"...the 'morph into strange enemies like a wizard, tank, metal box, treasure chest, etc.' technique! I used it in Super Mario RPG during my final battle with Mario."
"Um great!" Jamouse replied. "But what does that have to do with me flying you to Xbox Planet?"
"I don't know, I was just being random." Smithy sighed. "No one loves me."
Jamouse chuckled. "You got that right buddy!"
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!" Smithy roared in anger. "NO ONE TALKS TO THE GREAT SMITHY LIKE THAT!"
Jamouse backed away and tried to hide from Smithy's imposing figure, but Smithy knocked him down with his giant hammer. Jamouse was knocked out cold.
"Great!" Smithy cried out. "Now I don't have a way to get back to Xbox Planet! What am I gonna do now?"
Smithy looked around and saw a warp pipe located conveniently near a cave.
"Ooh, that cave sure looks tempting, but I have to get back!"
Smithy approached the pipe and heard a strange echo coming from within the cave.
"Oh darn it! Ok, I'll peek inside."
Smithy stepped inside the cave and saw an amazing thing. It was a...
He transformed into a giant 3-headed pig! But then a large rock rolled in front of the cave's opening, trapping Smithy inside.
Back on Xbox Planet, Mario, Fox, Meta Knight, and the rest were trying to figure out how to get to Bill Gate's headquarters. Suddenly, Fawful appeared alongside Master Chief and Cortana!
Master Chief closed his eyes and telepathically spoke to Cortana, who was implanted in his suit's computer system.
"Um Cortana, why are we here? Shouldn't we be saving the universe from the Covenant?"
Fawful looked over at Master Chief. "SILENCE! I can read your thoughts, and you are being a bad soldier! You will now walk a million miles to face the demons of your despair!"
Master Chief shook his head. "What is this, I don't even..."
Fawful seethed with anger.
Cortana spoke to Master Chief, "Don't make him angry John. I think he means business!"
Master Chief chuckled. "Don't worry, I've dealt with worse. Let's just see what's going on before we make any rash decisions."
Mario approached Master Chief. "Who are you?"
"I'm John-117, one of the last remaining Spartans." Master Cheif said as he held out his hand in greeting.
"We are here to find Bill Gates and put an end to the Xbox Empire." Meta Knight stepped forward with his sword ready. "Are you in charge around here, John?"
"I'm not in charge," Master Chief replied. "But I can't let you stop Gates. He's too powerful. You'll never win."
Fawful stood agape at this comment. "You are to obey me!" Fawful shot Chief with a cannon, sending him flying back into a pile of rocks. "Stop having this deliciously meaningless conversation! I am here to stop all of you!"
"You can try," Mario said. "But you won't stop us. We are too big of a force for you. You're outnumbered!"
"I HAVE MUCH FURY! MUCH, MUCH FURY!" Fawful shouted. "I HAVE SO MUCH FURY THAT THE GODS WILL BOW DOWN TO MY MIGHT!"
Meta Knight chuckled. "Gods? We are video game characters. There are no gods in our world."
Fawful paused for a moment. "Er... Um... Right. But you all get my point."
Fawful snapped his fingers and a bunch of steel beams erupted from beneath our heroes. A forcefield then surrounded the NL crew, trapping them!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mario yelled. "You can't do this! We are on a mission!"
"A mission that has ended like a tree in a hurricane!" Fawful laughed. "Now your journey shall end!"
Meta Knight glared at Fawful, but in the distance, Master Chief approached.
"Remember me?" Master Chief declared as he charged his plasma rifle, aiming it right at Fawful's face....
"Umm... guys," said Meta Knight. "I think we're screwed."
"No really! Everything's just fine and dandy."
"Quiet! This isn't the time for sarcasm!"
Meanwhile, outside of the force field, Master Chief was still pointing his rifle at Fawful when all of the sudden, a mystical voice was heard.
"And so I strike, like an unseen dodgeball at an echoing gymnasium!" Dimentio then appeared out of seemingly nowhere.
"Oh dear god, not this guy," half of Team Mario groaned.
"I have come back from the Underwhere to seek my revenge. I shall dedicate my services to you, oh great Master Chief."
"Yeah, you could be useful. Teleport these guys somewhere where they won't try to overthrow Bill Gates."
Dimentio agreed and floated over to Mario. Mario took a fighting pose despite the fact he couldn't reach Dimentio.
