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1. Posted: Mon 19th Oct 2009 18:07 BST
...with Chicken, Dragon, and Corbie joining me on the Satellite of Love. I'm not sure who would read this, but I received multiple requests to post an edited transcript of the chat, which was comprised of my running impressions of Bit Boy as I played through it. The backstory: I helped Chicken with a computer mic problem, and as a "reward" he gifted me this game.
As a disclaimer, many opinions are exaggerated for the sake of our personal amusement in the chat. In many ways, I think the game actually works well as a sort of "B-Game" (like a B-movie), with its cheaply produced, poor representations of a classic game type, which makes it amusing to play through for the sake of a few laughs. Whether or not this was the developer's intention... I doubt it.
I've bolded where discussion of each individual mini-game begins for ease of reference. Feel free to share your own impressions of the game, good or bad, but please no mindless bashing.
*** Now talking in Nintendo Life Chat..
[19:01] Adam: Time for some Bit Boy.[19:01] Adam: Yay?[19:02] Chicken Brutus: Ooh, we get Bit Boy commentary from Adam[19:02] Chicken Brutus: ...wish this was a youtube vid.
[19:02] Adam: Nice unassuming title screen... Okay so far.[19:02] Adam: Oh my gosh, they vomited on my screen. What is this?[19:03] Adam: They really have no sense of color coordination.[19:03] Chicken Brutus: Honestly Adam, I wonder if they're colorblind. All of them. I can't imagine anyone would create screens that clash so badly intentionally
[19:03] Adam: That voice sound bit is disturbing. Sounds like a mix between a demon's voice and a burp.[19:04] Chicken Brutus: It's Satan farting the word "Kubi"
[19:04] Adam: The "game select" screen is a nice touch. I like how they gave them names like "Super Bit Boy" and such.
[19:05] Adam: 4-bit will have to be first. Joystick control? Interesting...[19:05] Adam: Awesome, the controller just stopped responding after I ate my second dot. I like that. Nice feature.[19:06] Chicken Brutus: It's to simulate the unreliability of the Atari[19:06] Adam: I guess Kubi never learned advance maneuvers such as "go right."[19:06] Adam: I can sympathize.[19:06] Corbie: Kubi is a little "slow"[19:07] Corbie: He has special needs[19:07] Chicken Brutus: Is Kubi the first sweetly retarded video game hero?[19:07] Adam: Oh, you can use the D-pad instead. Nice.[19:08] Chicken Brutus: Yeah, I think I bothered with the "joystick control" for all of 11 seconds[19:08] Ravage: is he responding after getting his second dot now?[19:08] Corbie: Me too Phil, if even that long
[19:09] Ravage: how was your first dot? did it taste good? was it enjoyable? did you ******?[19:09] Adam: Ravage, a lady wouldn't tell.[19:10] Chicken Brutus: Nor would a gentleman ask, Ravage!
[19:09] Adam: They seriously did program required dead end passages with random AI patterns. I guess this is some artistic message.[19:10] Adam: Wow, you can die after the level is over.[19:10] Corbie: Fun huh[19:11] Adam: I guess that's my punishment for putting the controller down between levels.[19:11] Corbie: You gotta get the full experience[19:11] Ravage: how does that work?[19:11] Chicken Brutus: Oh God, yeah, I hated that[19:11] Adam: The enemies all freeze after you win, but you don't freeze.[19:11] Chicken Brutus: The enemies keep moving after you finish the level[19:11] Corbie: It's the gift that keeps on giving[19:11] Adam: For some reason, you can still move, even though you don't need to.[19:11] Chicken Brutus: They froze for you Adam?[19:11] Adam: Actually, the enemies don't move, at least not in 4-bit.[19:11] theblackdragon: wtf, you can die after the level is over?[19:11] Adam: Yep, in each level.[19:11] Chicken Brutus: My *****ing enemies keep moving[19:11] Adam: I'm playing Classic, if that makes any difference, not warp.[19:12] Chicken Brutus: What?! You've got a positive glitch on your hands[19:12] Adam: Well, fortunately, my enemies aren't ****ing either. I guess I got the improved version.[19:12] Chicken Brutus: My favorite thing is that with 2 players, one player can actually spawn INSIDE the thing that the baddies live in[19:12] Adam: Clarification: Enemies do keep moving, but only to the end of their current movement (i.e., an enemy moving left will go left until he hits a wall and stop)
[19:12] Adam: Time for some 8-bit action. This has got to be where it's at.[19:12] Adam: Oh, I'm not allowed to play the 8-bit one. Cool[19:13] Adam: I guess they're trying to protect me.[19:13] Chicken Brutus: Bit Boy definitely makes you sing for your supper.[19:13] Adam: An honorable cause.[19:13] Chicken Brutus: And then you find out that supper is a pile of bird crap on a triscuit[19:14] V8 Ninja joined the conversation[19:15] theblackdragon: @ninja: adam was gifted Bit Boy by chicken[19:16] Chicken Brutus: I kept telling Adam how much I hated him, but he wouldn't believe me. I had to prove it.[19:16] Adam: 13000 points. I'm not sure if I want to identify myself with this game by putting my initials in. Maybe I could pretend the game just appeared on my SD card.[19:16] theblackdragon: @chicken: after that break-up song, he deserved something special i think[19:16] theblackdragon: put in Orlick's initials[19:18] Adam: I'll just make it a subtle deviation of my initials so no one notices... AP....Q.[19:18] Adam: Oh, I actually got the lowest score, nevermind. 6000. Awesome.[19:18] Adam: Not sure how you can even really improve your score much.[19:18] Adam: Not much score-based to it, surprisingly, despite the supposed old school roots.[19:19] Chicken Brutus: Don't forget to upload your score to the online leaderboards, adam
