Game Review

Chuck E. Cheese's Alien Defense Force Review

USA USA Version

Posted by Philip J Reed

In space, no one can hear you regret your purchase

Earlier this year, DSiWare had the misfortune of becoming home to Chuck E. Cheese's Arcade Room. A joyless collection of five dull mini-games and additional gimmicks such as achievements and an outfit customisation feature, the game was a disappointment in nearly every possible way.

Now we have a semi-sequel in the form of Chuck E. Cheese's Alien Defense Force. The idea here seems to be to streamline the experience of the first game, finding some measure of improvement simply by cutting out what didn't work.

That's a good impulse, and one we certainly stand behind, but when Chuck E. Cheese's Alien Defense Force cuts out everything that didn't work in the first game, it's left with almost nothing at all.

In the first game there were five games to play, and in this game there's one. Oh sure, there are seemingly five games to choose from here as well, but they're all identical, barring speed and the style of targets you'll be shooting at. Instead of five distinct experiences, you have one single game with multiple difficulty settings, none of which are actually difficult at all.

In fact, if you were unfortunate enough to download Chuck E. Cheese's Arcade Room, you already have this game. There it's called Mr. Munch's Target Practice, and it plays the same as it does here. The main difference now is that you can choose between playing as Chuck E. Cheese, who uses a water gun, and Mr. Munch himself, who throws water balloons.

To play, you tap the target. As we mentioned in our review of the previous game, the closest thing to strategy is that you have to tap slightly ahead of the target, which is something you'll already know if you've ever encountered things that move. That's it.

In the lower left you'll see the number and type of target you need to hit in order to succeed at your mission — mission, apparently, is an extraordinarily loose term — and in the lower right you'll see an icon you can tap to reload. If you fail to hit all the targets before the time runs out you'll have to play the same game again. If you succeed in hitting all the targets before time runs out, you can move on to the next machine and play the same game again. What a reward.

While we're glad the developers decided to focus on one of the few games from the original collection that wasn't broken, we're disappointed that they didn't take any steps to make it more fun. Gone too are the abilities to dress Chuck E. and collect prizes from the first game, meaning even fans of that abysmal lump of garbage will find disappointment here.

We do still have an achievements system intact, but they simply unlock whenever they feel like it, with no hints on guidance on how to get them. Once you do get them you'll have no idea how you did it. It just...happens.

The controls are fine, but when they consist solely of tapping objects that's hardly something to crow about. The music is endlessly irritating and the graphics are static faces and objects. It's an awful, awful game, and we're pretty sure we spent more time writing about it than the developers did making it. It'd be a lot cheaper and exactly as much fun to tap the touch screen with your system off.

Conclusion

Chuck E. Cheese's Alien Defense Force is an awful game. On the bright side, it's built entirely around one of the few games from Chuck E. Cheese's Arcade Room that actually worked. Unfortunately there's absolutely nothing else here, and you simply play that game over and over again. Or, more likely, not, because you have better things to do with your day. Trust us.

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User Comments (54)

rayword45

#1

rayword45 said:

A 1 as expected. I wish there was a return policy so I could see if these games are really that bad.

If it's not broken, shouldn't it get a 2? :P

machomuu

#2

machomuu said:

This didn't even need to be reviewed. I'm all for not judging a book by its cover, but if there actually were a good Chuck E. Cheese game released then the universe would implode. In other words, it really goes without saying that it'll be bad. If there were a good one it'd be breaking news.

NImH

#4

NImH said:

That's my favorite tagline so far :) You are a funny man, Philip J Reed.

Bass_X0

#6

Bass_X0 said:

If someone willingly buys a Chuck E Cheese game, then they knew what they were getting into. Its not the game's fault that the player conciously decided to waste their money.

Philip_J_ReedStaff

#10

Philip_J_Reed said:

If it's not broken, shouldn't it get a 2?

We thought about that, but since it offers even less content for more money, and it's still not any good, we were comfortable giving it the dreaded 1.

black-kyurem

#12

black-kyurem said:

This game is for poor people who cant afford to take thier kids to Chuck.E.Cheese. End of story.

SilentHunter382

#17

SilentHunter382 said:

@MikeDanger No matter how bad a game is there is people with jobs who made this game. You wouldn't like someone to say that the place you work at would go bankrupt.

