Makes No Sense
Image: Nintendo Life / Lionsgate

Good news, everyone! We've played the mysterious Nintendo Switch Online Playtest Program, an online-only experience that, according to Nintendo, is open to just 10,000 lucky participants.

Oh yes. Team NL was ready and waiting earlier in October to rapidly register for this first-come-first-served affair. Having filed our application in the first seconds of availability, we got in and can now divulge all the juicy details of this intriguing online experience Nintendo's cooked up...

Oh no, hang on. We can't.

As you'll be aware if you've been following this program's mysterious reveal, access is conditional to accepting the EULA (End User Licence Agreement) which every participant must read — or at least scroll to the end of — before downloading and playing the software. Contained within is a request not to share details with others online or use the test for commercial purposes.

Nintendo Switch Online Playtest Program
Image: Nintendo

Now, the exact consequences for individuals breaking Nintendo's rules aren't clear. Losing access to the playtest is a given, but seeing as entry is tied to your Nintendo Account, many people aren't willing to risk incurring NCL's wrath just in case things turn even more Draconian and their profiles get a mark against them. We can't imagine Nintendo's hounds/eagles/ninjas turning up on your doorsteps to extract compensation, but it's understandable that people are worried about... er, messing around and finding out.

That hasn't stopped some intrepid, carefree playtesters on social media, of course. The software has been stripped apart, screenshotted, and streamed across the internet, so anyone curious can find the information out there.

The most baffling aspect here is exactly what Nintendo is thinking with these restrictions. This isn't the same as enforcing a 'No Photos' rule at the Nintendo Museum, and screenshots and video grabs aren't disabled when using the program, either. The EULA is technically, legally binding, but in reality the consequences for individuals breaking it are unlikely to be serious. The bad press generated by sending lawyers after some excited NSO subscriber who posts a photo on Facebook would be a PR nightmare. It's 2024 and you can't open the digital doors and expect thousands of people to keep it to themselves.

Let's take it as read that companies like Valve and Nintendo must know what's going to happen, then, so what's the angle? Is this an earnest, unworkable dictate from NCL that has NOE and NOA tearing their hair out? Is it a ploy to rout out dataminers somehow and write up a naughty list ahead of Switch 2's reveal and launch?

We're probably going too far down the rabbit hole here. It's just confounding that Nintendo would think that a EULA and some goodwill might be enough to keep the lid on this - so confounding that we can't quite believe there's not something else going on.

Maybe just making it a pleasant request is the point; perhaps the devs want to highlight that even these days asking nicely can still be effective. It's quaint considering the online reality we're faced with, and in a strange, Nintendo-like way, it's also oddly... what's the word? Endearing? Irritating, especially when you're a Nintendo outlet covering Nintendo things, but also refreshing in an old-fashioned, 'Aw, you asked so nicely!' kinda way.

Nintendo
Image: Nintendo Life

If a limp attempt to keep things under wraps is part of a plan to generate buzz around the project, job done. In fact, annoying as it is for us, this unusual reveal is a breath of fresh air given the firm's overly familiar timetable of:

  • Nintendo Direct revealing games coming over the next six-ish months
  • Accompanying marketing campaigns rolling out at prescribed intervals
  • Monthly NSO drop
  • Some random announcement to keep everyone on their toes (Nintendo Museum Direct, Theme Park, Movie, Alarmo)
  • Rinse, repeat

That predictable cycle has worked brilliantly for Nintendo throughout the Switch era, and we've had some spectacular games. Yet something — anything — that breaks from the norm (think #WhoIsEmio, for example) creates little sparks of magic that get a Nintendo fan's pulse racing. Yes, yes, we all want GameCube games on NSO, but it's the new stuff that's most exciting. The unknown.

That, we imagine, is what Nintendo is trying to create with this absurd situation. From what is essentially a network test, it's created intrigue; an environment where information is freely available but also illicit. And what could be more enticing than that?

Do you intend to do 'research' online to find out more about the NSO Playtest Program?

What do you think? A cunning ploy to create an aura of mystery around a new thing? Or a polite-yet-naive request? Something to appeal to the best nature in every one of us. Something good. Something decent. Something p— sorry, we got distracted. Let us know your thoughts below.

We're heading back to the playtest. It's intriguing! Hang on, can we say that? One sec, someone's at the door.