Game Reviews scoring 5/10
Review Farming Simulator 14 (3DS)
More farm than good
Last summer Farming Simulator 3D trucked its way onto the 3DS, allowing gamers to establish and manage a flourishing agricultural empire on-the-go, without having to get their hands dirty or don a straw hat and suspenders. It was a game that we found to be enjoyable at times, but the omission of any tutorials or guides lent to a...
GEOMdude used Rock Throw!
GEOM is another low-budget title on the Wii U eShop from a fresh studio — Andraconus — and brings to mind another relatively recent offering: RCMADIAX's Blok Drop U from earlier this year. Both are simple puzzle titles that don't really live up to expectations, but their price point being lower than the cost of a cup of...
Review How to Survive (Wii U eShop)
Island-hopping and head-popping
Zombies used to be so underground, man. Years ago the very mention of these rotted ghouls would have people scratching their heads in blissful ignorance, but now they’re shuffling, walking and running around like they own the place. The genre has been utterly exhausted to the point where now their inclusion in media...
Review Pac-Land (Wii U eShop / NES)
Pac your bags, man
Never before released for the NES in the west, Namco has dropped its Pac-Man platformer Pac-Land onto the eShop to celebrate the announcement of Pac-Man in the new Super Smash Bros. games. A departure from the simple, addictive gameplay the Pac-Man series is known for, Pac-Land attempts to expand the scope and appeal of its iconic...
Review How to Train Your Dragon 2 (Wii U)
Needs a bit more training
How to Train Your Dragon 2, developed by Australian studio Torus Games and published by Little Orbit, is a throwback to movie tie-ins of yore. Most big action films these days opt for cheaper, often microtransaction-based game tie-ins on mobile devices, like Captain America: The Winter Soldier and
Review Soccer (Wii U eShop / NES)
A well timed blast from the past
Just in time for the World Cup this week, Intelligent Systems' Soccer arrives on Wii U Virtual Console – but all is not well. One of the early titles in Nintendo's "Sports Series" on NES, Soccer seems to garner boatloads of hate from players compared to companions like Golf and Ice Hockey. These detractors are not...
Review I've Got to Run! (Wii U eShop)
Take a walk
Made using the Nintendo Web Framework, 4 Corner Games' I've Got to Run! works more as a proof of concept than a full-fledged experience. This little game is functional and cute, but the bare bones presentation and gameplay won't sustain anyone's attention for more than a few minutes, and most will wonder why this game isn't on 3DS or...
Review Arc Style: Baseball 3D (3DS eShop)
Take me out to a real ball game...
Arc System Works' latest casual sports title, Arc Style: Baseball 3D, contains the same extensive customisation options of Arc Style: Soccer!! 3D, but it also retains the sluggish, repetitive gameplay and adds some new issues to boot. There is fun to be had in the local multiplayer and even the single player...
Review Turtle Tale (3DS eShop)
Turtle Recall
Do you love retro platformers but wish they featured more squirt guns? Not to be confused with the children's animated film A Turtle's Tale from a few years ago, Saturnine Games' Turtle Tale brings Super Soakin' platforming action to the eShop at a budget price, but don't let its colourful graphics fool you: Turtle Tale is a strict...
Review Mega Man Xtreme (3DS eShop / GBC)
Xtreme Mediocrity
Mega Man X is often touted as one of the best games the SNES had to offer, which is certainly saying something. Its first sequel is further from consensus, but it's still safe to say that it's a great followup to its predecessor. If you've played either of these games — and, if you haven't, stop reading right now and do that —...
Harvest Merchant
Released in North America and Japan last year, Hometown Story has now hit European shores at long last, thanks to the efforts of Rising Star Games. You play as a young boy — or girl, if you wish — who takes over a shop in a small town after his grandmother, who previously owned it, passes away. If this sounds in any way similar...
Review Me & My Furry Patients 3D (3DS eShop)
Diagnosis: a little hairy
There's a certain nostalgic charm to Me & My Furry Patients 3D's early-1990s PC game aesthetic – the rudimentary isometric 2D graphics, crude character models, heavy reliance on walls of text and menus resembling Windows 95 pop-up boxes are a nice change of pace from the ubiquitous FarmVille-esque cartoony graphics we see...
Review Batman: Arkham Origins Blackgate - Deluxe Edition (Wii U eShop)
The broken Bat
For as long as portable games have existed, the trend of developing handheld versions of popular console titles has been present and correct. These games tend to be inferior versions of the originals, taking a substantial hit graphically and often limiting gameplay, depending on what the portable console is capable of. In some cases,...
Review Devil World (3DS eShop / NES)
Absolutely Diabolical
Very few developers can boast the introduction of as many unique and refreshing gameplay concepts as game-crafting master Shigeru Miyamoto. Nintendo’s iconic developer has reinvented and reinvigorated countless genres, breathing new life into stale and tired gameplay tropes and carving a name for himself as one of the...
Review Ice Hockey (Wii U eShop / NES)
Not that cool any more
Nintendo released a number of sports titles in the NES era, a reflection of a simpler time when having a fancy home console was enough of a novelty that a game simply called Ice Hockey would seem like an awesome prospect. You like Ice Hockey? You've got Nintendo? Get Ice Hockey, which is Ice Hockey on your Nintendo! That...