[19:19] Adam: All right, now it's 8-bit time! Featuring "beepy sound effects."[19:20] Adam: 8-bit is certainly an improvement. Maybe by 16-bit we'll have a coherent game. The anticipation is killing me.[19:21] Chicken Brutus: Oh 16 bit is my "favorite."[19:21] Adam: I like the addition of the coffin and skull and crossbones in the center screen. Symbolic of the death of the gamer? Maybe.[19:21] Chicken Brutus: Especially since in an interview they said their inspiration for the 16-bit era was A Link to the Past.[19:21] Adam: I find your use of quotation marks disturbing.[19:21] Adam: Wow.... This I have to see for myself.[19:21] Chicken Brutus: You have to wonder if they played A Link to the Past while being beaten with reeds
[19:22] Adam: Oh, I have an "attack." I wonder what that does.[19:23] Adam: I mean, I have no arms or legs.[19:23] Adam: How can I possibly attack? In fact, how am I moving?[19:24] Chicken Brutus: Niki could attack, Adam! How could you forget?[19:24] Adam: I have been trying my hardest to.[19:25] Chicken Brutus: I have to assume Bit Boy is a big improvement on that game at least...[19:25] Chicken Brutus: ...right?[19:25] Adam: Oh, surprisingly, yes, it is a huge improvement, I'm sorry to say.
[19:27] Adam: 16-bit features "well animated 2D sprites." I will be the judge.[19:28] Chicken Brutus: Adam, this commentary needs to be reposted in the forum. This would enrich the lives of many people[19:29] Adam: This is sort of like Link to the Past. It reminds me of when you go to the Dark World without the Moon Pearl and can't do anything.[19:29] theblackdragon: remember, no outright bashing threads[19:30] Chicken Brutus: Let's all say something nice about Bit Boy then[19:30] Chicken Brutus: ...[19:30] Chicken Brutus: somebody else go first.[19:30] Xkhaoz: I want Bit Boy[19:30] Ravage: the first dot was orgasmic [19:30] Adam: That other thread was different. They started it with the intent of creating a lynch mob for some random game.[19:31] Adam: One person's commentary, which isn't entirely bad, mind you (I like the title screen!), isn't "bashing."[19:33] SuperSonic1990: I actually like Bit Boy a lot, good game.
[19:36] Adam: Weird, the game just randomly zoomed in and out and then stopped. Must be the "2D Zoom Effects" they touted on the information screen.[19:36] Adam: I'm ... impressed. No, that's not the word. I'm at a loss for words tonight.[19:36] Chicken Brutus: Is this still 16 bit?[19:37] Adam: Yes[19:37] Chicken Brutus: My favorite thing they took from Link to the Past is how the main character swells and pulses as he moves instead of actually animating.[19:38] Adam: My favorite is how the game plays exactly like the previous ones.[19:38] Adam: Because A Link to the Past is a Pac-Man clone afterall.[19:38] Ravage: so rather than the "2D zoom effects" being used at certian times to give a better atmosphere the developers made another horrendous design. I'm shocked [19:39] Adam: It's not even zooming during the actual level. Before the level starts, it zooms in and out randomly, then gets situated at the normal perspective.[19:39] Adam: And only happens on this one level after plenty of normal levels with no "intro" or anything.[19:40] Chicken Brutus: That's "dynamic initial perspective manipulation"[19:40] Chicken Brutus: You wouldn't get it, Adam[19:40] Chicken Brutus: You're not in the industry[19:40] Adam: There is also a neat feature where they put one of the items you need on a block that you can't reach. Reminds me of the Book of Mudora in LttP, except you don't have the Pegasus Boots here to knock it off.[19:40] Adam: Ingenius.[19:41] Chicken Brutus: Yep. That's a staircase, Adam. That big red monstrosity that you can't climb back up on[19:41] Chicken Brutus: Just like a real staircase, you can't climb back up after you've descended[19:41] Adam: I can tell that they spent much more time developing this level than Bit Trip took. It must have taken ages to figure out how to place essential items out of reach.[19:42] Adam: Oh, and like a real staircase, there is no sense of perspective to let you know which end is the top and which is the bottom, neat![19:42] Chicken Brutus: Honestly, if this took them 100 times longer to make than it took Gaijin to make Bit Trip, that's not something they should advertise[19:43] Chicken Brutus: It would take me at least 100 times longer to make a game, too, but that's no compliment.