"Mario, Mario Mario," Dimentio began. "We've all been taking it too easy on you and your friends. It's time for me to send you somewhere where you'll never get out alive."
"Oh yeah! Well where's that?"
"Oh that's easy. I'll send you and your friends to an evil place known as... KAIZO MARIO WORLD!"
"Yikes," uttered Mario.
"But I'll be fair. If you can get out of there... alive. I'll let you come back to Xbox Planet. Ciao!"
Dimentio then teleported Team Mario off of the Xbox Planet into the new dimension of Kaizo Mario World.
"Hmm hmm hmm," Dimentio giggled. "Did I do well?"
"Yep."
"Ha! Master Chief fell for it!" Dimentio thought. "It's all time to put my great plan to work..."
Meanwhile, Team Mario decided to check out this land of "Kaizo Mario World."
"Well this doesn't seem so bad," Mario said. "It looks a lot like Super Mario World, and that was the easiest Mario game ever!"
"Mario, I hate to burst your bubble, but, look over there," said Kooper, pointing at something.
Team Mario followed Kooper's finger to investigate. Kooper had a right to be worried, as he was pointing at floating munchers, ridiculously hard jumps, and a frustrated guy yelling "Move faster Pokey!"
"I take back what I said..."
And so, Team Mario began their journey through one of the most difficult dimensions of all time. But as soon as Mario tried to make the first jump over a pit of stacked, floating munchers....
A large tendril sprung out of the pit, wrapping around Mario's leg!
"Ack! Help me!" Mario yelled as he tried to rip the leafy tendril off.
Kooper readied his Fire Shell attack and flung himself at the plant, but he missed and fell into the pit.
Meta Knight shook his head. "Amateurs."
Meta Knight teleported to Mario and swung his sword rapidly, slicing the tendril to bits. The Muncher screeched and withdrew itself back into the pit.
"Thanks, but what about Kooper?" Mario looked into the pit, where Kooper was struggling against the Muncher menace.
Meta Knight flew into the pit and grabbed Kooper by his red scarf. He pulled him away just as a Muncher snapped it's jaws, just barely missing Kooper's leg!
"I'm alive? Yay!" Kooper hopped up and down happily.
"I'm glad we are all safe, but there's still one tiny problem..." Mario said.
"What's that?" Kooper said.
"How are we going to get out of here?!" Mario yelled.
Meta Knight looked up and saw a beacon of light high above them on a platform.
"Up there," he said pointing to the light. "It looks like an exit!"
"Ugh... That's great." Kooper shrugged his shoulders in disgust.
"We better start climbing." Mario said as he looked at the long staircase leading up.
"Can't Meta Knight just fly us up there?" Kooper asked.
Meta Knight snorted. "You are all far too heavy for me. We must move quickly. No time to waste"
"But I'm tired, and hungry." Kooper complained. "Can't we sit down for a bit?"
"No." Meta Knight said bluntly. "There is no time."
Mario, Meta Knight, Kooper, and the rest of Team Mario begrudgingly walked up the long staircase towards the beacon of light high above them.
"How long is this going to take?" Mario asked.
"Who knows? A few hours perhaps?" Meta Knight replied.
Just then, a bolt of lightning struck the ground near Kooper's feet! Kooper fell back in shock.
"WHAT WAS THAT?!" Kooper shouted. "Where did that come from?"
Kooper looked up, startled, but nothing could have prepared him for what he saw. There, hovering ten metres above his head was... a Zapdos. Randomly, Meta knight said in a bland voice: "A wild Zapdos has appeared" Suddenly a voice rang out from above Zapdos: "Hey! How dare you call our Zapdos wild! We spent ages and ages trying to tame this Zapdos!" A blue head peeked over Zapdos's wing. It was the stupid, annoying and unkillable Bagon that Smithy had met earlier! "Hey! Narrator! How many times do i have to tell you that i am not a Bagon. I am the great Jamouse!" Jamous struck a cool pose a top Zapdos. Smithy sat on the other side of it, trying to ignore Jamouse. Fox broke the akward silence: "Sorry to interupt, but who are these weirdos and how did they get here." "I'll tell you" Smithy replied "It all began back at that cave..." FLASHBACK TIME
Fox was unimpressed: "Fool! I know all about your powers Smithy. Samus and Link weren't the only cameo characters in super mario RPG. I too, was in it, albeit not so obvious to the players"
Kooper interupted "I got it, you were yoshi!"