Tasuki

#18

Tasuki said:

Well for one thing I dont even like going to the actually Chuck E Cheese place so I don't think I would like a game endorsed by them.

theblackdragonAdmin

#19

theblackdragon said:

@MikeDanger: That's not very nice — besides, without games like these, we wouldn't have hilarious reviews from Phil to read... and he wouldn't be able to continue atoning for whatever horrible misdeeds he did in a past life :O

NImH

#22

NImH said:

@Void I do agree, but must admit that I enjoy Samurai G... It's a fun time waster... and it's what people in the hood call me, naturally.

Kirk

#23

Kirk said:

Call me bitter but this will probably still make more money than my own game, which has made a grand total of £41.65 thus far, despite my game clearly being a crap load better than this.

Christ, I wasn't even lucky enough to get my game featured on any mainstream game sites, once again despite being a crap load better than this game, and my game is even seasonally relevant too.

It's all just so unfair.

:(

OracleOfTruth

#25

OracleOfTruth said:

I would say "epic fail", but epic is too good a word for this game, so fail will have to suffice.

HawkeyeWii

#27

HawkeyeWii said:

800 points!!!!!!?? Seriously?? My mind has just been f***ed by the stupidity of the people who produced this pile of crap!

ogo79

#28

ogo79 said:

"In space, no one can hear you regret your purchase"
hahahaha love that

KingDunsparce

#29

KingDunsparce said:

SPAAAAAAAAACE!
At this point (actually, at the point I heard of them), I wasn't expecting anything out of UFO anyways.

rayword45

#30

rayword45 said:

If a working but still atrocious game gets a 1/10, I demand someone go to the Ninjabread Man review and change that from a 2 to a 0. That game is legitimately unplayable.

SirSmugleaf

#32

SirSmugleaf said:

I feel sooooo sorry for you, Phil, that you have to play these kinds of games! Soldier on!

SheldonRandoms

#34

SheldonRandoms said:

Is this a real game that they have at Chuck E. Cheese? And why would I ever go back there when there's a arcade in the mall that has Street Fighter 3 Third Strike in it, I went back to Chuck E. Cheese not to long ago to redeem old tickets and the only good game that they had there was Metal Slug 6.

Birthday_Boy

#35

Birthday_Boy said:

@CosmicMii Thats sorta an ignorant thing to do. Plenty of the games there are bad, but there are great games as well, like Wayforward's, Dark Void Zero, and Petit Computer to name a few.

Barbiegurl777

#40

Barbiegurl777 said:

Even though the games are identical in chuck e cheese alien defense force I still like the option of choosing between different arcade machines to play on plus you get to use squirt guns & water balloons which were two of my favorite things in the summer time when I was younger for stuff to do. :D

How do you unlock the trophies though in chuck e cheese alien defense force though? I'm having a hard time unlocking the trophies do you have to get to a certain high score in the game to unlock them? Or just play every day & the trophies count how many days you played?

Happy Gaming! (^_^)

MarvelMon22

#41

MarvelMon22 said:

seriously. the sequel was a flop, even with the brand name, and you think that givin even less content than the original will apologize for these atrocities? these should have been sent to the moon, or even farther.

WaxxyOne

#42

WaxxyOne said:

"It'd be a lot cheaper and exactly as much fun to tap the touch screen with your system off."

Yeouch.

WesCash

#43

WesCash said:

What a load of garbage.

Hilarious review though Mr. Reed. Keep up the good work.

Odnetnin

#44

Odnetnin said:

You need to get less obvious with your tag lines, Phil. I could tell you wrote this review just by reading it.

Also, I laughed out loud twice while reading this: "It's an awful, awful game, and we're pretty sure we spent more time writing about it than the developers did making it. It'd be a lot cheaper and exactly as much fun to tap the touch screen with your system off."

LEGEND_MARIOID

#47

LEGEND_MARIOID said:

You get trash on other DL platforms like iOS as well. Its just they are max a couple of quid. Thanks for going through the pain of reviewing this game.

-KawaiiHaylee

#51

-KawaiiHaylee said:

I'm a huge fan of Chuck E. Cheese, and I would have probably bought it.... but now that I see that it fails, I just can't.... No.... absolutely not... Chuck E, you should have just stuck with the tubes... And the pizza... And the Ski-Ball... and REAL mini games... xD

WindWakerLink

#52

WindWakerLink said:

Hahaha! Funny review Philip! I don't too many 1/10 stuff here...didn't even think a score like that possible. XD

Odnetnin

#53

Odnetnin said:

@Knuckles That was actually a sarcastic compliment. I'm starting to think I should put smileys at the end of all of my posts, so people know not to take them seriously.

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