Review: Zombii Attack (WiiWare)

iinsufferable

Zombii Attack is a very silly game. Its main mechanic — firing zombies out of a giant slingshot — is strange enough, but even more preposterous is the fact that this game actually got published on WiiWare. The game is so horrendous that the campy feel and OK music don't even come close to saving it from its abominable controls and broken mechanics.

Your goal is to help Dr. Z find a cure to the undead infection. This is done — of course — by collecting differently coloured zombies in a giant basket hung from a helicopter. Using your enormous slingshot, you pull zombies into your tractor beam with the B button, aim them at the basket with the Wii Remote and fire with the A button. You can also fire an assortment of junk at them to keep them at bay. The undead range in size, with larger ones taking more damage to put down. Killing zombies and finishing levels nets you money which you can use to re-enforce your barricade and buy better junk to fling, and if the undead break through your barrier, you fail. This will probably never happen though, due to the terribly overpowered tractor beam.

While many zombies take several hits to go down, oddly you can just endlessly use your tractor beam to kill them instantly. Even if you simply drop them right in front of your slingshot, they die. So just hold the B button down constantly and you can easily kill any of them. This takes almost all the strategy out of the game, and you'll only need to switch to weapons on a few occasions, such as when a stack of enemies randomly show up.

That's the other problem: randomness. The game randomly chooses the colour of zombies that come running down the screen. Since you have to collect a specific number of colours of zombies in each level, this means you may end up waiting for an eternity for the right type to show up. Worst of all, sometimes they never do. The developers decided to let the helicopter run out of fuel eventually, meaning you'll sometimes have to restart a level at no fault of your own.

On top of all this, the game is terribly ugly, with jagged environments, gross textures and a terrible presentation. A hilarious example of this is when you beat the level, your character looks like he levitates up to the helicopter in one big, awkward jump. The menus even have a slight delay, making the game periodically look like it's frozen. The only non-grating aspect of this game is the music. It has some pretty decent guitar riffs and some spooky effects. But, with only a few different tracks, they get old quick.

There are a few odd levels where you hurl explosives at buildings until they're destroyed or use the D-Pad to "steer" a car to hit zombies, but they are so short, easy and mindless that they add little to the game.

The most infuriating thing about the game is undoubtedly the controls. Let's say you have your reticule aimed at the left side of the screen, aimed up for the helicopter's basket. Once in a while the game will mess up and just send your zombie flying straight up into the air. If you've been waiting for ten minutes for that one zombie to show up, then he shoots up off the screen and Dr. Z informs you he's run out of gas and leaving, you'll want to eat your own brains.

Conclusion

Treat Zombii Attack like you would an undead plague: avoid it at all costs. The controls sporadically decide not to work, the graphics are terrible and gameplay revolves around the least enjoyable activity in gaming: waiting. Even if you do suck any fun from this game, it's over in a flash. Save yourself the frustration and the 500 Nintendo Points. There are far better ways to enjoy the zombie apocalypse.

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