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Merry Christmas from Nintendo Life!

Posted by James Newton

'tis the season!

It's Christmas — a season of goodwill and peace to all men. A time when we take some well-deserved time off to catch up with family and friends, stuff our faces with food and do a huge amount of gaming.

To celebrate this awesome time of year we have a special treat.

Nintendo gamers know the legendary Nintendo 64 kid, but while it's a hugely entertaining — and, viewed in the right way, incredibly touching video — it doesn't make such a good read.

Nintendo Life writer Joe Walker rectifies that with his novelisation of The Nintendo 64 Kid.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

The Nintendo 64 Kid

by Joe Walker

It was a Christmas morning that at first seemed like any other. I was overjoyed to receive all of the action figures and sports equipment I had asked for, just like every year. Santa was very good to my sister and me, rarely leaving our wishes unfulfilled.

This year, though, something WAS missing, something which I yearned for with my entire being. The fibres of my very soul all called out in unison, hoping desperately to receive the one item that would sate my deepest desires.

My mom was filming us again, which I never understood. She laboured so much to record every minute of every birthday, Christmas and school function and never watched the videos afterwards. I figured she recorded everything in search of that one elusive moment, that one instance in time that would define a very specific point in our lives.

She was lucky the camera was rolling that morning.

“You have another present, son,” my mom said, pointing to a box from behind her video camera. I hadn’t noticed; in the storm of ripped wrapping paper being flung this way and that it must have slipped out of my mind.

I silently analysed the box as I slid it across the floor to the designated unwrapping area in front of the video camera. It was the right size, and it felt heavy enough. It couldn’t be… could it? Did Santa actually pull it off?

Unable to contain myself, I ripped off the paper in what seemed like one piece. The rectangular box stood bare on front of me, like some kind of monolith; a monument of how much Santa loved me.

“NINTENDO SIXTY-FOOOOOOOOOUR!” The words lept from my throat at a volume I didn’t know I was capable of producing. “OH MY GOD!”

“Thank you Santa!” my sister said calmly as I tossed a stray bit of paper aside. How could she be so calm? Did she realise what lay on the floor in front of us?! It was a literal FUN FACTORY. This was a device that, when plugged into the television, was capable of producing nothing short of PURE JOY as long as it was powered on.

My stupid, short-sighted sister thanked Santa again as I turned the box over and over in my arms, trying to see everything it had to offer all at one time while some primal force inside me continued to scream a euphoric battle cry. Yes, Santa had delivered this immeasurable bounty, but I was the one who had earned it.

I lay the box flat on the floor and placed both hands firmly on the top for a reason I to this day do not understand. Was I afraid it would run away? I must have been, because I lowered my face to within an inch of the printed cardboard – God, it smelled so good – and screamed again: a dominating scream, as if to say “YOU BELONG TO ME NOW! I AM YOUR MASTER AND YOU WILL SERVE ME!”

I began pawing at the box, my tiny hands desperate to unearth the treasure that lay inside. By this time my sister had begun to copy what I was doing — you know, like little sisters do — but I paid her little mind. She would get hers later. This moment… this moment was mine, and I would be damned if I let her or anyone else take it from me.

Standing the box upright again, I pumped my fist toward the sky, confident my joyous cries would reach the heavens above me. “YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!” My stupid sister did it along with me. Ugh.

A revelation struck me: If Santa came through with a gift this big, there would be no more than one game that would accompany the new console. However, just down the street, there was a veritable treasure trove, a palace that contained multiple copies of every game I could ever hope to play. “Now we can order games from Blockbuster!”

My mom called my name, snapping me away from the best moment in my life. I had another present, apparently. I don’t know why Santa would even bother. Nothing could top this. Nothing. No moment would ever come close for my entire life. When I graduate college? Psssh. My wedding day? Gross, girls have cooties. This… this was what it was all about.

I pulled the paper away on the smaller box, still unable to take my eyes off of the bounty that had been bestowed upon me. “Nintendo 64 remote control car!” I said, trying to sound excited. A nice gesture, fat man, but if you already gave me filet mignon, why bother throwing in a pound of ground beef?

Still… he had done it. “Thank you, Santa!”

Merry Christmas to all our readers!

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User Comments (67)

NImH

#2

NImH said:

I had never seen that video! That mess is friggin hilarious! I love it because I felt that same emotion upon unwrapping my NES when I was 7! The smell of a freshly-opened Nintendo system is pure magic for me ever since.
All I can hope is that at some point in my life, I experience that level of excitement over a Nintendo Christmas gift once more.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

WaveyChristmas

#5

WaveyChristmas said:

I've been sick for 2 days with a frosty the snowman Cold, which has the potential to be the worst Christmas EVERRR. :p Now If you'll excuse me I've got a date with some hot chocolate & marshmellows plus the Peewee's Playhouse Christmas special hehe. B-)

CorbsAdmin

#9

Corbs said:

Merry Christmas to you all. You guys are the reason we do what we do here and you all make it very rewarding for us and for that we thank you. Here's to another amazing year at Nintendo Life! :D

Tony3DS

#11

Tony3DS said:

Thank you James, Corbie, and all of you at Nintendo Life and Happy New Year everyone! My first Nintendo was an original Gameboy that I received for Christmas in 1990 and I didn't know what it was. It was still exciting though as my dad explained all the games and accessories while I opened them (anyone remember lightboy?)

