Game Reviews scoring 5/10
Under pressure
Having covered bullets and time, EnjoyUp's pint-sized yet madly challenging 99 series of score-attackers aligns its focus on the third staple of classic game design: movement and the limitations thereof. Over the dozen or so stages of 99Moves, players are dared to make it to the end of a gauntlet in as many moves or fewer. It doesn't...
Review Transformers Prime (Wii U)
You've got the touch (screen)
The long-running Transformers franchise has shifted, morphed and diverged enough to certainly live up to its name since debuting in 1984: the original Generation 1 adored by long-time fans and purists, Beast Wars, a few Michael Bay interpretations and loads of comic books and video games. Much of the fiction's focus...
Review Marvel Avengers: Battle for Earth (Wii U)
Hulk smash
Let's face it – for the uninitiated, the fighting genre can be daunting. Millisecond-perfect timing and the memorisation of several-button-presses-long combos are often essential to win, and unfortunately not everybody has enough time to spend shining up their Shoryukens. Marvel Avengers: Battle for Earth lowers the entry barrier to the...
Review Cocoto Alien Brick Breaker (3DS eShop)
Devil vs Alien
In 2008 and 2009, Neko entertainment's would-be mascot Cocoto made two appearances on the WiiWare service. Cocoto Fishing Master and Cocoto Platform Jumper weren't total write-offs, but neither were they particularly impressive. They were competent but unmemorable dips into genres revealed by their titles. Cocoto Alien Brick Breaker...
Review Balloon Fight (Wii U eShop / NES)
Float on
To mark the arrival of the Virtual Console on the Wii U, Nintendo has launched a very generous promotion to mark the 30th anniversary of the Famicom (the Japanese version of the NES, in case you were wondering). What this promotion entails is the release of seven classic Nintendo games on the Wii U over a period of seven months for the...
Review Mahjong Mysteries - Ancient Athena (3DS eShop)
Mah-tch two
We'll be honest, while some members of the Nintendo Life team are clever and cultured enough to know all about the intricacies of Mahjong, some of us have to consult Wikipedia to learn the rules. It shouldn't have surprised us, however, that when we opened Mahjong Mysteries - Ancient Athena the variation on offer was basically a single...
Review Riding Stables 3D (3DS)
How about a lovely horse?
One genre that absolutely feels underrepresented on the eShop is the pet sim. This is at least somewhat surprising, as the 3DS is not only portable, but it encourages gamers to take it with them everywhere, regardless of whether or not they intend to play anything. It accomplishes this through puzzle and Mii sharing, Play...
Review Goooooal América (DSiWare)
New World, old game
For all the emphatic 'o's in its title's iconic interjection, Goooooal América is not a game about football. Nor is it a foosball game, as you might think. If you happen to have owned a certain toy as a child, however, you'll recognize the game's inspiration right off the bat. It's based on a particular small-scale...
Review 3D Game Collection (3DS eShop)
Win, lose, or draw?
Casual appeal and touch-screen controls have made Nintendo's recent handheld systems a perfect fit for digital collections of traditional games and puzzles, and that's the niche in which the rather generically named 3D Game Collection sits comfortably. With 25 games from Backgammon to Battleship, Solitaire to slide puzzles,...
Review Anonymous Notes Chapter 3 - From The Abyss (DSiWare)
Return of the Abyss
Things have been quiet on the Anonymous Notes front — after a year and a half the series returns for a hat trick with Anonymous Notes Chapter 3 - From The Abyss. Not much has changed in that time, really: save for a new protagonist, Chapter 3 is still the same mechanically sound and somewhat aimless dungeon crawler as Chapter 2...
Review Disney Epic Mickey 2: The Power of Two (Wii)
Golly gosh, Mickey
When Disney Epic Mickey arrived on Wii in time for the Holiday season in 2010, it attracted a lot of attention due to its concept and the development leadership of Warren Spector, one of the industry's most respected figures. Its relatively late arrival in the system's lifespan meant it pushed attractive visuals "for a Wii game",...
E - I - E - I - oh
If you're looking for the most happening place on Miiverse, look no further than the community for Funky Barn. Filled with sketches of animals in sunglasses and musical references, it's become a haven for memes and the friendliest trolling you've ever seen. When somebody posts about the game itself rather than its title, it's met...
Review Transformers Prime (3DS)
More than meets the eye?
Long-time Transformers fans have enjoyed a renaissance of sorts this console generation, with the Cybertron games offering a vision of the robots in disguise that those of us who grew up with the old cartoon could get behind in our capacity as grumpy old men. Keen to serve fans of all ages, Activision has turned its...
Review Tank! Tank! Tank! (Wii U)
Meh! Meh! Meh!
Every so often a video game comes along with a concept so amazing that copies should come with a roll of duct tape to keep consumers from having their faces rocked off. Tanks with crazy weapons fighting giant robot monsters in expansive, destructible cities seems like a concept that you’d have to work pretty hard to screw up...
Review Invasion of the Alien Blobs! (DSiWare)
Houston, we have a bloblem
At this point it's unlikely that anybody with a DSi or 3DS is in need of an inexpensive time-waster, but Invasion of the Alien Blobs! is here to provide one more option. And while it's not exactly a great game, it certainly provides some mindless fun along the way. The best thing about Invasion of the Alien Blobs! is its...
