Topic: Chuck Norris Jokes

If you've ever heard a really funny Chuck Norris joke, post it here.

I'll start us off with this one:
Chuck Norris' mother went through 82 hours of labor and loved it.

Chuck Norris is overrated.

When Chuck Norris was born, the only one crying was the doctor.
Chuck Norris freezes ice.
Jesus walks on water, but Chuck Norris swims through land.
Chuck Norris slams revolving doors.
Chuck Norris once shot down a helicopter by pointing at it and saying "bang".

Chuck Norris can divide by zero
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris CAN believe its not butter.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris played Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun and won

Chuck Norris is a joke.

That's not how it goes...

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.

_{deja vu thread}

Jesus can turn water into wine. Chuck Norris can turn Jesus into wine.

I'd beat Chuck Norris up, then do bad things to him, and take photos, and post them in the next Chuck Norris thread.

You just want to do 'bad things' to Chuck Norris.

Yup, that hairy chest drives me wild. Even Bruce Lee couldn't resist it's allure.