Bandicam 2014 02 04 11 43 41 682

With the recent announcement of both Monster Hunter 4G and a confirmed Western release in 2015, the self-titled "Greatest Editors In The World" have stuffed me back in my cupboard, denying me anything not directly related to creating Monster Hunter articles for you lovely people. I've been promised a photo of someone else enjoying a Cadbury's Crème Egg if I get this out on time, so wish me luck as that’ll be as close as I've come to eating since they locked… err, relocated me here.

This time around, I've decided to tackle Kechawacha, Monster Hunter 4’s new guy, with the Charge Axe — because if there’s one thing that’ll guarantee success, it’s going into battle with a shiny new weapon I've never used before. To try and balance this out (and to try and guarantee I see daylight before June) I took the precaution of doing some semi-decent preparation this time around; I’m carrying enough meat and drink in my item pouch to feed a small city, and I've got paintballs and whetstones coming out my ears. No idea how useful they’ll be, but they’ve got to be more use than the wet fish I brought into battle last time, right?

So it turns out that with Kechawacha, Capcom have managed to create an enemy that irritates me on some primal level as much as the old pink chicken Yian Kut-Ku does. This oddball’s got a water-spitting elongated nose (I do hope that’s water), a weird head covering hood-type-thingy, and he likes to swing around like a chimp on the biggest sugar rush of his life. The one good thing about this stupid ape/elephant/flying squirrel-thing's love of swinging around is that in one of his favourite areas to lurk you can sometimes clamber up on top of the vines while he’s looking for you below and smack him on the backside for a free cheap hit.

The Charge Axe is an interesting new weapon with two different modes – a sword and shield and an axe mode, where the shield becomes a bladed lump at the end of the sword. I used both forms as badly as the other — but mercifully not as badly as I use bows — so I only had to take a ride in the Cat Cart once, and a lot of that was because I like to think of blocking oncoming attacks as an optional extra that clever people do. My problem is that when I am allowed out of this… “cozy”… cupboard to play other games I tend to play JRPGs – a genre that generally has people get by on The Power of Friendship (TM) and other shiny happy thoughts – and I like to think that maybe, just this once, my burning hot soul of justice will protect me from Kechawacha’s sharp claws and pounces. I was wrong. Turns out I'm always wrong on that one.

As you can see in the video below, I eventually prevailed against this annoying chap, although I can imagine somebody who’s actually capable of swinging their pointy weapons in the right direction and doesn't have an addiction to getting the stuffing knocked out of them could do it in less than half that time. A win’s a win though, so I’ll take my scrappy half-prepared tussle and see what I can make from this thing’s hide before I take on whatever’s next – wish me luck!