" I am a Fox you idiot! Yoshi is a Dinosaur."
"Who cares what you are! Now, behold my ultimate transformation!"
Smithy head finished transforming, but everyone was surprised at what it was. It wasn't a treasure chest, or a tank. In fact it was... An... XBOX CONTROLLER!
Eggman was the first to react " An xbox controller? this can only mean one thing... Bill Gates has finally begun his operation!"
"We have to stop him before it's too late!" said Mario
Meta Knight was puzzled " But how do we escape from this rotten dimension and get to Xbox planet"
Jamouse jumped in "Easy, we just fly out the way we came in"
Zapdos snarled " heh! like i would carry you guys! Especially not that smithy... How dare he eat my poop back at that cave"
"Hey! you aimed directly at my mouth! Anyway i thought you were just a normal bird!
Mario interupted " Guys! we must work together! We can't let Bill Gates brainwash everyone! There is only one ting that we can do. We must form a fellowship... The fellowship of Nintendo !"
"But how can we stop Bill Gates?" said Jamouse
Eggman interupted "Simple. Bill Gates posseses a ring of power... the Red Ring of Death! We must venture to his castle on Xbox planet and destroy it!"
"Fine" said Zapdos " I will take you all back there"
The seven companions jumped on Zapdos' back, there newest companion, and set off to Xbox Planet!
Meanwhile, back on Xbox Planet, Dimentio was thinking about how to carry out the next step of his plan. He had already tricked Master Chief and Bill Gates into believing that he was on their side.
"Hmm... the prophecy says that when the big three plus an apple unite, the Void of Chaos will form That void will obliterate everything for perfection," said the Jester. Two of the big three have been united. "My next step is to trick Sony into coming here."
Dimentio floated up to Bill Gates and began. "Oh. It's you, Jester," said Bill Gates. "Whaddya want?"
Dimentio just giggled and began, "Would you also like to get rid of Sony? I think I know a way..."
"Oh how I'd ever!"
"And I think I can get rid of Jobs too. I'll just bring both of them here so you can dispose of them..."
"YES! YES!! DO IT!!"
Dimentio floated away, satisfied. "Hmm... that was easy. Now, off to Sony Planet to set the next step in motion..."
Meanwhile, while Dimentio was carrying out his plan, Team Nintendo (the group with Zapdos) was...
Already one step ahead of Dimentio and his goons. Meta knight had anticipated their plan and was heading to a mysterious nebula called warp pipe nebula.
" Hey why did you bring us here Punk?" Exclaimed Eggman.
" You are all fools. Dimentio wanted you to go to Planet Xbox. It was part of his plan"
"But how did you know, meta knight?"
" Long ago, a fortune teller in a remote village called kakariko village foretold that if three titans came together, the world would end. There was a Titan of Wisdom, a Titan of Power, and a Titan of courage. Nintendo is the titan of power, having a reputation so great that even the gods bowed to him. Microsoft is the Titan of Wisdom, waiting in the shadow of the other two titans, ready to strike... Finally, there is the Titan of Courage, Sony. Only Sony had the courage to stand up to Nintendo back when he ruled supreme. Only Sony had the courage to create a controller with a light ball on top, Only Sony had the courage to try something new and release a handheld with a touchscreen (cough). If these three great ones come together with the golden apple, the void of Chaos shall open...
"Aaaah!" Jamouse passed out.
"Seems like that was too scary for that stupid bagon" remarked Fox
"That makes things easier for ME! Mwah hah hah!" boomed a mysterious voice.
Everyone looked up, only to see Fawful hovering above them. Fawful clicked gos fingers and three Custom Robos Came out from the shadows. They fired rockets and Lazers at the heroes. Mario, Fox and Zapdos fought back, but the robos overcame them. All the heroes were on ground injured. Suddenly, the three robos merged in to one gigantic robot: A metal Gear. The metal gear charged up a lazer, and fired it at the heroes. All hope seemed lost, but, alas, Jamouse jumped over to the fight and headbutted the heroes into different warp pipes. Fox and Zapdos were sent to planet apple, Smithy, kooper and doctor Eggman were sent to planet Sony, and finally, Mario and Meta knight were sent to planet Xbox. Jamouse was not so lucky. He was obliterated by the lazer. The great Jamouse died a heroic Death.
Not all hope was lost though as the heroes all had their tasks to do on the different planets.