[19:43] Adam: Mmm, nothing like a nice Hylian banana to increase my score.[19:43] Chicken Brutus: Just wait until you fight the boss at the end of the dungeon, Adam
[19:43] Adam: Time to take this sucker to the third dimension![19:44] Adam: "Clunky 3D polygon objects," "long CD load times," ... they advertise this before the game starts.[19:44] Chicken Brutus: The third dimension is going to shockingly resemble the second one[19:45] Adam: Oh, and it's "semi-realistic" Can't wait to witness this. It'll be hard to top the previous game's "well-animated sprites."[19:45] Adam: I like the load screen.[19:45] Chicken Brutus: It's so semi-realistic, you'll somewhat-feel like you're kinda-there.[19:46] Adam: What game is this one inspired by, Chicken?[19:46] Chicken Brutus: Um, general PS1 I think. The next level is inspired by Mario 64.[19:46] Chicken Brutus: Not that we'd ever know that if BPlus didn't assure us that was the case[19:47] Adam: Oh, it does remind me of that one level in Mario 64 now that I think about it. The one where Mario takes up half the screen and you can't see far enough to react to anything.[19:48] Adam: The load screen is more enjoyable than the level.[19:48] Adam: I like the little heart.
[19:55] Adam: 64-bit time. Let's see Bit Mario.[19:55] Adam: "Cute and colourful look." Well, I'm sure there will be colours, I'm sure of that.[19:56] Chicken Brutus: Try to remember you're playing Bit Boy. You're liable to forget and think you're playing Mario 64 on the VC[19:57] Adam: It feels just like Mario except without a jump button and all I do is move inanimately trying to get little dots.[19:57] Chicken Brutus: I think they confused Mario with Pacman[19:57] Chicken Brutus: And Link with Pacman[19:57] Chicken Brutus: And Solid Snake with Pacman[19:57] Adam: And without the fun, but let's not nitpick.[19:58] Chicken Brutus: And Pacman with a pile of...[19:58] Adam: It's basically Mario.[19:58] theblackdragon: that is the best reduction sequence ever
[19:59] Adam: You know how it says "THANK YOU!!" whenever you get one of the dots? I just got one as I died, and it looked like my dying character was shouting THANK YOU!! at the heavens. It seemed appropriate, somehow.[19:59] Adam: Ooh, they added a randomly rotating camera feature so that the d-pad doesn't always line up precisely with the direction of movement. Experimental![20:00] Chicken Brutus: Oh God, really? I think I forgot about bad the last half of that game was[20:01] Adam: When I change from a vertical motion to horizontal (or vice versa) the camera changes to a diagonal viewpoint until you change direction again, even though there is no diagonal movement. It's beautiful.
[20:08] Adam: Wow, how 3D. They start me off on top of a tower.... except the only thing to do is jump off the tower, and there is no way to get back up, so the only purpose is to show that "Hey, this is 3D." ... and perhaps to put the idea of jumping off a tower[20:08] Adam: into the gamer's head, if it isn't already there.[20:09] Chicken Brutus: I wonder why Kubi climbed to the top of the tower before the level started[20:09] Chicken Brutus: What a waste of effort[20:09] Adam: And all without arms.