Pants party
When you're aiming for a wide audience with your new console, it's important to have all of your boxes ticked. New Mario? Check. Zombies? Check. Party game? Check, mate. That seems to be the driving force behind SiNG Party, a game so light and fluffy that it wafts through the air like the smell of cotton candy. It just kind of exists in...
Review Smart Girl's Playhouse Mini (DSiWare)
Empty house
It’s no easy task setting out to create a game that is wholesome and fun while maintaining an educational aspect. Unfortunately for Smart Girl’s Playhouse Mini, fun seems to have jumped ship, and all you’re left with is a too-sweet edutainment title with very little actual gameplay on offer. Touted as a collection of mini-games...
Review Dress To Play: Cute Witches! (3DS eShop)
Half witch, half craft
Older gamers might look at Dress to Play: Cute Witches! and see echoes of the Cotton series, or Magical Chase. Cute witches (lowercase) are certainly no strangers to shoot-'em-ups, and this game aims to combine a simplified (and bullet-free) version of that side-scrolling action with a dress-up element for character...
Review Come On! Dragons (DSiWare)
Blowing smoke
Come On! Dragons arrives on DSiWare with the promise of delivering a combination of tower defence and arrow firing action, much like its predecessor Come On! Heroes. Like the original title it succeeds to some degree, but its positives are weighed down by some disappointing flaws, meaning that it's not as hot as the title may suggest...
Review Mighty Bomb Jack (3DS eShop / NES)
Not so mighty
The original Bomb Jack was an addictive little arcade game in which the objective was to collect all the bombs in each level while avoiding enemies. Sounds like a simple concept - and it was. For the NES, though, Tecmo decided to make a sequel with a bit of an adventure game element to it. The bomb rooms from the original game are...
Dungeon crawler
18th Gate is not a game for the easily bored. It's a fairly basic strategy RPG that has you edging through – yes – 18 dungeons to the magical portal gates at the end, with the caveat that you only have a limited number of turns to escape from each maze. Each turn can be an attack, a spell or a single step to an adjacent hexagonal...
Review Inazuma Eleven Strikers (Wii)
Crazy super-duper Strikers!
When it comes to Inazuma Eleven Strikers, don't let any references to football (soccer if you're of the North America persuasion) or the snazzy kits fool you, this isn't a football game. It's a ball game with football-style rules, infused with extravagant special moves and buckets of charm, which is guaranteed to raise an...
Review Jewel Master: Cradle of Egypt 2 (DS)
Is history repeating itself?
In these risk-averse times, publishers are increasingly relying on sequels to existing IPs to ensure that they turn over a profit. The problem doesn’t stem so much from a dearth of creativity in the industry, but rather as consumers we have a horrible habit of sticking with what we know. Much like the video game...
Review Crazy Kangaroo (3DS eShop)
Hop, Skippy and jump
No wonder poor old Barney has gone a bit loopy. Crazy Kangaroo's mad marsupial is on the run after escaping the grasp of evil poachers by daringly bundling himself out of a plane. Unwilling to give up their prize, his captors continue their relentless pursuit to tie this kangaroo down. If you've been near a smartphone in the...
Review VectorRacing (3DS eShop)
Lines and lines and lines and lines and lines!
There's an episode of Family Guy in which Peter Griffin attends a production of Uncle Vanya. Partway through the play he stands up, bored out of his mind, and shouts, "for crying out loud, somebody throw a pie!" That's more or less how we felt playing VectorRacing. VectorRacing is the epic tale...
Review Crazy Chicken Pirates (DSiWare)
Not crazy enough to work
Recently two games were released via Nintendo’s handheld online services, Crazy Chicken Pirates and Crazy Chicken Pirates 3D, and, as you’ve probably guessed, they’re very similar to one another. By “very similar”, we actually mean that — with the exception of the additional 3D effect and higher resolution of the...
Review Escape The Virus: Shoot 'Em Up! (DSiWare)
Not hugely contagious
Escape the Virus: Shoot 'em Up! is a top-down twin stick arcade shooter without the twin sticks. As a tiny bit of friendly bacteria, you zoom about firing out rounds of red and blue pills at an endless onslaught of nasty-looking viruses, shooting in whichever direction you're moving. The viruses always eventually win, so the...
Review Crazy Chicken Pirates 3D (3DS eShop)
This poultry is paltry
There's a story in Crazy Chicken Pirates 3D, but believe us, you won't need one. The game — whose title reads about as gracefully as magnetic poetry — sees you gunning down chickens for 90 seconds. Then, we guess, you can do it again. If you'd like to. You may not, but the option to play again is about the only option the...
Review The Phantom Thief Stina and 30 Jewels (3DS eShop)
Hidden gem or a kick in the jewels?
The Phantom Thief Stina and 30 Jewels is an arcade-like game that has you breaking into an assortment of stages, grabbing keycodes, deactivating security systems, and escaping into the night with shiny jewel in hand. As a concept, Phantom Thief is intriguing, but while it can be fun, it's ultimately let down by...
Review Frogger: Hyper Arcade Edition (WiiWare)
Hopping mad
Frogger reached its 30th anniversary last year so, as is tradition for gaming birthdays, Konami has marched out a new edition of the arcade classic. Frogger: Hyper Arcade Edition sets out to bring multiplayer and new play styles to the franchise, but it's not quite all it's croaked up to be. It's split up into eight modes – six game...