After that strange philosophical rant, Team Nintendo continued on their mission. At Dimentio's lair, located in Xbox Castle, Bill Gates looked through Dimentio's crystal ball and saw the heroes were on their way.
"Um Dimentio? We have a problem..." Gates said as he facepalmed.
"Yes what is it Gates?" Dimentio asked, twirling his cape around.
Dimentio looked into the crystal ball and saw Mario and crew ascending the large staircase that lead to Xbox Castle.
"Arm the cannons! Ready the lightning generators! We must stop them before they get here!" Gates yelled.
"Excuse me, I'M IN CHARGE HERE!" Dimentio yelled, nearly sending Gates on his back. "Tee hee!"
Gates got up and dusted himself off. "Well then... Tell me what we should do. And how are we going to get Sony and Apple to come to us?"
"All will be revealed in time Gates." Dimentio said as he pressed a switch on the wall. A nearby teleporter shimmered for a minute, and after a brief moment, Jack Tretton (Sony Computer Entertainment America) and Steve Jobs (Apple) appeared!
"Where are we?" Jack said as he looked around.
Steve Jobs noticed Bill Gates and narrowed his eyes. "You..."
Bill Gates waved casually and snickered. "Hey there. How ya doing old pal?"
Steve Jobs wiped off his glasses and chuckled to himself. "Oh Bill Gates. You're never going to give up are you? Admit it, you'll never beat me or my Apple Empire. You're stupid Zune will never beat my iOS devices. So just give up already."
"This isn't about that Steve." Gates snapped back. "My friend Dimentio here told me about a prophecy. He said that if the Big 3 plus an Apple were to unite, that some dark force would erupt and destroy the entire universe..."
"What are you doing Gates?" Dimentio snarled. "This is not what my plan is about!"
"Shut up Jester." Gates said as he pushed Dimentio aside. "Steve Jobs is my mortal enemy. I must finish him off myself. I've been waiting over 20 years for this moment. DON'T ruin this!"
Gates snapped his fingers and a trio of ninjas dressed in black emerged from the shadows.
"Tie them all up." Gates said as he crossed his arms over his chest.
"Wait a minute!" Dimentio interrupted, standing in the way of Gates and Jobs. "I'm supposed to give the orders around here!"
"I no longer need your help." Gates said.
Just then, a familar voice echoed through the building. "I HAVE FURY!"
Fawful jumped through the window and landed next to Bill Gates, who patted him on the head.
"Good work Fawful, though you could have been more discrete."
"FAWFUL?!" Dimentio was shocked. "I thought you were dead?":
"Dead?" Fawful retorted. "Perished? Deceased? No. I am none of these. Rather, I am the bringer of your doom. The icy doom which is the delicious frosting of your cake."
"But... The cake is a lie!" Dimentio yelled.
Fawful paused for a moment. "That reference flies over my head like a cow in a tornado. Now enough with your silly comments. I shall now sow the mustard seeds of your doom on my sandwich of justice!"
Fawful grinned widely as he looked at the ninjas, who had just finished tying Steve Jobs and Jack Tretton up.
"These ninjas will annihilate you." Fawful said as he snapped his fingers.
The ninjas leapt in the air and surrounded Dimentio.
"LMAO! So much LMAO!" Fawful excalimed. "Nya ha ha ha ha he he he he ha ha ha ha ha hoo hoo hoo!!!"
Back at Team Nintendo, Mario, Meta Knight, Fox, etc. were about to attack Smithy when suddenly a huge earthquake erupted in the distance...
Mario peered over the side of the pit and heard a low growl. A giant airship emerged from the pit, commanded by a monstrous turtle with a spiked green shell.
"Bowser..." Mario said to himself.
"Bwa ha ha ha!" Bowser roared. "Yes it is I, King of the Koopas!"
"So you're the great and terrible Bowser?" Eggman laughed heartily. "Oh ho ho ho ho!"
"Dr. Eggman I presume?" Bowser asked as he exited his airship.
"Indeed."
"Do you have the Chaos Emeralds?" Bowser held out his clawed hand.
"Right here." Eggman reached into his backpack and pulled out 5 shining emeralds.
"I only see 5." Bowser frowned. "I thought there were supposed to be 7 emeralds?"
"I... uh... couldn't locate the other ones."
"Eggman! What are you doing?" Meta Knight asked.
"Ha ha ha! I fooled you suckers!" Eggman gloated. "You all thought I was on your side?!"
