News Article

Muscle March Marches Westward

Posted by Marcel van Duyn

Namco Bandai's crazy WiiWare game gets a USK rating.

There's a whole lot of Japan-exclusive WiiWare games we'd love to see released elsewhere, as unlikely as some of them are. However, the USK has rated a certain game which is a real shocker - We thought it would be the absolute least likely game to be brought over.

Muscle March was released on WiiWare in Japan last May, after being scrapped for release in actual arcades. Seemingly taking inspiration from similarly crazy Japanese games like Cho Aniki, you play as one of several muscle-bound characters as you and a bunch of others chase after the crook who has made off with your precious supply of protein.

As the criminal is chased all throughout the city, he'll frantically flail his arms around and crash through walls - The gameplay consists of nothing more than using the Wii remote and nunchuk to put your character's arms in the same positions as the shape of the hole in each wall in order to get through unharmed. With its completely insane premise and catchy soundtrack it actually seems quite fun, and we hope we can get our hands on it soon enough.

In the meantime, you can read Sean's first impressions and be jealous over the fact he's played it, or watch an utterly crazy gameplay video:

[via usk.de]

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User Comments (63)

pixelman

#4

pixelman said:

def on_arrival(wiiware_game):
if wiiware_game.title == "Muscle March": pass

Djungelurban

#5

Djungelurban said:

WHAT?! Maybe there's still hope for Pole then... I know that's Sega but maybe? I still really want it...

DazzaAdmin

#6

Dazza said:

Oh yus, this is brilliant news. Since reading Sean's preview I have been hankering to play this slice of Japanese madness! :-p

The_Fox

#9

The_Fox said:

Not for me. It is nice to see gay fellas get something, and props on Namco for having the balls to release something so bizarre outside of Japan.

Stevie

#10

Stevie said:

Wow, Nintendo have excelled themselves in the past few days, first news of the black Wii and Classic controller Pro coming to the EU, now this, great news !!

odd69

#11

odd69 said:

Hahaha are you guys that insecure? It's so funny to watch, i think i laugh everytime i watch a video on this game.It's clearly meant to be laughed at.I guess you just have to have a warped sense of humor like myself. Why do you have to be gay to enjoy this fox?

RaylaxStaff

#13

Raylax said:

It's like Sexy Poker but hotter.
Check out that polar bear. Mmm.

...Sometimes, I sicken even myself.

Rhansley64

#14

Rhansley64 said:

One word: GAY unless your a girl i understand but at least this might inspired SEGA to bring Pole's Big Adventure outside of Japan.

Hoffkage

#15

Hoffkage said:

I prayed for this game to come overseas. Oh, thanks, Great Lord of Muscle Men

JoeDiddley

#19

JoeDiddley said:

Just when I gave up all hope :)
If it does get released then maybe Tomenasanner with it's worldwide leader boards has a chance too.

Stevie

#20

Stevie said:

Some people are obviously insecure about their sexuality if they believe a computer game is "gay". Get a grip.

Philip_J_ReedStaff

#23

Philip_J_Reed said:

I just found this comment of mine on Sean's Fist Impressions article:

"if this comes out in NA and it's LESS THAN 1000 points, I will hold a Mario Kart Tournament and gift it to the winner. That's the Chicken Brutus guarantee."

Hmm...will I turn out to be a bird of his word?

Ren

#24

Ren said:

Wow, this is hilarious and actually looks like it's really fun.
Some of you need to cool it, and have a sense of humor. If ridiculously muscle-bound men means gay and that scares you than you'll need to get rid of most of the other fighting games and comic books you've ever owned as well.
The only difference that seems to bother anyone is that they're being silly instead of killing each other. If you have to have that to feel secure than you'll just miss out.
I sure hope this makes it State side, how could we lobby for it here, it actually seems like a very nicely polished arcade style.

The_Fox

#25

The_Fox said:

@post 12 odd69
"Why do you have to be gay to enjoy this fox?"
Oh, you don't have to be gay to enjoy it (although I'm sure it does help). I wasn't really that serious. I just wonder how many uptight whiners are going to wander into the thread and complain about the game.

WolfRamHeart

#28

WolfRamHeart said:

@Chicken Brutus: LOL! I love your new avatar!:)

I think this game looks freaking hilarious and fun! I am definitely getting it if it comes to the United States! Awesome news indeed!

theblackdragonAdmin

#29

theblackdragon said:

does anyone recall if this game had wi-fi multiplayer? a NL tournament of muscle-bound champions would make for hilarity. :3

odd69

#33

odd69 said:

@fox LOL yes i bet it does help just a little. I was actually wondering how many would complain myself. i doubt it will sell good in America

WillhamBoyGeniu

#34

WillhamBoyGeniu said:

My big brother calls me gay all the time for no reason; if he saw me playing this then he won't let me live it down. Even my parents have doubts that im straight so no sell for me sorry.

odd69

#35

odd69 said:

@Ezekiel blow them all a kiss that will teach them . Oh and if these were girls running around it just wouldn't be the same.