Pj1

#12

Pj1 said:

Happy Christmas everyone and to the guys at Nintendo Life, contiune the good, hard work into 2012.

Shiryu

#14

Shiryu said:

Merry Christmas, everyone! Go to shiryumusic.no.sapo.pt and grab "Shiryu's Arcade Volume 5" for a nostalgic music trip down video games of old memory lane. v ^_^

zezhyrule

#15

zezhyrule said:

Merry Christmas pikky! er I mean, everyone! but mainly pikky!

Edit: Haha, nice read.

papalems1

#17

papalems1 said:

merry christmas to everyone on here have a great time roll on next year gonna be great for all us nintendo fans

SpaceKappa

#18

SpaceKappa said:

Merry Christmas to everyone! Enjoy your time with your friends and family!

I'm glad you liked my story! :)

WiiLovePeace

#19

WiiLovePeace said:

Merry Christmas everyone! Hope everyone gets what they most wish & hopefully a few gaming presents too! :D Love & Peace to all! !

Mowzle

#23

Mowzle said:

Thanks for that Joe!

Merry Christmas to staff and all participants on Nintendo Life.
You are guaranteed to add sparkle to the day.
Have a wonderful festive season. :*

FonistofCruxis

#25

FonistofCruxis said:

It takes up more time typing up comments on my iPhone since I'm waiting for my laptop to return but I'll still wish you all a merry Christmas!

TheKingOfTown

#26

TheKingOfTown said:

Too bad I have to spend Christmas with my braces I just got yesterday. >.<

But, it'll be fine once I get my Mario Kart 7.

TikiTong

#29

TikiTong said:

Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah and Happy Kwanzaa to all the editors and users of Nintendo Life. Happy Holidays!!!!!

JohnPhilipSousa

#33

JohnPhilipSousa said:

When I got my first system, I was disappointed. I wanted a GBA. I asked for a GameBoy, not knowing the difference. I got a GameCube, because my brother wanted it. I didn't know what it was. I liked more though when I learned what it was. The only thing is, my brother tried to hog it. He was forced to share. At that time, I enjoued watching him play. I guess that's why I like being player 2 in Super Mario Galaxy, it's like watching someone play except you help a bit.

Sh00kst3r

#36

Sh00kst3r said:

XBOX THREE SIXTEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
This will be me tomorrow. XD
Touching story, Mr. Kappa. I was moved in ways I've never been moved before. Merry Christmas everyone, and a Happy New Year Birthday to me!

Chrono_Cross

#40

Chrono_Cross said:

Merry Christmas to everyone! Now leave me alone while I go get over this hangover before New Years!

throws up

OrdonianLink

#45

OrdonianLink said:

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, umm... that's all I got :O

wait... Happy Holidays!

MasterGraveheart

#47

MasterGraveheart said:

Merry Christmas one and all! Even if some of you may not celebrate Christmas, Merry Christmas anyway in the hopes that your season is, well, Merry. ^_^

Blue_Cat

#49

Blue_Cat said:

Great story! It hasn’t snowed here yet, but this article makes today feel like Christmas Eve. . . Merry Christmas all :D

k8sMum

#51

k8sMum said:

(due to PTSD i have a bad time with remembering dates so i don't even attempt it). i remember the year my 10 yr old son wanted one thing only: donkey kong country. his dad and i found one copy about 60 miles away. we went whilst the kids were in school. we live in upstate NY and a bad snow storm hit, but we went anyway. we got lost 2 or 3 times but finally found the store and bought it.

we got back home minutes before the kids got home from school. come christmas morning, mick as gobsmacked that he got the game! he started playing even tho there were presents left to open. he put the game in and UH OH! there was already a 'save' file on it. i told him that i had...um...wanted to be sure it was a good cartridge as they's had problems with some of the...he just laughed and knew that i hadn't been able to resist playing it either.

merry christmas, everyone.

Robo-goose

#56

Robo-goose said:

Christmas is already here? Better start playing your favorite Zelda game for tradition sake.

MrZanctom

#64

MrZanctom said:

I remember watching this when I was younger. If I were old enough to have been alive when the N64 came out, I would have acted the same way if I unrapped that on Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone! Happy gaming!

eviLaTtenDant

#67

eviLaTtenDant said:

Nice writeup. While my reactions must have been less extreme i must have had about the same excitement when my daddy rented the Super Nintendo and SMW (later: F-Zero) for me and my four year older aunt back when they released in Europe.

@Scissors (22.): Not if you let me join your festivities next time. ;)
@poptartcaper (36.): Nope you're not. Guess the kid just made that up though.
@k8sMum(53.): Nice. :) My dad and i played the hell out of Kirby's Star Stacker which was a gift to my cousin to "see if it works". Up to this day i don't know if you could even delete the save file.

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