Feature: Video Game Characters Looking For Love
Posted by Philip J Reed
Rabbit Season! Doc Season!
About me: Though my name is Fuyuhiko Date, you can and will call me The Doctor. I came to this island as part of a research expedition, but really I just wanted this Demon Crown, which gives me the ultimate power of being able to boss around a little goth girl and a talking piece of luggage. Now at last I can spend all of my time plotting a war against humanity, and waiting patiently in the throne room for a robot to come and kill me.
Location: Floating Island
Ethnicity: Surface Dweller
Hair: Serious hat head
Eyes: Oh you mean like this awesome one on my Demon Crown?!
I would like to meet: A woman who doesn't mind eating rabbit every night. I can afford to be picky; I'm young, fit and reasonably attractive...except for the 3D version of me which apparently was modelled on John Goodman.
I like to play the following sports: Spelunking, organizing steel-cage Mimiga death fights, mindlessly firing projectiles forward even if you're standing behind me.
My exercise regime consists of: I don't exercise, because I'm somehow easier in my muscular form.
My favourite music: "I Shall Be Released (Over and Over Again Through Nintendo's Download Platforms With Almost No Changes from the Previous Versions)" by Bob Dylan
My favourite movie: Revenge of the Nerds, Watership Down, Who Fed a Red Flower to Roger Rabbit?
My favourite TV show: That show where ruthless, blood-thirsty mutants slap each other around for an hour. I think it's called Keeping Up With the Kardashians.
My dream is to: Spend some time away from my henchmen. They're loyal but far from effective, and the female one is incredibly clingy. All I want is some alone time to plan the coming war with the surface, but she can't bear to let me out of her sight for even a minute. I know she doesn't like being alone. Yes, that's correct...Misery loves company.
On a first date I'd like to: Lock you in a flooded chamber so your best friend drowns. I know it sounds cruel when you spell it out like that, but what did you expect of a warmongering psychopath?