"You monster!" Fox said as he held up his blaster.
"Bowser, Smithy, let's get out of here." Eggman said. "These fools are helpless without the Emeralds."
Bowser, Smithy, and Eggman boarded the airship and flew off. Our heroes were now stranded without their only source of power.
Suddenly, a blue blur zoomed up to our heroes.
"Hey fellas, got here just in time!" Sonic said as he skidded to a stop.
"Eggman, Bowser, and Smithy got away!" Mario grabbed Sonic by his arm. "We have to stop them before they get to Dimentio and Bill Gates!"
Another blue figure appeared before our heroes. It looked like a wooden doll dressed in a blue cloak.
"Geno?!" Mario's eyes widened.
"Yes. I have come to help you stop your enemies. The Star Road is once again in jeopardy, and I have heard of your plight. Will you accept my assistance?"
"Yes! Thank you! Thank the Stars!" Mario cried out, hugging Geno.
"Ok so now that everyone's introduced, let's get going shall we?" Sonic said. "I'll crack that Eggman wide open!"
And so our heroes were once again off on their mission to restore peace to the universe.
Back at Xbox Castle, Bill Gates was watching these events unfold on Dimentio's crystal ball.
"Damn! They have more help now?" Bill Gates said as he clenched his fists.
A knock at the door, and Eggman, Bowser, and Smithy charged in.
"We have the Chaos Emeralds!" Eggman declared.
"Excellent." Bill Gates said as he rubbed his hands together menacingly. "My plan is almost complete!"
"How are we supposed to get into the Xbox Castle? I mean, I know we flew here on Zapdos, but he isn't here any more. I think I know the only way back..." Kooper said grimly.
"What...?" Everyone said nervously.
Kooper got a dark look in his eyes. "We have to go through Super Mario World...."
"Oh why are you whining?" Mario replied. "That's the easiest Mario game ever."
"Then how come I couldn't get past Donut Plains 2?"
"Because you suck at easy games..."
"Guys, calm down!" Fox yelled. "The only way we'll get back in the Xbox Castle is by completing the Special World!"
"...and how do we get there?"
"Through the Secret Exit in Star World 5. We need to find all of Dinosaur Land's Switch Palaces."
"Oh great. So we basically get to go through Super Mario World again?"
"Pretty much."
Our heroes have now set off on an adventure through Dinosaur Land to find the four switch palaces. Their first step was to find the Yellow Switch Palace. But where could that be?
"Hey! wait for me!" A familiar blue dragon came running over towards the NL crew.
"NO! can't this guy ever die!" said fox " It seems fate is a powerful force" replied meta knight " No... i thought we finally got rid of this guy..." drawled kooper " Who is this funny blue guy" said sonic." " Hey guys it's me, Jamouse! aren't you glad to see me?" "We thought you died" said mario "Yeah and you guys were all seperated! what i am trying to say is that the plot of this story has gone down the drain!" Replied Jamouse "It seems Bill Gates' Red Ring of death has allready corrupted part of the universe." said meta knight. "Quick we must hurry and find the star switches" said mario. And so it came to be that Jamouse rejoined the NL crew (Not Again!)
They party continued until they spotted a Goomba. "I GOTS IT!" Yells Jamouse, before he tripped over his feet and fell on the Goomba and died. Or did he?
The party continued until they spotted a Dragoon by the name of Alex Highwind. "I'm here to help you kill Bill Gates." "Alright," replied Mario, "Show me your moves! AW CRAP! I'm turning into- FALCON PAWNCHHH!" Alex Highwind was then knocked into the sky and disappeared (Much like team Rocket.) Mario made a face like this: O_o and kept walking. After walking a little bit more, Mario began to bubble up. "HOLEEE CRAP! I'ma gonna die!" There was a flash of light as Mario changed into: CAPTAIN FALCON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SPREAD THE JOY OF THE GREAT TURTLE
HE IS UPON US AND WILL TAKE US TO THE GREAT WAVE
JOIN THE COURT OF TURTLES AND BE REDEEMED THE COURT OF TURTLES
Then suddenly, Epona appeared out of nowhere and stomped on the worm until it died. Then she magically disappeared. "What do we do now? The worm's dead," Fox asked.
YOU WILL NEVER RISE FROM THE ASHES OF YOUR SHAME AND HUMILIATION!
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Topic: The Nintendo Life Adventure!
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