Cutie Clash Review (Wii U eShop)

Yazar Media Group's Cutie Clash is another entry in the Cutie Pets meta-series. Of all the other strange Cutie Pets games, Cutie Clash is the weirdest, most charming and ultimately most disappointing. A wacky one-hit multiplayer brawler, Cutie Clash could have been a parody of Super Smash Bros. had it been fleshed out more. But like the other games in this series it suffers from a lack of content and limited gameplay.

Cutie Clash is a one-hit 2D fighter that can be played with up to four people as different coloured ducks. Every player has the same attacks: barfing, bombs, jumping and running. No, barfing is not a creative liberty on the part of our editors; the main mechanic in Cutie Clash is the ability to barf. Getting hit by a barf attack or bomb means instant death, and after a few rounds a winner is declared. Players will be able to finish several sets of matches very quickly.

The competition takes place on randomised stages that have several levels. After a few moments a giant "mandeer" emerges from the marsh below and begins dropping fish, crates and treasure chests that drop temporary invulnerability shields. The ducks can't fly, but by aiming barf downward they can be elevated like a vomit-powered jetpack. The winner of five rounds gets to wear a crown in the next match, until they're killed; a silly, slow-mo death scene occurs for the "crown" duck.

Cutie Clash's controls feel very stiff. There were several times we killed ourselves by a command not registering, causing us to fall off the stage. With such a limited range of actions the controls should be smoother. Fortunately, the visuals run well and the marshland-style music isn't too grating; the art direction is a tad more messy than the other Cutie games, and it works. There's not much in the way of customisation, however, other than the ability to wear different hats.

But the most egregious and, frankly, unacceptable problem with Cutie Clash is that there's no way to play without multiple people. We're not asking for a story mode, but the ability to play against AI challengers would be nice. Instead the game begins on the player select screen and won't do anything until more than one player joins - the lack of any type of single player severely limits Cutie Clash's already-tenuous longevity.