Topic: Nintendo Corrupt-A-Wish

@Haru17 Granted. Down to the minute, 11:59pm on the 3rd. To the wrong store.

I wish I knew what Haru17's signature meant.

@Nicolai Goat.

GOAT.

Goats!

However, you got me to explain one of the reasons Twilight Princess is the best Zelda game for the billionth time.

I wish Breath of the Wild had goat-riding.

Granted, now the goats ride on your back instead of you on their's.

I wish that Nintendo's rechargeable batteries would all last over 200 hours.

Granted, but now the Switch will be delayed for 10 years while they design those new batteries.

I wish I was more motivated to do exercise.

Ok. Every time you exercise, you break every bone in your body. Have fun!

I wish for breath of the wild to have a Bomb system like shovel knight: plague of shadows'.

It does, in one mini dungeon that is extremely easy to complete.

I wish I knew what to do with my life.

Granted. It's been replaced by a new series called Teen Titans Go LEARN, the newest show in a plethora of edutainment for preschoolers that's sickeningly pleasant and conflict-free.

(I'm not knocking educational kids' shows per se, some like Arthur and Cyber Chase are really well done.)

I wish tomorrow was Friday.

Done. It launches a chain of events that eventually cancels all television, stops all video games, and starts hysteria and mass wars.

I wish for it to be thurs already

It's Thursday, but the Switch you ordered doesn't arrive early, you can't afford to buy another at a midnight launch, and weather on Friday delays it through the weekend. You get spoiled about the ending by the gushing deliveryman when he finally arrives, having opened your packages and played through the game before you. "It was really good," at least.

I wish people would realize that economic downturns throughout time use immigrants as a scape goat for more complex domestic issues. And that Breath of the Wild would undo Ocarina of Time's exoticism with regard to the Gerudo.

By wishing twice, you break wishing physics and cause a hole in the time-space continuum to suck you into nothingness.

I wish for the last few unrevealed 1-2-switch mingames to be like Wii sports resort games like bowling and badminton and tennis.

Edit: oh wow, I was right! Baseball and boxing are 1 2 switch games! Really glad I got 1 2 switch!

Granted, but 1 2 Switch is now banned worldwide because of the milking game. Apparently too many people read that trashy tabloid article.

I wish that Nintendo/IS would release a physical cartridge of Fire Emblem Fates: Revelation.

Granted. There is one copy sold, and it's destroyed by a retail employee.

I wish people would think before they comment.

Granted, they think really stupid things.

I wish you could pet the dogs in Breath of the Wild.

When you pet them, they bite off your hand. The game is rated M, and you can never use that hand in-game again.

I wish for a comprehensible comprehensive calendar of all switch releases.

Granted, however it uses the Coptic calendar instead of the Gregorian calendar.

I wish I was a genius.

Granted, but you're only a genius of meme-making.

Ok, but you lose all forms of movement, even eye movement. Have fun!

I wish to have right now every switch game ever.

Granted, but now your Switch gets scratched every time you dock it.

I wish to have super speed and the meme genius of the Sonic Twitter.

Granted, but you did not ask for any coolant methods. You generate memes at such a high frequency that you overheat and a-splode.

I wish Breath of the Wild was even bigger!

Ok. It is so big that you get hooked and cannot stop playing and it is so big that you cannot beat it. Enjoy never stopping playing!

I wish my botw weapons wouldn't break as fast.