(WiiWare)

Blood Beach (WiiWare)

Game Review

Blood Beach Review

USA USA Version

Posted by James Newton

Total misfire

Usually when a game is released with so little marketing it's enough to raise suspicions about its quality, but enough excellent WiiWare titles have emerged seemingly from nowhere over the years to make us reconsider those age-old presumptions. Then along comes a title like Blood Beach to remind us exactly why they existed in the first place.

Placing you on one of the Solomon Islands during the Second World War, you play an unnamed gunner entrusted with bringing down wave upon wave of Japanese planes, battleships, tanks and soldiers that all saunter past your neat encampment on the so-called "blood beach." You cannot move: you can only aim with the Remote pointer (or control stick on Classic Controller or GameCube pad, if you're so inclined) and fire one of your weapons, varying from submachine guns to grenades and anti-vehicle guns. Each mission consists of waves of targets homing in on your position and you gunning them out of the sky, sand or sea: when everything's dead, you move onto the next mission where you do exactly the same thing but perhaps, if you're really lucky, in a different order.

You quickly come to realise that Blood Beach is incredibly repetitive, partly due to its lack of identity. Although you're scored after each mission, the game never brings the kind of intensity that often characterises score attack games such as Geometry Wars: although there's a slight amount of skill in hitting moving targets, it succeeds in the impossible by turning shooting planes from the sky into something interminably dull. Likewise, although it claims a mission structure, the mission briefings all amount to the same thing: the Japanese are coming, defend the island. There's no sense of progression or variety, just lots of laborious shooting; there's only so many times you can sink the same battleship before it loses any sort of satisfaction. This is in fact a real achievement, as the battleships laughably capsize like cartoon boats, going end-up before sinking in a perfect vertical line.

The rest of the graphical presentation is about as accomplished: nondescript textures, a lack of detail and some appalling issues with scale make the game look worse than many PSOne titles, let alone WiiWare releases. The enemy soldiers that mount the beach are tiny toys, and even when the tanks come right up to your position they look so small you could step on them, making every target just as impotent as the next.

As the latest in an inauspicious line of iPhone to WiiWare conversions, Blood Beach has no place on home console: designed for short stretches of game time, on the big screen it's horribly repetitive and offers next-to no improvements over its portable origins. The fact it's being sold for 1,000 Nintendo Points is tantamount to criminal and nobody in their right mind should consider purchasing this repetitive shambles of a shooter.

Conclusion

WiiWare is two years old now and frankly we shouldn't be seeing games of Blood Beach's quality these days: horrendously obsolete design that went out with the Ark, laughable attempts at scale and realism as well as some of the poorest graphics and sound on WiiWare mark this one out as a real dud.

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User Comments (28)

Philip_J_ReedStaff

#1

Philip_J_Reed said:

Let's hope nobody downloads this garbage when deciding between it and Pearl Harbor.

Of course, I have no way of knowing how good Pearl Harbor will actually be, but from what I've seen it can't be anywhere NEAR this bad.

pixelman

#3

pixelman said:

Echo Chicken's comment. Shame that developers have the balls to put out this kind of sh*t. Quite infuriating.

RaylaxStaff

#4

Raylax said:

"the Japanese are coming, defend the island"

THE JAPANESE ARE COMING! THE JAPANESE ARE COMING!

/me dives for cover.

sfog

#8

sfog said:

The vid on the Nintendo Channel made it look pretty bad, so I'm not surprised by this score.

accc

#10

accc said:

How the hell did this manage a 2?! The review makes it seem like there isn't a single positive aspect to this game.

Sean_Aaron

#15

Sean_Aaron said:

There is no way Discolight will be worse than this. At least it sounds somewhat playable, but seriously, if you're going to port your iPhone game, do try to remember that the Wii ISN"T an iPhone and playing in your lounge isn't like PLAYING AN iPHONE GAME ON A TRAIN!

Seriously, how hard is this people?

JayArr

#17

JayArr said:

But the banner on this review is so awesome!! I had high hopes before I clicked the review.

jbrodack

#18

jbrodack said:

Yeah this looked terrible especially at 1000 points though would be overpriced at 500 points too.

Hardy83

#21

Hardy83 said:

I remember when Reggie was talking about how WiiWare and DSiWare will be about quality and not quantity. That games will be better overall than say the App store or other services....Yeah....I don't remember him saying anything about their online content recently.

Gogata

#22

Gogata said:

lol I hate it when there are high price games that suck **** ****! Even more than the 200 points DSi Ware rip-off titles...

Sean_Aaron

#23

Sean_Aaron said:

@Hardy: I think building in support for Flash was a big mistake as well. I don't have a problem with porting games from other systems, but it's nice to take the time to tailor your game for another platform beyond the controls. Building in support for these 3rd party APIs just seems to remove any incentive to do this and frankly I'd rather miss out on a few quality multi-platform releases if it also means getting less lazy ports like this.

sssmit

#25

sssmit said:

Very fun game. Looks decent on my plasma too. I'm glad I bought it before reading this review and comments, I like it.

BrazCanaMan

#27

BrazCanaMan said:

I can't believe anyone (my friend) would waste 10 bucks on this when you can probably find beachhead, which is much better, for free on the internet. These iPhone to Wii cash-ins are so shamelessly overpriced. One of the few (very few) iPhone to console games I really enjoyed was Twin Blades on Xbox Indie Games and that game was at least updated for the xbox and priced at 240 MSP (3 bucks).

salty1264

#28

salty1264 said:

this is more like 3/10 i have but its a waste of 10$ its not bad of a game but awful price

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