[20:10] Adam: Time to see what a REAL Wii game looks like. All right, Bit Boy, time to shine.[20:11] Chicken Brutus: Don't forget, Adam...you can jump now![20:11] Adam: Wow, "huge world to explore." It's the same size as the last level.[20:11] Adam: Oh, I can jump? Awesome. Just like Wii games![20:12] Chicken Brutus: By shaking the Wiimote! Which is, sadly, an accurate observation about most Wii games. Unnecessary motion controls to do the same thing a button could have done, but worse[20:12] Adam: If you want to talk about unnecessary motion controls, look no further than the bizarre zoom method.[20:13] Adam: Tilt the controller forward to zoom, seriously? So if I want to see my Bit Boy close enough to play well, I have to have to get carpal tunnel bending my wrists forward?[20:13] Adam: Seems like a fair trade-off.[20:13] Adam: It'd be different if it were a toggle, but you have to keep it like that to play, so you are playing with the D-pad facing away from you to get a good zoom.[20:13] Adam: Which of course makes directions opposite, too.[20:13] Chicken Brutus: Jeez, I don't think I even knew about the tilt-zoom[20:14] Chicken Brutus: Shows how much Bit Boy I still have to experience![20:15] theblackdragon: hahaha, do you really want to experience it, though?
[20:15] Adam: Is there anything you can even jump over...?[20:15] Adam: I can jump, but not high, and there are no low objects I see... not that I'd be able to tell since the camera is overhead.[20:16] Chicken Brutus: According to Wiiloveit you can jump over enemies[20:16] Chicken Brutus: I've never managed it though[20:16] Chicken Brutus: I think it's a trick on his part to make me play longer by dying so much more[20:16] Adam: Oh, I can jump on this log. Awesome. Stupid log, you can't stop me.[20:17] Adam: Reminds me of that log jumping Wii game.[20:17] Adam: Frogger was on Wii, right?[20:17] Chicken Brutus: Just look up Super Mario Galaxy on youtube, TBD.[20:17] Chicken Brutus: It's very similar[20:17] Adam: Oh, I do have a webcam on this computer. I didn't even think about it.[20:18] Chicken Brutus: It inspired the Bit Boy Wii levels![20:18] Odnetnin: Bit Boy = SMG[20:18] Chicken Brutus: Damn Adam, I would have killed to record this playthrough. Youtube gold[20:19] Adam: You could gift me Plattchen and I could record that.[20:20] Adam: I love exploring these huge worlds of ugly houses, logs, and randomly frozen logs.
[20:21] hobbes: Thank you Adam for tortuing yourself for our amusement [20:21] theblackdragon: yes, adam, thank you for torturing yourself for our amusement[20:22] theblackdragon: and thank you, chicken, for putting forth the wii points for our amusement[20:22] Adam: All the enemies in this level are crammed in one area where there aren't any dots to get. This is feeling more and more like a Wii game: unnecessary motion controls, little-to-know challenge, and lots and lots of logs.[20:22] Chicken Brutus: Believe me, it's my pleasure
[20:39] Adam: Oh my, there is even a game out of the credits[20:39] Adam: And WiiLoveIt is thanked. How surprising.[20:39] Chicken Brutus: Actually the credits game IS kind of a cool idea[20:39] Chicken Brutus: shame it's THIS game[20:40] Adam: "No pixels were harmed in the making of this game." They say. I strongly disagree.[20:40] Adam: I've seen what they've done to these poor pixels.[20:40] Adam: And I'll never be the same.[20:41] Adam: It just listed "Level Design" as a credits heading and the game froze for a moment. At first I thought it was because no one actually worked on level design, but then I realized it was because I just died.[20:41] Chicken Brutus: LEVEL DESIGN - absent[20:42] Chicken Brutus: LEVEL DESIGN - now hiring
[20:42] Adam: Oh, the game just keeps going and cycling the credits. I guess I can quit now. Is that okay? Even torture chambers need to have breaks sometimes.[20:43] Adam: Do I even want to try this Warp Mode?[20:43] Chicken Brutus: Yeah, feel free to quit. There's also a mode where you collect time diamonds rather than Kubis. Which IS more fun. But that's not saying much[20:43] Chicken Brutus: That's it...Warp Mode. Couldn't remember what it was called[20:44] Adam: Haha, I like how they have an "I am not sure" option when asked if you really want to quit.[20:47] Adam: Ah, this is much better. A million times better. If I had to rate Warp Mode on its own, I'd give it a 1.[20:49] hobbes: CB, what did Adam send you?[20:50] Chicken Brutus: Hobbes, he didn't send me anything, but he helped me fix my computer. This was my way of saying "Thanks" and "Get away from me" at the same time[20:58] Chicken Brutus: Yeah hobbes, but they only invest 1/100th of the effort that BPlus invested in Bit Boy[20:58] Chicken Brutus: They should be ashamed.
