Month Of Yoshi: Your Travel Guide To Yoshi's Island
Posted by Conor McMahon
Going anywhere nice this year?
Though we've finally shaken off the last of Winter's dreary cold here at Nintendo Life HQ, it's always tempting to consider taking a quick break somewhere bathed in sun and kalimba music.
In our search for the perfect spot, we've come across an old travel brochure that fits right in with the Month of Yoshi. What better way to get ready for the release of Yoshi's New Island than to learn all about the place itself?
Welcome to Yoshi’s Island!
If you've been dreaming of the perfect getaway or yearning for an exciting new adventure, we can promise you a pastel paradise like no other. Everything else, that’s a total variable, and all part of the fun!
On behalf of the island and its inhabitants; we welcome you, but first a few basics.
Preparation & Overview
When packing for the trip we recommend choosing clothing to suit the warm weather, but bear in mind that you will also want to prepare for freezing cold temperatures, and possible lunar travel should also be accounted for. Bring a big bag, actually.
We don't offer a structured plan for your vacation, we find it too restrictive. There’s a local mantra here on the Island — ‘’HRRUUUMMMMM’’ — which can be roughly translated to mean ‘’Flutter Along’’. It’s indicative of our free-form, non-traditional tourism plan, where we encourage making your own way. The lack of a solid commercial or residential infrastructure of any kind will really help immerse you in nature. After all, it’s easy to get away from the stress of city life when we don’t even have roads.
Transport is readily available here on Yoshi’s Island however, ensuring that you have every opportunity to explore. No need for a ticket, simply pop a morph bubble and turn into a car yourself. It just makes sense, doesn't it? Bubbles are available in train, car, helicopter, submarine and of course, mole tank varieties, catering to a variety of common needs and wants. You'll never walk again.
We know how important fine dining is to your holiday experience, so rest assured you won't have to clean a single dish while you're here! We cater to all tastes, just as long as that taste is distinctly fruity. Extensive menus boast such quality meals as ''bowl du grapes'', ''carved apple'' and ''strawberry''. Watermelons are a local delicacy, coming in an impressive variety of delicious flavours and temperatures. Spit more than just seeds with our fire and ice specials, available wherever they're grown. What better chef than Mother Nature herself?
Childminding services are available 24/7 with our automated bubble system. The patented design is guaranteed to make your precious child cry in terror, serving as the perfect alarm to help you find them again. We'd like to take this opportunity to remind you, please do not fall in spikes or lava. Thank you.
You'll be spoilt for choice during your time here, with something new to see around every corner. From sunny plains to some challenging mountain hikes, there's no shortage of wilderness for you to enjoy.
You'll make landing on our beautiful grassy plains, so stop a while and smell the tulips. Random chain-chomp attacks are fortunately on the decrease, so please do feel at ease, maybe even taking in a little spelunking through our extensive underground cave system. Your family will just love an afternoon in The Cave of the Mystery Maze, or alternatively, occupy your kids for a whole weekend by letting them loose in the The Very Loooooong Cave. While they're having the time of their lives, Mum and Dad can slip away to Lake Shore Paradise, where only the whimsical squawking of the goonies overhead can distract from our beautiful views.
Monkey World is an ever-popular location for visitors with just a little bit of a mischievous side, but we highly recommend consulting your doctor for the necessary shots before your visit. The Ukiki aren't shy, and we've had one formal complaint too many. As a special promotional offer, for a limited time every visitor will receive their very own monkey friend on arrival. No need to thank us, it’s your adorable nightmare of a problem now! Why not take them down for a quick swim in Monkey's Favourite Lake? Dive on in and we're sure it'll be your favourite lake in no time as well. (NOT A GUARANTEE)
You can soak in some culture and history while you're here as well, because we've got castles literally everywhere. With both maniacal and medieval design choices on display, the castles and forts of Yoshi's Island are a true wonder to behold. Skip all that bothersome mystery surrounding Stonehenge and the Pyramids; you can ask the owners of these monuments themselves what their secret purpose was. Salvo the Slime, Hookbill the Koopa – these trusted, upstanding residents are happy to have the company.
Thrill seekers too can rejoice in the one-of-a-kind opportunities that the island has to offer. The brave among you may want to take one of our many unguided night-time tours of boo’s fort, which is literally FULL of ghosts. We can proudly guarantee you a sighting, and in fact it’s a good rule of thumb to just keep looking at them, at all times. We'll prove to you they exist, but accept no responsibility in case you end up joining them.
It's no surprise that we're known for our colourful population of Yoshi, so be sure to visit for a complimentary cookie. Get there early, because they really really don’t last long. While many are content to laze around, a new addition worth checking out is the Mushroom Derby, an import from our overseas cousins and the most high octane combination of frustrating dance and 100m sprint you'll ever see. Rentals are charged at a gallon of fruit juice per 20 miles, but please, never abandon your Yoshi mid-jump. We value commitment on the island, no matter how high that ledge may be.
Yoshi aren't the only ones who thrive here, so you're sure to spot all kinds of other creatures during your stay. We’re known for our exotic plant life, and every locale is just teeming with new and unique species. Why not pick your special someone a blowhard and show them you care? For something with a little more bite, a bouquet of piranha plants would be a memorable souvenir or an exciting pet! Nipper plants are as cute as they are vicious, but those who value their fingers may want to admire from a distance. After all that fun you’ll probably want a nap, and we’ve got you covered there too. Crazee Dayzees are a common sight, and will help you catch some shut-eye whether you like it or not. You’re here to relax, and after a few notes even the most jagged mountainside will seem like a pile of comfy pillows! Sweet dreams.
Travelling alone? Not a problem! Keep loneliness at bay as man’s best friend comes bounding through the jungle at you with a need for constant affection and company. Don't worry about finding Poochy the dog, he'll find you. That coarse fur allows him to travel over any terrain, but can have the effect of rough sandpaper on human skin, so easy on those hugs! With both a monkey and a dog to take care of, you'll have the time of your life!
We know our competitors are eager to tempt potential holiday-goers as well, but there can be absolutely no substitute. Green Hill Zone is a dreadful place, highly prone to unsightly industrialisation. If you want quick-moving blue hedgehogs, look no further than The Cave of Harry Hedgehog because we've got dozens of them!
Pay no heed to rumours of so-called "bandits" or ridiculous, tribal-dancing "shy guys" either. We ‘’guarantee’’ you won't see a single one at any time during your stay. A few of our residents may be friendlier than others, but consider it a cheerful pat on the back, or on your wallet. The "Cave of the Bandits" is purely a coincidental name, we assure you. The only masked men you’re likely to find only want to play a little baseball!
As you leave the island to the melancholy goodbye of our Yoshi residents, any unfortunate incidents with lava monsters, wizards or junior tyrants will fade into a distant memory. The colour, the food, the music and the adventure, that’s what will stay in your heart long after you return home. Next time the urban nine-to-five lifestyle has you ready to give up, think back to our sun-drenched shores and consider visiting again, there’s so much left for you to see and do.
Thank you for your interest in Yoshi’s Island, for further information and booking details, please send a raven out to sea with your query.