The Moon
Crushin' On You
About me: I am an arguably sentient hunk of dense grey stone that is set to destroy the whole of human civilization in 72 hours. If that's not incentive to respond to my dating profile quickly, I don't know what is. Also please don't judge me too harshly by my profile pictograph; I always end up pulling a daft face when someone takes out their Picto Box.
Location: Increasingly nearer the surface of Termina
Ethnicity: Satellite
Hair: Grass on the field
Eyes: Crying Moon's Tears of loneliness
Occupation: Synchronous Rotation
I would like to meet: Someone who will be a little nicer to me...I'm tired of being called Craterface. I want a woman who will steer me right, and by that I mean "not directly into a planet."
I like to play the following sports: Demolition Derby, Antagonistic Pants-Dropping
My exercise regime consists of: Affecting people's moods with my gravitational pull. Being ridden like a jockey by a duck-billed scarecrow who wishes to punish an entire world for his sadness. Man, I just made myself depressed...
My favourite music: "C'e la Luna" by Louis Prima, "Like the Moon" by John Scofield, "Killed by the Moon" by John Scofield on the Fourth Day. Also the Inverted Song of Time, so we can spend more time together.
My favourite movie: Armageddon, Apocalypse Now, Apocalypse Three Days From Now, The Moon Who Fell to Earth, and that one movie where Bill Murray keeps reliving the same events over and over but gets to keep any masks he's collected.
My favourite TV show: Lunar Tunes
My dream is to: I have too many to list...my head's been in the clouds lately.
On a first date I'd like to: Take things slowly, and appreciate you from afar. I've been burned before — mainly from penetrating Termina's atmosphere — and I just don't understand the need to move so quickly. Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I take a great deal of pride in my approach, and I want to make sure I do it right. It may seem like I'm hanging back, not moving, but remember I'm just proceeding any own pace.
Comments 40
Ha Ha! lol!
@Chicken - These pages were pure genius! Kudos to you!
Ganondorf, obviously. Who wouldn't want that wicked man of the desert?
I think Philip should write things like this more than a few times a year.
Yeah! The Doctor made it in!
Well done, Mr. Chicken.
The Doctor is BOSS. Very well done.
Snazzy logo!
Funny, but it lacks Medusa.
Magikoopa, you'll have a magical moment.
That love logo should be on the front page of NintendoLife logo, just to spice things up~
How can someone like Ganon still be single?
how can Ganaondorf be singe? arent he the only gerudo male?
The Koopalings aren't Bowser's kids, only Bowser Jr. is.
“Our current story is that the seven Koopalings are not Bowser’s children. Bower’s only child is Bowser Jr. and we don’t know who the the mother is.” - Miyamoto.
I'm such a killjoy :-/
Great pages
Why is Gannondorf single?
Still,Not Bad.
That's some good rapid-fire comedy. So many bad puns!
Yes, you really should've had Medusa or Hades in here, that would've made this all the more funny.
BTW Tingle from last year still is the best page~
Medusa just missed the cut! I started that one but wouldn't have had it done in time.
Next year?
/me doesn't know what to make of how many people are surprised Ganon(dorf) is single.
@Philip Yeah, just as long as we see her sometime!
On another note, that year really passed fast...
Wow that was hilarious! I really like the Moon's
"Or maybe take you out for some Chateau Romani...if you really want the magic to last."
Genius.
I CREATED ROBOT INTELLIGENCE. Heck yeah I did!
That weird moment when nintendolife makes better jokes than dorkly
This was hilarious, nicely done nintendolife.
Brilliant!
But what about Mr.Game & Watch, I'm surprised he's still single, why is there no Mrs.Game & Watch?
I would be surprised if Ganondorf was married, actually. He can have any Gerudo girl he wants, so he would not do for a particularly loyal husband. And no Gerudo girl would do for a particularly tolerant wife.
Oh Philip, I wasn't expecting you to do another of these. Thank you for the laughs. I enjoyed the Doctor, Ganondorf and The Ghost from Pacman in particular
Dis arteecle iz so phunny... But seriously, I like it very much. Not bad.
Too bad I barely read, I didn't even finish reading the first page.
Brilliance. But come on, no girls (mother brain doesn't count).
We had a lack last year too with only samus. Us guys need someone for valintines day too. Now I will have to be alone since my internet date plan failed.
King Dedede:
"Mate for life. My carefully cultivated flab can keep our baby warm while you venture out blindly into the tundra to find and gather enough food to keep all three of us alive, because that's certainly fair."
I thought I had seen the best last year, but this stuff is brilliant! These features are the things you can't find at other sites and what makes NL great, and it's good to see more being made. Great job, Chicken :3
Awesome work, Awesome Read, @Phillip: !
Has it really been a year since the first one..? Good work again Phil
Amusing article, though Pinky would of been more suited than Inky. She's a hopeless romantic that has a thing for pac-man. LOL.
Mad my day
Aw, no Eggman? Oh well. These were so silly. How the heck did you come up with so many jokes?
Also, Dr. Wily likes Robot Wars! I guess he has some good taste.
This was a thoroughly entertaining read! Dedede and Kamek happened to be my favourites!
This is the reason to look forward to Valentine's Day every year.
Never stop, @Chicken_Brutus, never stop! At least not as long as LeChuck doesn't send you his dating profile. Actually never stop until every Ninty character got his own profile.
HAHAHAHA, PHILIP J. REED, I GIVE YOU A HAND FOR TAKING YOUR TIME TO CONSTRUCT SUCH HUMOUROUS DETAILS WITHIN THESE VIDEO GAME VILLAINS!
The one that got me actually laughing so hard was the part when Kamek said he wishes to have a wand more powerful than one that releases geometric shapes!! And then the part that topped it all off...wait for it...WHERE WAS IT MANUFACTURED, SESAME STREET!!!!! LOOOOOOOOOOLQ AHAHAHAHA!!!
NL about Bowser: 'My favourite movie: Taken, Taken 2'
LOL
Oh NL....
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