(WiiWare)

Kung Fu Funk (WiiWare)

Game Review

Kung Fu Funk Review

USA USA Version

Posted by Jon Wahlgren

Kung Fu Fail

No wonder people hate the Wii.

It's been four years since the world's first real stab at a motion-based console launched, bringing the excellent Wii Sports along to define the grammar of the innovative controller. It didn't take long for me-too developers to begin pumping out cheap minigame compilations that totally ignored why Wii Sports worked as well as it did and instead figured its audience would settle for the novelty of flailing about in a sort of Russian Roulette with their televisions. As a result, "waggle" became the epithet of motion controls and the console itself, a label neither has yet shaken.

Four years later, in the crazy future of 2010, where developers have created viable gaming applications of the technology, in a world where MotionPlus even exists, these compilations are inexcusable.

Like a thwock to your sanity comes Kung Fu Funk: Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting!, a title centered loosely around Carl Douglas' martial arts delusions brought to you by the folks behind Dragon Master Spell Caster. Wrapping everything around a mildly charming 1970's beige/brown kung fu movie theme may trick you into thinking that, somehow, everything is going to be OK this time, but once you start one of its games, any of them, you'll be waggled out of your coma of stupid that somehow let you buy this game.

It doesn't really matter which one you pick because they're all largely the same, asking you to swing the controller in some arbitrary direction to fight or jump or inexplicably make yaks sing. Half the time the game doesn't even seem to recognize where you're swinging. The Sneak minigame, which asks you to move the Remote forward and backward to move and stop, is broken beyond belief.

We'd delve further into the graphics that still have stray white pixels around the sprites or the fact that the one minigame that scrolls stutters like a 386 PC, but there's just no point in throwing salt in the game's wounds. But hey, at least it includes the song it takes its name after! Not even the chart-destroying Just Dance can make that claim.

Conclusion

If you really want some 70's kung fu action, do yourself a favor: plunk down the cost of the Douglas tune and jump around your home, Wii Remote in hand, going "hiyaaaa!"

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Game Trailer

Kung Fu Funk takes players back to when martial arts had style, and colors were either vibrant or beige. Visit nintendolife.com for more info

User Comments (39)

BulbasaurusRex

#3

BulbasaurusRex said:

Stickmen Studios, I should do the world a favor and cap you like Old Yeller. You're just about as useless as JPEGs to Helen Keller.

Captain_Toad

#10

Captain_Toad said:

stickmen studios, that's twice in a row.

Didn't expect this to be good either but 1/10? All because of mindless waggle that plagues the console for almost half a decade. SURELY, the people would've learned their lesson by now.

Off Topic: Has there ever been a 0 out of 10 in your reviews?

Philip_J_ReedStaff

#12

Philip_J_Reed said:

I knew I remembered Stickmen Studios from somewhere. It just now dawned on me that they brought us the...uh...unforgettable Dragon Master Spell Caster.

Yeah.

And apparently, this was even worse.

Yeah.

Can't wait for the next release in their Totally Broken Garbage series.

HanuKwanzMasBif

#13

HanuKwanzMasBif said:

I saw an ad for this on the Nintendo Channel, and I was thinking "What the heck? How is this fun?" BEFORE knowing about the bad controls.

jbrodack

#26

jbrodack said:

After seeing the trailer I knew this would be a 1. The theme isn't so bad but making a crappy minigame collection instead of well a kung fu beat em up was a terrible idea. Stickmen studios really needs to rethink things.

Yanagi

#30

Yanagi said:

When I saw the video for this game on the Nintendo Channel, with all those people impotently flailing their hands about, I knew something was terribly wrong.

What I didn't know was that this was made by the guys who made (ruined?) Dragon Master Spell Caster. For some reason, Stickmen Studios seem to take interesting game concepts and turn them into useless shovelware. What they need to rethink is their career path, because video game design is getting them nowhere.

Darel18

#35

Darel18 said:

"No wonder people hate the Wii.

Four years later, in the crazy future of 2010, where developers have created viable gaming applications of the technology, in a world where MotionPlus even exists, these compilations are inexcusable."

I LOL at this hahahaha

NovemberJoy

#39

NovemberJoy said:

Geez, until I found out about this site, this game sounded PROMISING. I can't believe I thought that about a game that got a 1. I never did get around to getting it, which is really a good thing. I decided to watch a trailer, and it even LOOKS bad. Thanks to Jon for taking it upon himself to play this so we wouldn't have to. People might say he took a bullet, but it's more like he took a Banzai Bill to the forehead.

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