Tom Nook
To the swinging and the ringing of the bells, bells, bells!
About Me: Welcome to town! Are you the new resident? Just kidding; I don't care. Put on this apron and get to work. Wait...sorry, force of habit. Let me start over. I'm a very successful businooki. When I started this company, I had a simple mission: to provide highquality goods and services to shoppers from all walks of life, and then force them into indentured servitude by means of inescapable, oneway financial dependence. What can I say? I'm a Republican.
Location: Whatever you decided to name the town. So, probably Buttville.
Ethnicity: Tanooki
Hair: Greased by the sweat of the worker's brow
Eyes: $ $
Occupation: Mogul
I would like to meet: Davy Crockett. Why? I will tell you. I was eleven years old. When I was strong enough, I dedicated my life to the study of fencing. So the next time we meet, I will not fail. I will go up to the man in the coonskin cap and say, "Hello. My name is Thomas Nook. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
I like to play the following sports: Moneyball
My exercise regime consists of: Knocking your trash cans over and throwing the garbage all over your lawn.
My favourite music: "Big Balls" by AC/DC
My favourite movies: The Money Pit, the first few scenes of A Christmas Carol, the Pottersville scenes of It's A Wonderful Life, The Raccoon of Wall Street
My favourite TV shows: Hannity, Fox & Friends, The O'Reilly Factor
My dream is to: People have been complaining about the way my massive, monopolistic businesses stunt the competitive marketplace, so rather than focusing on expanding the width, depth, and breadth of my current ventures, I'm considering opening a much smaller shop with my elderly grandmother. I'm picturing a familyowned business, selling trinkets and knickknacks at a low cost to tourists, staffed entirely by all of my surviving relatives. Business here has been too good to step away just yet, but sometime in the future I do hope you'll stop by and support my new store, Every Nook & Granny.
On a first date I'd like to: Speak to you about your home mortgage options.
Comments 29
High scores...silly...
I think King Boo will be getting a reply very soon from @WiiUseeker
That old man eerily types like my old teacher in Pharmacology...
shudders
That's great! Very well written! I really like the Old Man one though.
Fire man can't jump. That was funny joke.
I love the Old Man's profile. So good
Funny, the only thing I could think about is that Adam is dead, and Dracula became what he is because his love is dead, so he wouldn't ever date.
If people wanna do this roleplaying stuff, they should at least put more effort into it. /nitpick
Tom Nook favorite music is "Big Balls". I know why they put that there thanks to Gaijin Goombah, but "Big Balls"...
@Djreisat Ironically that was intended as one of the cleanest jokes. Dating services often promise a 'match guarantee', so it's a riff on that
The adam malkovitch thing.... So true
The nook thing sounds significantly more Democrat than it does Republican but hey - different country!
Ha ha! The Old Man and the Neal Young reference!
you wanna see a video game character looking for love? click my profile here and check my backloggery.
@jakysnakydx
Lol! I was thinking the same thing.
"SHOW THIS TO THE OLD WOMAN. WHAT CAN I SAY? I'M FORWARD."
I can't breathe
When I saw the old man here, all I could think of was this:
"Which of these lonely hearts would you like to snuggle up next to on this fine, enchanted evening?
None of them. Your answer should be none of them."
Wrong. The answer is, of course, the legendary Heropon himself, Riki.
10/10 softness, would rub belly.
Gotta be a rough life being a toad. 100s of guys and just the one toadette, and the captain almost lost her!
"That's when I realized that it's true what they say: nothing cheers a man up like a nice pair of Boo bees"
Been looking forward to this @Philip_J_Reed, I think it's the funniest one yet. Hope you've got another on the horizon for next year.
@jakysnakydx @JellySplat You mean Republicans aren't old money-grabbing raccoons that only watch Fox News?
Otacon!
@Squid hey now, no need to be all political here. These are games, not reality.
@Resh Oh my God XD
Loving seeing this yearly feature.
@Squid
I have about eighteen different retorts for you, but because I want to be respectfull, and I would rather keep politics out of this, I'm not going to say anything.
Have a good one fellow Nintendo fan!
The troll on page 9 I got to ignore, so I like that Captain Toad got a mention.
The terror that flaps in the night? Isn't that Darkwing Duck?
@EllenJMiller Too bad Riki is married with about a dozen kids.
How dare you kill off a beloved Disney character!
Anyway, another excellent edition this year, although Adam's sexist remarks were a little over the top, and it could've done without the extensive setups just to provide lame puns.
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