Topic: (NA) Monster Hunter Tri online friends

Some random person I'm too lazy to write his name wrote:

So I decided to try out my troll set today. My gun specializes in rapid fire heal shots, pellet spam, and cluster spam. Ironically though, the best part was my armor set. I went out of my way to make a very attractive armor set for teh lulz, tinted hot pink.

So this guy comes in my room labeled "Playing With Friends," posts his quest, and says "help me." This sad guys name is Shadow.
Obviously this is irritating, so I whip out my hot armor and pellet spam gun and stock up on flash bombs, smoke bombs, and bring my trusty BBQ spit.

We were fighting Gobul, so the whole time I go underwater, I spam pellet timing it so that Shadow gets hit by Gobuls attacks. Over water, I spam flash bombs and smoke bombs (and Gobul underground+white screen = lulz). He soon runs out of potions and keeps running off to camp to heal. I take this opportunity to heal Gobul as much as I can with rapid fire heal shots and buff his defense and offense. I manage to get him to cart 3 times.

He says sorry, and somehow gets around to "I like you."
Now I'm wondering how exactly he likes me through all my trolling. Then he gets to "Will you be my girlfriend?"
It then hits me, he likes my armor set. He thinks Im a girl in real life too.

He instantly spams friend request messages asking me to date him. Im in shock, idk what to do. I was hoping to attract some noobs with my armor, but this guy just straight up asked me out. He constantly does it too.

So I start chatting with my other MH friends about this. They laugh, give some suggestions, eventually one wishes to join me. Here's basically how it went down after that.

Shadow: Will you be my gf?
Me: Uhh... well
Shadow: Plz?
Me: What are we hunting next?
Shadow: posts Rathian quest
Shadow: So will you be my gf?
Me: Lol seriously?
Shadow: Yes

At this point I decide to play along

Me: Well tell me about yourself
Shadow: Im nice
Me: Is that all?
Shadow: No

Soon, Rikir my friend arrives. I then bring out my girly side by typing with lotsa !!!!!s and <3s
Shadow then challenges me to an arm wrestle fight. I lose on purpose to look cute. He hits on me multiple times in front of Rikir (self esteem?), and spams friend request messages to him also. He sends me many more messages begging and friend requesting.

Me: Shadow I can't recieve messages right now for some stupid reason.
Rikir: Yeah me neither (not wanting to accept his friend requests). There must be a problem with the servers.

We then start the Ian quest again.

Shadow: So yes?
Me: Yes what?
Shadow: You know
Me: Honestly I don't, I'm very forgetful
Shadow: Will you be my gf?
Me: You still havent told me about yourself.
Shadow: I'm good, nice, cool, pretty
(At this point me and Rikir are cracking up)
Me: Ooooh
Shadow: So yes?
Me: Idk I just recently broke up with my last bf
Rikir: LOL. Oh yeah that guy was a douche
Shadow: Who?
Me: Ryan >
Me: He said I talked too much. Do I talk too much Shadow?
Shadow (Whispered): Not at all

The whole time I'm spamming heal shots and buffing the monster, along with a dose of pellet and cluster spam, and even mid battle BBQs. I manage to cart him once after pushing him into an Ian tail whip. Afterwards, he begs and pleads more for me to be his girlfriend. I then have to go do dishes, and then he gets DCed, along with Rikir, both unintentionally.

Now I'll admit, I could have taken it farther, but we only got a few quests in. I honestly was running dry on ideas, never expecting this, but man I was in tears with how desperate he was.