Dracula
Stake through the heart, and you're to blame.
About Me: I am the terror that flaps in the night, a charming, suave, classic monster that enjoys drinking blood and ruining the Belmonts' weekend. I have existed for hundreds of years, a fearsome relic of simpler times when people would actually be afraid of something that could be incapacitated by crucifixes, garlic cloves, wooden stakes, mirrors, bread, running water, holy water, whips, bug zappers, and even natural sunlight. What am I made of? Tissue paper? Oh, and I also can't enter your home unless you specifically invite me. Man, people must have been really easy to scare back then.
Location: Carpathia
Ethnicity: Bloodsucker
Hair: Widow's peak. Don't listen to the Wolfman; I had it first.
Eyes: Look into mine...
Occupation: Dead and loving it
I would like to meet: One! One true love! Ah, ah, ah, ah. Preferably somebody with a sense of humour, who gets why I say "You're welcome" whenever somebody points out my fangs.
I like to play the following sports: Baseball. I am the bat boy.
My exercise regime consists of: Standing still while I'm repeatedly pelted with projectiles. Seriously, why was anybody ever afraid of me?
My favourite music: My favourite band is The Children of the Night. Listen to them! What music they make. I also quite enjoy Meat Loaf's second album.
My favourite movies: Not Twilight! I'd show that Robert Pattinson what a real vampire is like. In my day, we didn't have any of this "love" garbage. If we wanted a woman we had to hypnotize her and rob her of her memories and free agency. And we were proud to do it! Falling for a woman who likes you in return? Yes, we true vampires had a word for that. We called it cheating! Still...text me, Bella.
My favourite TV shows: Renfield and Stimpyfield
My dream is to: Finally take the time to inventory the completely unrelated and seemingly incongruous beasts in my castle. The Mummy, Medusa, Frankenstein's monster, a gigantic bat made out of loose change...I tell you, that's the last time I use a public domain temp agency.
On a first date I'd like to: Reveal to you that I'm actually some blue demon thing wearing a Speedo.
Comments 29
High scores...silly...
I think King Boo will be getting a reply very soon from @WiiUseeker
That old man eerily types like my old teacher in Pharmacology...
shudders
That's great! Very well written! I really like the Old Man one though.
Fire man can't jump. That was funny joke.
I love the Old Man's profile. So good
Funny, the only thing I could think about is that Adam is dead, and Dracula became what he is because his love is dead, so he wouldn't ever date.
If people wanna do this roleplaying stuff, they should at least put more effort into it. /nitpick
Tom Nook favorite music is "Big Balls". I know why they put that there thanks to Gaijin Goombah, but "Big Balls"...
@Djreisat Ironically that was intended as one of the cleanest jokes. Dating services often promise a 'match guarantee', so it's a riff on that
The adam malkovitch thing.... So true
The nook thing sounds significantly more Democrat than it does Republican but hey - different country!
Ha ha! The Old Man and the Neal Young reference!
you wanna see a video game character looking for love? click my profile here and check my backloggery.
@jakysnakydx
Lol! I was thinking the same thing.
"SHOW THIS TO THE OLD WOMAN. WHAT CAN I SAY? I'M FORWARD."
I can't breathe
When I saw the old man here, all I could think of was this:
"Which of these lonely hearts would you like to snuggle up next to on this fine, enchanted evening?
None of them. Your answer should be none of them."
Wrong. The answer is, of course, the legendary Heropon himself, Riki.
10/10 softness, would rub belly.
Gotta be a rough life being a toad. 100s of guys and just the one toadette, and the captain almost lost her!
"That's when I realized that it's true what they say: nothing cheers a man up like a nice pair of Boo bees"
Been looking forward to this @Philip_J_Reed, I think it's the funniest one yet. Hope you've got another on the horizon for next year.
@jakysnakydx @JellySplat You mean Republicans aren't old money-grabbing raccoons that only watch Fox News?
Otacon!
@Squid hey now, no need to be all political here. These are games, not reality.
@Resh Oh my God XD
Loving seeing this yearly feature.
@Squid
I have about eighteen different retorts for you, but because I want to be respectfull, and I would rather keep politics out of this, I'm not going to say anything.
Have a good one fellow Nintendo fan!
The troll on page 9 I got to ignore, so I like that Captain Toad got a mention.
The terror that flaps in the night? Isn't that Darkwing Duck?
@EllenJMiller Too bad Riki is married with about a dozen kids.
How dare you kill off a beloved Disney character!
Anyway, another excellent edition this year, although Adam's sexist remarks were a little over the top, and it could've done without the extensive setups just to provide lame puns.
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