HappyMaskedGuy

@Savino Neither did I. Zero freedom, hackneyed writing, dreadful character names.

Aloy?
Rost?

Laughably bad.

Christ, those are horrible...

I can’t think of anything I’d rather see less than these Zelda/ Horizon concepts.

shudder

Literally any game character in the history of gaming, and they chose another generic sword fighter Fire Emblem character. A bloody cardboard one at that.

Inspiring stuff.

@RickD When this comes to America the blocks will be 4 feet off the ground and there’ll be CPR Toads everywhere.

@NotTelevision There’s a pretty big gulf between what you described and ANY kind of footage of an actual attraction.

This was all CG rubbish. It’s the equivalent of a cinematic game trailer. It’s safe to assume that the park is underwhelming if they haven’t actually shown a single second of it in the park’s own trailer, for crying out loud. Isn’t the place pretty much built?

I didn’t see a single shot of reality here.

So we have:

-Terrible ‘music’
-Mobile Gaming
-An Emphasis on Mario 3D World for some reason?

and no actual footage, just CG nonsense.

I think it’s safe to say this will be deeply underwhelming. It looks like everything I hate about Nintendo’s casual market, which I ain’t.

You can forget your dreams of fan appealing Zelda or Starfox based attractions. This park seems to be all about those casual coins. Did anyone see an actual ride or attraction?

As one of many who invested money in the Wii U/ Switch consoles AND paid a full game price for Mario Kart 8, it’s difficult not to feel totally betrayed by Nintendo right now.

So many updates and free goodies for players of a game that requires zero investment, whilst leaving deserving fans out in the cold.

I’m becoming increasingly angry about this. There’s no reason that Mario Kart 8 can’t get some updates for PAYING CUSTOMERS.

Anyone who believes that mobile will be good for Nintendo are ridiculously naive.

@Alienfreaks04 As in ‘Murder She Wrote’?

You’re well off the reservation and into the shrubs matey. But that’s okay, it happens to us all sometimes.

@AnnoyingFrenzy Aw, heck. I think my heart has grown two sizes.

@Eel doesn’t like people having perfectly civilised

CONGER-sations...

Oh hoo hoo! Get it?

Coz he’s an eel!

gleeful laughter

@AnnoyingFrenzy That’s a relief. Thanks.

@AnnoyingFrenzy Lol, I’m telling you, buddy.

If you want to call me a troll for your own sense of security, go ahead.

@Kalmaro ‘You being able to comment here is a luxury and not your right.’

Waw, talk about arrogance—nay—borderline contempt for NLife customers with opinions differing from the company line.

Good to see you clarify that publicly.

@AnnoyingFrenzy Nintendo Life doesn’t need me to bring down its reputation, you can rest assured.

I’m not a troll, per se. But I am contentious where I see necessary.

@Kalmaro What a ridiculous strawman comparison.

As I already asked:

When did I break your rules?

@Kalmaro At what point did I break the rules exactly?

You’re missing the distinction between breaking the rules and criticising the rules.

And honestly, whoever ‘liked’ your previous comment needs to reassess their priorities in terms of their rights and responsibilities as consumers.

I’ll complain about nonsense if I see fit. Stick your site rules.

@Kalmaro Does this site sell its goods (articles) and generate profit via revenue it accrues from advertising?

If so, that would make me a customer. As a customer, I will retain my right to contest the services being sold to me.

Go try taping someone else’s mouth.

I was pleasantly surprised to see an actual videogame win. Congratulations, Sekiro.

@Kalmaro Unrelated, but does site policy also entail clickbait articles and pretend news?
You’re such a wee teacher’s pet.

@NotTelevision What exactly is ‘pretentious’ about my criticism?

Do you actually know the meaning of the word?

Just my two cents on this article:

1. That subheading is pretentious and borderline redundant with regard to the game being reviewed. ‘To languish, decline, or weaken.’ Hmm, Okay... But in context to what? As opposed to BoTW? Surely that’s an unfair standard to set the bar?

2. ‘Initially, we thought Pine was going to be a very pleasant surprise. It definitely doesn't bode well from the outset when the initial load takes just under three minutes. In situations like that, you can't help but wonder if the game has crashed. But no, patience was a virtue and in the time it took to fry a quick egg we were immersed in Pine's ambitious, Breath of the Wild-esque world.‘

Interesting that in criticising the game’s opening, the writer makes such a hash of the opening to his review. There’s far too many contradictions going on here. It’s further exacerbated by, ‘After that long, long loading screen you'd be forgiven for thinking it'd be worth the wait aesthetically, but Pine is an ugly, grungy mess to look at. It's like they couldn't quite fit the square peg of a game into the round hole of the Nintendo Switch, so they went at it with a hammer and, while it went in, they left it in a right state.’

Is the game impressive, or not? Is it ambitious, or is it a mess? A consistency of opinion is required here.

Oh, and one more thing: that game’s logo is unbelievably sterile and dull—ironic, considering all the connotations of freedom we associate with

Pine (noun)

A FRICKIN’ TREE.

@Dahn_ I might whine if I was dumb enough to have spent money on it. But alas, no.

Ah yes, that line which LoTR is famous for:

‘All hands on deck’.

