(WiiWare)

Game Review

Girlfriends Forever: Magic Skate Review

Europe PAL Version

Posted by James Newton

Thin ice

Let's get right to the point: Girlfriends Forever: Magic Skate is bad. Really, really bad. What seems like a perfect combination of ice skating and dressing-up on the surface reveals itself to be so cripplingly simplistic that not even children would want to play it.

At the beginning you choose one of the bug-eyed girls to play throughout your adventure, the main differences being the character models and tricks performed. Once selected, you pick one uninspired stage after another, performing "tricks" to win the Golden Skate and thus become the Skating Queen.

The gameplay is simple as they come: four icons move along the screen and you must execute the motion or button-press displayed to succeed. Do this ten or twelve times a stage and move onto the next stage, where you do the same actions but in a different order. As well as using four buttons, at times you're asked to draw a circle with the Remote or Nunchuk, but you'll soon discover you can shake the controller instead, squeezing any form of skill out of the game.

As you proceed from one dull arena – a land made of sweets! A Christmas stage! – to the next, the difficulty never changes. It's always four actions per trick at the same speed, and only the final stage offers different animations, though the same inputs are required to activate them. You can complete the game in about thirty minutes and even younger children will feel they've not been challenged in any way.

Then there's the dress-up portion of the game. As you execute tricks you earn dresses, headbands and accessories for your Chucky look-a-like, and predictably these make no difference to her abilities: it's all just for show. There's also something unsettlingly creepy in the way the girl turns to look over her shoulder at you, but young girls will likely have no such problems, instead being disappointed that completing the game unlocks a pair of golden skates you can't even wear.

The game doesn't fare much better in the graphical stakes, with ugly characters skating around worse environments. The music is even worse, with MIDI-quality tunes that grate within seconds, the ditty that plays after you complete a stage being the worst offender.

Conclusion

Girlfriends Forever: Magic Skate is a stinker. Even children will turn their noses up at the lack of challenge, extremely repetitive gameplay and poor production values. Steer well clear.

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User Comments (36)

Chrono_Cross

#1

Chrono_Cross said:

Looks like fat Cabbage Patch kids on roller skates in Wonderland.

Can't wait for a U.S. release. :P

Link79

#2

Link79 said:

Sheesh, Some of the things that get released on Wiiware. I bet even a five year old girl wouldn't like this.

DazzaAdmin

#5

Dazza said:

@timp29 I know James well enough by now to instinctively know that he was the right man for the job! :-p

dogpuke

#6

dogpuke said:

Hello, Dog Puke. Try posting your comment again without profanely insulting our reviewer. Thanks! --The Mods

sillygostly

#9

sillygostly said:

Sexist pigs (sows?). What about one for us boyfriends, eh? Boys like referring to their fellow male friends as their "boyfriends" and spinning around on their tippie-toes too. .

SuperMarioFan96

#11

SuperMarioFan96 said:

I wasn't going to click on this because I knew I'd never get it, but I saw that first sentence and just knew I had to read it. That's how you reel 'em in James. :D

Thanks for doing reviews like this guys. For one, they're hilarious to read. :D And second, I'm glad you still review all downloadable titles, regardless of how horrid you know they'll be. I know how painful it can be. :P

Xkhaoz

#15

Xkhaoz said:

Owch. Another 1. But still, I doubt that he target audience would figure out how to DL this. :P

MetalMario

#16

MetalMario said:

This is why shovelware for little kids sells. All you have to do is put a shiny colorful picture on a box or channel and they'll buy it.

SilverBaretta

#19

SilverBaretta said:

If I ever end up working at Gamestop or some other game specialty store, I'm going to make sure no one buys horrible games like this. If they're buying Nintendo Points, I'll ask them what game they're buying, and then steer them away from any junk. Sure, I may get fired for purposefully cutting profits, but still......

theblackdragonAdmin

#20

theblackdragon said:

@SB: an admirable cause, but you're just asking for trouble, lol. i know if i had someone asking me what i was about to buy all the time, i'd be very tempted to tell them to mind their own business. :3

Sylverstone

#21

Sylverstone said:

Ow.... my eyes. :o

This one deserves to go six feet under, with some heavy duty nails in that coffin.

Stuffgamer1

#22

Stuffgamer1 said:

@GameLord08: And how many female reviewers does this site have? I only recall seeing two; one is American and I haven't seen the other around in a while.:P

@SilverBlacktail: Not only is TBD right and that's a bad idea, but it's not even something that would come up very often. Most people who would be likely to buy this kind of trash don't go online with their Wii's and buy points cards to begin with.:P

You WOULD be well suited to read reviews and steer people clear from crappy RETAIL games, though, provided you had a good alternative to suggest. For example: Pick Style Savvy instead of any other less good fashion game! I've done that before, and the customers tend to thank you for it.:)

LordJumpMad

#23

LordJumpMad said:

I wonder if the Game Desigers who Made this Game didn't kill them self after they were done making this Shovle ware , or did they just die little inside.....

Chris720

#27

Chris720 said:

This has to be the funniest review I have ever read! James has done it again! :D

But I feel some pain within... WiiWare is dieing because of this rubbish... Nintendo, please delete all shovelware of WiiWare, thanks!

Xkhaoz

#28

Xkhaoz said:

@SB Yeah, whenever I'm at a store in the games section, I always want to help people pick the right game and steer them away from bad games, but I usually don't because they'll probably ignore me or something. :P

YoshiSage

#29

YoshiSage said:

Untitled

Sigh. WiiWare has so much potential, but it's being almost literally crapped on by elephant ****, to such a point that you start getting that feeling where you don't know whether to laugh or cry. This one doesn't belong with the ordinary garbage. It belongs with the really smelly garbage. Curse your faces and your ineptitude, Kolkom. We will not forgive you any time soon for joining the other incompetent developers in cluttering up WiiWare with manure.

SilverBaretta

#30

SilverBaretta said:

@tbd_and_stuffgamer: I know, I know. I just wish I could so something to help people get a better entertainment experience. And Stuff, I was actually edging more towards retail games with that comment.

@Xkhaoz: Yeah, I'm always kind of afraid of that too, but I find that if you look like you know what you're doing/talking about, they will come to you.

Stuffgamer1

#32

Stuffgamer1 said:

@SilverBlacktail: Well, if you meant retail games to begin with, then it was a very good idea. Most "casual" GameStop customers appreciate employee help, trusting that we know more about this stuff than they do (a fair enough assumption, of course).

No doubt they'll come to you, too. I've been asked if I work in a GameStop that I was shopping in, while wearing shorts and a T-shirt. Don't ask me how that works. I WAS able to help them, though, so it's not like they picked somebody useless.:D

Alias

#33

Alias said:

@DarkEdi

BoyFriends Forever: Magic Vomit

Control a chunky, bug-eyed hero that needs to find new ways to vomit, an experiment led by the Power Planet Posse. The winner receives a medal that is immediately taken from them and chucked into a toxic slime pit, which is then investigated by two bare-chested space warriors who get devoured by the monster, who you, the hero must eat to barf up the juiciest vomit that you'll ever encounter, winning the useless prize.

MikeyMikeMike

#34

MikeyMikeMike said:

I just don't get it...the big N supposedly screens what sells in the wii shop. Not every game is bound to be great but do they really make anything on stuff like this? With or without a review I can't imagine that anyone would look at this game and not immediately think that it's complete garbage.

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