield with their opponents.

But that's the nice stuff...
Awakening turned me into a hard core eugenicist, Mengele would be proud (I suppose he is, but I've never been to Argentina and I can't find him on Facebook... oh my, I'm sure Mengele loves Fire Emblem).

10 minutes.
Sure, I played for 10 minutes. Then 10 more right after that, and after that....
Fire Emblem is bad for me.

Oh Fire Emblem...I keep going to the eShop to look at that nice 33% discount and swiftly leaving again.
Because I know that if I let temptation get the better of me, I will be up 'til 4 in the morning coddling my tiny, digital, murder darlings.
And frankly, I can't do that anymore, my body and mind can't take that anymore. I'm too damned old.
Kids! House! Wife! Work!
I can't add Fire Emblem to that mix; a figurative fifth wheel hammered onto my squeaky figurative carriage on my personal figurative Oregon Trail.

But I want it, god how I want it.
Maybe just a taste, I can always quit if I want to...

Well, I did recently finish up a very, very complete playthrough of the base game and the expansions. And I swore that I would let it mature in my memory bank before revisiting.
Buuut, this is a great excuse to replay it, no?

I must say that I am quite fond of this sort of launch strategy.

Though I do suppose that this would be impossible for a studio with a bigger name, it's not like Platinum will be dropping Bayonetta 3 next week.

But I will add that I absolutely sodding hate the drip feed tease announcement model.
Ideally I would prefer that developers and publishers shut their traps until they're ready to launch.

Wow, stone cold classics.
Sorry, sorry, I just want Donkey Kong already for crying out loud!

@Shambo
Over Animal Crossing?
You might as well have told us you're a bit over sunlight, it would have been equally absurd.

/friendly jest

Not going to pretend otherwise, I want this.
With two kids, a wife, a job and a house taking up most of my time, portable gaming is where it’s at.
And considering the monumental size of my Steam catalogue, this would be a very welcome gizmo indeed.

Don’t see it replacing my Switch, rather replacing my PC, frankly.

Would be neat with some more horses, computational horses that is, under the hood, plastic case that is.

But I don't know.
I remember when the New 3DS was launched and I was hoping that Konami would update Metal Gear Solid 3 to actually benefit from the added processing power.
Alas, it was never updated and the game was left a blurry, slow mess.

I hope devs take the time to update their Switch portfolio if a Switch Pro actually does become reality.
Because it would be very nice if "impossible ports" like The Witcher 3 and Wolfenstein 2 became less blurry.

But Pro Exclusives are a hard, hard NO from me.

Thank you for the close up image of your tongue, Gavin.
Much appreciated.
Any other parts of your anatomy better left concealed within the confines of your body that you'd like to share?

One hundred and fifteen sodding pounds?!
It's nice, naturally, very nice.
But one hundred and fifteen sodding pounds? Without the bloody battery!?

I can't for the life of me think of a good reason why Flip Grip Guy would go for a portable "dock" design.
Hey, let's make the Switch bigger by adding a ton of redundant plastic tat!
Nay, Mr. Shank Modder Person has the right idea.

Oh nice, Sniper Elite 3 on sale, and a good one to boot.
Might pick up Rogue Trooper as well, always wanted to give it a spin.

Someone should notify the authorities, this poor Gamecube needs help. -if it's not already too late.

Oh what a lovely surprise. This one slipped under my radar when it originally released, looks like a proper good time.
Wishlisted!

I used to think Joycon drift was blown out of proportion. But I just got drift in both the left and right Joycon.
I mean, it might be blown out of proportion, confirmation bias is a strong force, but considering that both my sodding Joycons failed within a week... I don’t know, but I am not pleased that’s for sure.

The fact that I can’t get De Blob on sale because the sale is limited to the US vexes me greatly.

@KitsuneNight
Sure, but now he nukes the game.

Glad it's doing well.
I'm enjoying it greatly.
Played the other two on the PC but the third ground my measly PC to a stuttering mess.
So getting to finally play it has been great, and it looks much better than I'd feared, it really does look spectacular in portable mode at times.