Starwolf_UK

#36

Starwolf_UK said:

If it does get released then maybe Tomenasanner with it's worldwide leader boards has a chance too.
A game called TOMENA SANNER has popped up in rating boards/release schedules so I think it has a better than good chance :)

Golgo

#37

Golgo said:

Want this. Looks like the best slice of Japanese lunacy since Katamari.

Chunky_Droid

#38

Chunky_Droid said:

Consider me part of your tournament chicken! Now to fix my avatar :D

EDIT: Just remembered, Soda's already a big muscle bound gentleman with a bad mo'. So no change necessary! :D

MayhemStaff

#40

Mayhem said:

Frankly I'm a little stunned, but then we did get Tingle as well. Sadly though I won't be able to buy unless it comes to the US...

SevenForce

#41

SevenForce said:

awesome now all we need is for SEGA to bring Poles Big Adventure to the west and I can die a happy man :)

WillhamBoyGeniu

#42

WillhamBoyGeniu said:

Poles Big Adventure.. well first the game needs an English speaking narrator to tell you descriptions of the jokes you encounter. Second not much jokes make sense or funny (although the mushroom that makes you grow till you die did and was funny). Third I doubt they Sega will put effort in making this English or change some stuff for a 500pt game.

#43

said:

Hey if it comes and costs less than 1000 pts I'll get it. Weird games that you cannot find anywhere is the goal of wiiware anyhoo =D

Djungelurban

#44

Djungelurban said:

@Ezekiel
They don't need to do a thing... Ok, they do need to translate it but if we don't understand all the jokes due to cultural differences... Well, boohoo for us. Maybe I'll end up learning something new. Besides, half the charm of something like that is going "WTF?!" at the sheer weirdness of it.

KnucklesSonic8

#46

KnucklesSonic8 said:

Oh boy...

So they're willing to localize THIS stupidness but not the VCA titles I've been dying for?! Smart move there, NB. >_>

Ryuuga

#48

Ryuuga said:

Wow, never expected for this game to be released outside Japan! LOL it`ll be very interesting to see if it gets fans.

The gameplay is very interesting, the theme for the game is a bit disturbing but I might get it if it comes to America

Omega

#51

Omega said:

@Bulbasaurus Rex (#28):
I'll correct that for you:

If WiiWareGame = "Muscle March" Then
. . Buy_WiiPointsCard 1000
. . Get_MuscleMarch Immediately:=true
. . Loop:
. . Call HaveFun()
. . Goto Loop
End If

(Sub Procedures and Functions not included.) ;-)

Sean_Aaron

#53

Sean_Aaron said:

I'm beside myself. Really fantastic news. There is no WiFi and you don't even sign your initials, though there are local leaderboards. Multi-player is turn-based -- this was originally an arcade prototype after all.

This is certainly not the "gayest game ever" (that would be Ai Cho Aniki, the sequel to Cho Aniki which is only on the Japanese VCA -- and is AMAZING), but it is a lot of fun. I defy anyone playing this not to exaggerate the poses beyond what is required.

Shake that can, muscleman!

Philip_J_ReedStaff

#54

Philip_J_Reed said:

"There is no WiFi and you don't even sign your initials, though there are local leaderboards. Multi-player is turn-based."

Drat. Looks like we'll have to save our official tournament for NLCon...

Twilight_Crow

#57

Twilight_Crow said:

It looks fun, and the chases and characters are just hilarious :D, I'd give it a chance.
And since we are programing, how about C:

typedef typegame Wiiware;
#include PlayingGames.h //Sub procedures and functions in here :P
void main()
{If(Wiiware==Muscle_March && Wipoints>=enough)
{ Get(Wiiware);
while(playing(Wiiware)==1)
{ Havefun(); }
} }
//LOL XD

Omega

#58

Omega said:

@Twilight Crow: Ha ha. All right. I admit that your version is much better than mine, because there is no endless loop. :-)

Golgo

#59

Golgo said:

the amount of 'it looks gay' references here are a bit sad. looks no gayer than the real man's man marcus fenix bonding with his gears buddies, to me. anyway, why not? i play games as escapism, and this slice of otaku camp is way outside my day to day. cannot wait!

reborn

#63

reborn said:

I'm wondering if the songs which are included in the game will continue be in japanese or not. If they're only tunes, I'll pass on it.

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