Review Yoshi's New Island (3DS)
Dino-lite
Back in 1995, Yoshi's Island turned heads when it was announced as the successor to the masterful Super Mario World. Appearing to be more of a spin-off than a direct sequel, there was skepticism as to whether such a departure could live up to the Mario name and please fans of the series. Fortunately the unique gameplay mechanics,...
Review Dr. Mario (Wii U eShop / NES)
One play a day...
It feels as if Dr. Mario has been a near constant presence — in some form — over recent years, but the oddity is that the Wii U Virtual Console release of the NES version is the début for that iteration over the most recent system generations. We've had fresh DSiWare and WiiWare releases, with the latter perhaps halting a...
Review AeternoBlade (3DS eShop)
Meh-ternoBlade
It may have taken a bit longer than anyone expected, but AeternoBlade has finally ventured beyond Japan and to reach both North American and European markets. The game was nearing completion back in June of last year, but developer Corecell Technology didn’t have the necessary funding to move along with the localization process,...
Review Castlevania II: Simon's Quest (3DS eShop / NES)
What a horrible night to play this game
Sequels of the present day are almost an inevitability; a safe way for a developer to earn some extra revenue by expanding their previous game, slightly tweaking gameplay nuances and throwing in additional levels and enemies. However, in the late '80s, things were different – sequels could vary wildly from...
Review Disney Frozen: Olaf's Quest (3DS)
A short and chilling quest
Those of you that are keen movie buffs will know that Frozen is Disney's latest animated motion picture, and — judging from the enthusiastic critical and commercial reaction — it's fair to say that it has gone down a treat with adults and children alike. Full of lovable characters and boasting a good soundtrack (like...
Review Double Dragon (3DS eShop / NES)
Dragon us down
From the moment protagonist Billy Lee’s sweetheart is sucker-punched in the opening sequence, Double Dragon establishes itself as an action-packed, thrilling battle through hordes of enemy combatants in an attempt to reclaim the captured damsel. As soon as gameplay begins, however, this façade is quickly stripped away to reveal an...
Review Crash 'n the Boys: Street Challenge (3DS eShop / NES)
Challenge accepted
What do you get when you combine the River City Ransom theme with Track and Field-style gameplay? You get Crash 'n the Boys: Street Challenge. The game takes the street gang theme and creates some fitting Olympic-style events to go along with it. It sounds like a mouth-watering proposition, but sadly while the unique urban...
Review Batman: Arkham Origins Blackgate (3DS)
Throw away the key
Being ambitious is no easy task. Playing a full, big-budget console game on a portable system is likely in every gamer’s wildest fantasies, but due to hardware limitations, we’re often left disappointed by half-hearted ports. Armature Studio, in its infinite wisdom, recognized this concern and chose to take this one in a...
Review Hooked on Bass Fishing (DSiWare)
Clear and shallow waters
Fishing has never promised to be a thrill-a-minute sport; there is no LeBron James of fishing, as well there shouldn’t be. There are those who take fishing as a very serious and technical endeavour, certainly, but others take a more laid-back approach: just get out there, fiddle with things and see what you can nab! Hooked...
Review Heathcliff: Spot On (DSiWare)
Off the mark
The Heathcliff comic strip is a longtime favourite in many funny pages, having remained curled up on its spot for 40 years. If you want to create a spot-the-difference game, then the widespread character recognition and enormous backlog of source material Heathcliff offers would seem to make a good foundation. It certainly may, but...
Review Adventure Time: Explore the Dungeon Because I DON'T KNOW! (Wii U)
Mathematical?
D3Publisher, Cartoon Network and WayForward were definitely onto something in last year's Adventure Time: Hey, Ice King! Why'd You Steal Our Garbage?! Though the title was over too soon, it took players all over the Land of Ooo on a true-to-series nonsensical quest using Zelda II-like gameplay, with a top-down overworld and...
Review Deer Drive Legends (WiiWare)
Legends of the Fail
There’s a new WiiWare game available in North America. Let that sink in for a moment. After nearly nine months of silence, a new title emerges from the depths of Maximum Games's back pocket and lands squarely on the WiiWare service as Deer Drive Legends, the light gun shooter that you probably haven’t been waiting for...
Review Brawl Brothers (Wii U eShop / SNES)
Sibling rivalry
Jaleco released a trilogy of side-scrolling fighters in Japan under the Rushing Beat banner, and while all three made their way to the west, they did so under different titles: Rival Turf, Brawl Brothers and The Peace Keepers. Inspired in no small part by the success of Capcom's Final Fight, the series never really managed to reach...
Review Secret Mysteries in New York (3DS eShop)
Find every object, for great justice
There's a real puzzle afoot in Secret Mysteries in New York, and it has to do with the game's title itself. No, it's not our attempt to figure out whether or not the phrase "secret mysteries" qualifies as redundant; it's why the developers bothered to rename Secret Mysteries in London for its eShop release. The...
Review Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (3DS)
Shell shocked
It’s arguably difficult to consider Nickelodeon’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles TV reboot as anything other than a rousing success. Blending together elements from the classic 1987 series with a more modern approach, the show has been a hit with fans both new and old, treading that awkward line between paying homage to the past and...