Hoping they port the first and second game to the Switch, would love to play them again.

I know nothing about Felix The Reaper except it is the cutest little thing I’ve ever seen!
Look at him dancing with his chubby ...skelington body.
Adorable!

Oh no, was hoping this would turn out good. Glad i waited for the review though.
Maybe I’ll give The Sinking City a spin instead to fhtagn around a bit with Cthulhu in good old R’lyeh.

Now then, let’s not pretend Star Fox is actually an enjoyable experience in any other way than aural.
Seeing what Super FX could do was impressive at the time, but it’s little more than a passable gaming experience these days.

An historical curiosity for sure, but fun to play? Neigh.

And yes, I played this for hours on end back in the day, it was not fun then and it is not fun now.
StarFox 64 on the other hand is brillo, bring on the Nintendo 64 emulation.

The only two games in this release that stand as truly timeless are Yoshi’s Island and Zelda. Metroid and Mario are still good, but the artistry of Yoshi and Zelda make them immune to the passing of time.

Loved this on PC back when it first came out.
Definitely going to give this a whirl on the Switch.

The biggest problem I have with this game is that I am completely unable to play as anything other than the Engineer class. It’s my class, it’s aaalmost like playing as a Land Surveyor in a game...makes me wish I had access to hulking steam automatons and a colossal wrench when I’m out in the field IRL.

I’m also dangerously addicted to Diablo 3 whenever there’s a new Season on.
I’m afraid, well thankful really, that Torchlight II doesn’t hold the same replayability spell over me.

Hope this turns out well, with the less-than-stellar AC3 port in mind.

AC4 has been on my Really-Should-Play-Some-Day-List for a long time.

Oooh, great news. I really enjoyed this on the 3DS.
The expansive, alien and gobsmackingly gorgeous environments were the true star of the show for me and I’m looking forward to seeing them in remastered form.

I keep meaning to play this but every time I start I get the feeling this isn’t really for me.
It just feels like I’m doing random things while scoffing down heaps of flavour text.
And it’s not like I have a problem with that, I’ve played Sunless Sea to exhaustion and that is pretty much all text between and during voyages.
-and God knows Pillars of Eternity is in dire need of an over-excited editor with a red marker, and I’ve played that twice now without complaint.
Bah, I’ll probably get it some day.

Christ those games were ...a right bother on the SNES.
I completed them purely out of spite.

The giraffe level in the Lion King was a special kind of hell.

@TheRealKyleHyde
You I like.

I’d love to give this a go, most of it looks looks a right, bloody treat.
But I will not, I can not, I simply refuse to spend any money on a game where the protagonist has the most appalling hair style known to man; The Bell End.
What. Were. They. Thinking?
It makes me physically unwell, it is literally hard to watch and I need to avert my gaze.

There is a bug that is not addressed in this review; stat bonuses from items do not appear to be working.
So your Hyacinth Stompers of +4 Constitution don't actually make your characters more hardy.
Hope they fix it soon, as it is a bit bothersome at times.
Other than that, I'm really enjoying playing this on the go.

@Bunkerneath
Oh for god's sake, man. Why did you have to point it out?!
This is never going to stop annoying me now.

@Jack_Goetz
There was a Robocop vs Terminator game for the SNES.
Reviews at the time were ...unfavorable.

But I find the lack of any mention of Stargate for the SNES a bit disappointing. I mean, it stunk, but it would have been fun to be reminded.

Incidentally, looking up these two games and their critical reception (which I was utterly oblivious to at the time) has made me realise that I've suffered through some awful games during my childhood.
But you had to play what was available for purchase/rent, you know. Good times, really.

I clicked on this expecting an article on a literal nightstand for the Switch...
Because I've been dreaming of some sort of articulated arm, like on adjustable lamps, to hold the switch over my head while I'm in bed!
Now I'm disappointed, rubbish.

We built this city!
We built this city in Chernobyl!

To each their own, is all I can say to not sound impolite so I'll leave it at that.

What?! I can't get my rocks off to this!
Well I could but that would be weird and sad, and I draw the line at sad.