Feature: Video Game Characters Looking For Love
Posted by Philip J Reed
Spanish is the Loving Tongue
About me: Hola, senoritas. It is I, the famous and beautiful Don Flamenco. I am looking for a woman (or preferably women) who can love me for who I am, which is a world-famous celebrity boxer and all-around handsome, rich and flawless specimen of manly perfectness. There are some who say they are lovers, and not fighters...I, however, am both, which mathematically makes me twice as good as those wimps.
Hair: Totally real. Do not touch it!
Eyes: Black by round two
Occupatio: Boxer, Stereotype
I would like to meet: Whatever practical joker picked out those powder blue gloves I was forced to wear in the first game.
I like to play the following sports: Boxing, Bull-Fighting
My exercise regime consists of: Getting defeated by Little Mac, but then somehow outranking him later.
My favourite music: "March of the Toreadors" from Carmen, "Boxerbeat" by JoBoxers, "The Boxer" by Simon and Garfunkel, "Kiss From a Rose" by Seal, "Kiss From a Boxer With a Rose in His Mouth" by me when I do that.
My favourite movie: Raging Bald Bull, Million Dollar Flamenco-Dancing Baby, Requiem for a Heavyweight With a Bandage on His Belly
My favourite TV show: Fawlty Towers
My dream is to: Meet somebody who can see me as something more than an offensive ethnic caricature, even though I seem to have been designed in every way to encompass all aspects of my culture, right down to that traditional Spanish first name of mine, Donald.
On a first date I'd like to: Figure out why I wrote this profile in English.