[21:00] Chicken Brutus: Corbie! You missed it[21:00] Corbie: what?[21:00] Chicken Brutus: Adam gave live, running commentary on his Bit Boy play through[21:01] Corbie: Bet that was exciting.[21:01] theblackdragon: not so much exciting as 'freaking hilarious'[21:01] Corbie: Okay
Edited on Mon 19th October, 2009 @ 18:39 by Adam
Loose your heart like a clumsy bell.
2. Posted: Mon 19th Oct 2009 18:24 BST
This is really funny. Remind me to never do Chicken any favors.
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3. Posted: Mon 19th Oct 2009 18:29 BST
Hahaha, oh my, thank you for that. I also received this game for free, although I feel a bit dirty explaining how... oh well, might as well just say it. I won the contest he was running over at WiiLoveIt.com, prize being one free gift of Bit Boy. All I had to do in order to win was spot a certain icon hidden in different places on his site, and being lazy, I used a recursive script (a bit of unix fun with wget) to seek them out for me. Yeah, I probably shouldn't have admitted to script-cheating... my prize might be stripped from me now.
I don't believe Wiiloveit ever connected me, the warioswoods of NintendoLife, with the anonymous guy who won his contest, but if he ever checks my friend code in my signature, he'll see that I am indeed that guy.
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4. Posted: Mon 19th Oct 2009 18:35 BST
Ohhhhhhhhhh my goodness. That was hilarious.
Edited on Mon 19th October, 2009 @ 18:35 by pixelman
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5. Posted: Mon 19th Oct 2009 18:36 BST
@WarioIn a perverse way, I enjoy playing a bad game if it's free, so I hope your Bit Boy time was at least entertaining in that way, too. I might have been equally amused by Niki Rock N Ball if I wasn't think the whole time how I could have spent those few bucks on potato chips or toilet paper or anything else more entertaining.
Totally not worth the risk. Take it from someone who's been there.
Edited on Mon 19th October, 2009 @ 18:37 by Adam
6. Posted: Mon 19th Oct 2009 18:44 BST
I certainly enjoyed my free play through... the earlier stages were relatively fun for various reasons, even with the bad AI and other unfortunate choices. The 3D levels were horrid, though. I think it might actually be a propaganda film made by some fringe historical revisionists who believe the 3rd dimension was the downfall of gaming.
7. Posted: Mon 19th Oct 2009 18:47 BST
I think it might actually be a propaganda film made by some fringe historical revisionists who believe the 3rd dimension was the downfall of gaming.
I nominate this post for Hall of Fame status.
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8. Posted: Mon 19th Oct 2009 18:48 BST
I love mst3k!
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9. Posted: Mon 19th Oct 2009 18:49 BST
Adam is, some fringe historical revisionist who believes the 3rd dimension was the downfall of gaming.
10. Posted: Mon 19th Oct 2009 18:52 BST
... I... um.... uh...
I have no defense here, do I? Dammit, I've just been associated with BPlus. Touche.
Edited on Mon 19th October, 2009 @ 18:52 by Adam
11. Posted: Mon 19th Oct 2009 19:00 BST
Will you be blessing the chat with any future live playthroughs?
12. Posted: Mon 19th Oct 2009 19:10 BST
Probably not. The only other games I'm planning to get on WiiWare are Void and Cave Story this year, the former of which is not conducive to talking while playing and the latter is a game I've already played two or three times. If someone wants to gift me more games of questionable quality, I'll gladly do it again, perhaps with a camera on the TV next time.
I suppose I could try some old games I have, like Niki or some VC games, but unless I've forgotten a lot about the games, it won't be a genuine first-time reaction.
13. Posted: Mon 19th Oct 2009 20:45 BST
That was absolutely hilarious Adam! Thanks for posting this, it really made my day. I would love to see your torture continue for our entertainment. Perhaps, someone should consider gifting you Incoming.
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14. Posted: Mon 19th Oct 2009 23:06 BST
Nintendo Life Chat wrote:
[20:18] Odnetnin: Bit Boy = SMG
Five seconds of fame! Score!
Edited on Mon 19th October, 2009 @ 23:07 by Odnetnin
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15. Posted: Tue 20th Oct 2009 01:43 BST
LOL. Very nice!
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16. Posted: Tue 20th Oct 2009 05:23 BST
i definitely like the MST3k theme. here's hoping i'm present for when you do Niki... :3
the future of NL >:3
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17. Posted: Tue 20th Oct 2009 05:47 BST
Count on it. I can't do it without you and Chicken there. You guys are my robot friends.
18. Posted: Tue 20th Oct 2009 05:54 BST
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19. Posted: Tue 20th Oct 2009 06:13 BST
I'm thinking someone should gift him Pit Crew Panic.
20. Posted: Tue 20th Oct 2009 12:11 BST
You guys are my robot friends.