That tagline is honestly the best you could come up with?

Weak.

@Anti-Matter Your ‘unconventional’ taste is a genuine human wonder. Whenever I see something and think, “Who the hell buys that stuff?!”

I think of you.

That blackbird’s look of dead, lobotomised soullessness in the cover-art must be a kind of emotional projection from the developers.

Those eyes say:
“Have mercy and kill me now. There’s nothing left of me to save—I sold it all.”

Another example of Nintendo Life ‘News’.

Yes, because the adult female body is something to be ashamed of, aka ‘bad’, and therefore is unsuitable for kids.

The human race needs to move forward. Japan in particular, has a serious problem with censorship and sexism.

If nothing else, I’m pretty sure that exposure to human breasts is a perfectly natural part of healthy development in children. Even ‘good’ ones.

I’m about half-way through the game, and I’m incredibly impressed with it. Gorgeously detailed, charming, packed with humour and creativity. One of the best games I’ve played for a while. Love it.

@Jfarriol ‘Less sexualised’?

What on earth are you babbling about?

That’s very nice.

Now how about a new Earthbound game? Or a proper remake?

@Jeaz Yeah, I don’t think something looks good, then defend my opinion. How dramatic.

I don’t remember asking you what you think. Take your juvenile insults elsewhere.

@johnvboy You can argue all you want, but it won’t make those visuals any less horrible.

@Quarth Yeah, I figured that concept would evade you. Good day to you.

@Quarth Ugh. Nice integrity you got there.

@Quarth So what’s with the snarky comment?

@Quarth Oh, I’m sorry. Did my opinion upset you?

@locky-mavo Yeah those were awful.

Considering that it looks like it should have gone to Specsavers, the Switch version isn’t all that impressive. Perhaps in an esoteric, novelty way— like a stamp-sized copy of War and Peace. But it looks absolutely horrible.

I was shocked when I saw the low resolution, the beyond muddy textures, and the embarrassingly frequent and obvious pop-in.

So thanks, but no thanks.

The fact that Nintendo Life hasn’t reviewed a new first party Nintendo game until well after its release is pretty fishy to me.

Why so late? Is it because it’s mediocre?

1. Dino Crisis

2. Zack and Wiki

-End.

I’m not convinced that the developers have actually watched any of the Universal Monster movies. Apart from the design of the Monster from the Black Lagoon, all the other characters and backgrounds look like unrelated generic assumptions.

Considering Blizzard’s history of unethical conduct of late, including the horrendous treatment of its staff; not paying tax in the UK; and its willingness to sacrifice human rights for blood soaked Chinese money, I am deeply disappointed by the apathy shown here on the site.

Blizzard do not deserve to be promoted on this site, and the NLife community absolutely should boycott all Blizzard releases on Switch—as should Nintendo.

Nintendo Life should be ashamed. You are promoting and aiding the degradation of freedom of speech by promoting this game. Hope it’s worth it for those transitory clicks.

@DonSerrot It’ll get cancelled.

Very unprofessional and inconsiderate.

Clearly Blizzard want to avoid any potential PR hiccups, ie, anything whatsoever related to their disgusting grovelling to Winnie the Pooh.

Support Hong Kong. Democracy is not for sale. Don’t buy Overwatch on Switch.

Exclusive in-game footage https://i.redd.it/xokc15f6m6431.jpg

@Wavey84 Your comments are...weird.

You care enough about the game to go on a lengthy rant about it (even though you haven’t played it yet) but then simultaneously accuse people who are looking forward to the game of being ‘fanboys’.

I’m also not sure if you know what Luigi’s Mansion actually is— it’s always been aimed at a universal audience. Luigi is the lead, for crying out loud. How frightening did you expect it to be? From what I’ve seen, the game harks more back to the classic Monster movie days in a cartoony, colourful, imaginative way. It’s not going to be Blair Witch with boos.

I think you need to stop drinking your own Kool-Aid buddy.

@Stocksy and Capcom up in a tree...

Hardly surprising, but disappointing nonetheless.

Remember when Capcom made graphically astounding games like Resident Evil Remake and RE4 on the Gamecube?

If they care, developers can make games punch way above the weight limitations of hardware. This is just laziness and sloppy porting. It’ll be shockingly overpriced to boot.

Don’t buy it.

One of the greatest games of all time??

Ha! Aye, totally...

Anyone who thinks so must only play Sonic games—none of which rise above the 70% mark. Sonic is a disaster of a franchise.

@westman98

Nintendo wouldn’t alter the entire structure of their pre-existing games to do such a thing. Making a game micro-transactional requires such a mechanic to built in from the foundation. To change all of their games to suddenly utilise lootboxes would be weird and expensive, for little reward and a LOT of negative press.

They could only reasonably implement such mechanics in new games.

@westman98 Yes—because such things have never affected big first party games by other publishers before...

Nintendo’s forays into mobile and micro transactional gaming have been tentative up til now because Nintendo is an overtly cautious company. But they are nonetheless governed, like most companies, by the whims of shareholders. This isn’t ‘fear-mongering’. It’s pointing out very obvious trends that affect ALL companies. The biggest being:

‘What’s that? MORE money you say??’