They probably would feel the same way about Wario land Shake it. Can't die. nice visuals. same developer. Still puts a smile on your face. I kinda wonder what they will do next.
This is the exact quote from Entertainment Weekly's Dec.24/31 Issue: "There's a fine line between cute and grating, delightfully busy and irritatingly overwhelming-and for me, this hyperactively adorable side-scrolling puzzler crosses it- JJ"
They also rated Donkey Kong Country Returns 3rd worst! Look at their review:
"There's a fine line between tones of gray and wild color, extremely easy and bat sh** crazy hard, and unfortunately, this game crosses that line. After I finished my Epic Yarn review, I snorted what cocaine I had left and started writing this one. Right off the bat, I noticed 2 gaping flaws in this game. #1, the protagonist is not a donkey at all, instead he is some sort of big monkey. The developer could not even keep their promise held within the name of the game and they also screwed up the arm proportions of a monkey. Therefore, I took 3 points off of the final score. The second flaw is that there are a few hundred too many colors in this game. I guess the developers just decided to ignore the extensive palette of gray and dark gray (with the occasional light gray) and tried to go all skittles on my @$$. Then, immediately after, I noticed the 3rd flaw. This game is too hard! I kept trying to shoot the birds in the first level, but it never worked. I guess the terrible shoulder buttons on the wiimote broke. Instead, I learned that the only way to get passed enemies is to walk through them. I died around 69 times (see wut i did thar? lolz) on the first level! Then I realized that you're supposed to JUMP on their heads. How was I supposed to know that? They shoulda had some sort of tutorial in the beginning of the game! This game is just a rip-off of Mario. Mario jumps on everybody's heads, so the creator of this game, Suguyruieu Minay8ateo or some stupid name like that, decided to steal Mario's concept and claim it as his own! This just makes this game a shameless knockoff! Where would the industry be without truly innovative games like Call of Duty:Modern Warfare 2? This game is so unrealistic too. Apparently, the big monkey has a brother who just happens to be an orangutan. This orangutan has a jetpack and a gun! Apparently, this game takes place way in the future like 2013. It doesn't make any sense. Also, the big monkey doesn't even have correct anatomy. Somehow he must've been neutered somewhere along the line. I bet they're just trying to get the game to appeal to the 3 year old's that still play the Wii. According to the incredibly reliable Wikipedia "teh wii sux cuz its 4 littl babys and thier hawt moms." I rest my case. The game also takes place in a bunch of different settings. You go to a jungle and some other places that I didn't get to before I wrote this review. It doesn't make sense because monkeys usually live in forests. There's a small difference between jungle and forest. I know the difference, but I guess Nintendo didn't. After playing the overly long campaign for around 6 hours, I barely got anywhere, so I decided to go online. Oh, but this game doesn't even have online! They just expect us to play WITHOUT lag and people shouting at us through the headphones. They have something called "local multiplayer" where you're supposed to play with your mom or something. But I didn't have anyone to play with and my mom refuses to come down to my room in the basement, so I couldn't even play it. But I'm gonna factor that part in anyways. Here is a quote from another video game publication to make myself seem sophisticated "It's a platform-lover's dream and the kind of game you buy a Wii for. Do whatever you've got to do to play it," - Some guy. In conclusion, Donkey Kong Country Returns is a terrible way to start a new franchise. I guess that Retro got tired of making Halo knock-offs with some dude named Sam in a full body suit and decided to copy an awful game like New Super Mario Bros. With a campaign that probably takes an overwhelming 9 hours and graphics that belong on a really old system like the Xbox, Donkey Kong Country Returns should actually be named Sucky Suck Sucktry Sucks Again. Also, my editor told me that I need 6000 letters and this is only 4300 so here's some random text. a9jdaoifjoihfoiuqhopihpahfsajhfpahfphueufrqewhlkDZLkcnoiAPOIFHFOIHFOkihjoihFPOIHFPOAIUHFDNJPIVHPAIHFPIHpihpoiahfpoihepoidfjpoiahfiashefrpiehpaoihfpidhfioahefpaihfpaiheoihfpaoihfepaiejeifhpaihfpiaohefpaihfapihfpiehfpoaihcjvzkzjbvlisufpa. 0/10"
@Swiket: idk, i think briunj has walked that line rather gracefully there :3
BEST THREAD EVER future of NL >:3
[16:43] James: I should learn these site rules more clearly
[16:44] LztheBlehBird: James doesn't know the rules? For shame!!!
Human nature. We oppose views that don't coincide with our own. It's not a question of "Are we supposed to care about this?", it's a question of "Can we not care about this?", which, can be and is answered with both yes and no.
On to the topic, in general, I feel like games are overlooked by the general media completely, so in a mainstream media mag like EW, I'm less than surprised that something like this showed up. Granted, I am surprised, but not completely. I'm always surprised when video game reviews show up in my local paper, and more often than not, they're lower than my personal opinion, and the general consensus, so I don't feel like non-game specific publications hold much credibility. That said, it is interesting that this game is the worst big-name/anticipated game according to them, because as I recall, wasn't Alpha Protocol a much-anticipated and extremely underwhelming game that came out this year?
I'm pretty sure I think I'm funnier than I really am. 10 Years of Kingdom Hearts 3DS Friend Code: 0301-9785-9580 [url=http://www.youtube.com/user/NeoStormGaming]Watch me and my friends play games! Now with better visual qualit...
Entertainment Weekly Writer: "Hmm. This pleases me. I'm sure no one will mind if I place my own personal opinions on what I think are lame games. After all, A-listed games are always great targets for bad reviews so no one has any reason to hate me. Ah well, time to go publish this."
Go home to your mother so she can spank you so the rest of us don't have to.
Why do astronauts backtrack? They forgot the Space Jump Boots.
BEST THREAD EVER future of NL >:3
[16:43] James: I should learn these site rules more clearly
[16:44] LztheBlehBird: James doesn't know the rules? For shame!!!
I just got this issue in the mail, and it is HILARIOUS. They gave DKC 5th best game of the year, and they said "In a jungle of video games ruled by Mario and Lego, comes a new reign, and his name is Kong." Like they didn't know there were any DK games made before that were top sellers. Then they go on and say, "This reboot of an arcade classic" because apparently they only thought Donkey Kong was an arcade game. Oh yeah, and Epic Yarn and Other M are apparently worse then Kung-Fu Rider which was their 3rd worst game of the year.
The Artist Formerly Known as ballkirby1
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Topic: Kirby's Epic Yarn Rated the Worst Game of the Year by Entertainment Weekly
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