I see the word toxic used so much nowadays, but I just don't get it. Admittedly, a few comments get moderated before I might get to them, but to me it just feels like a bit too much fuss made about not a great deal.
The same can be said about a lot of the discourse surrounding social media.
We all have the freedom to ignore comments we don't appreciate. Be it via an ignore button or a turn of the virtual cheek. But all too often, people are CHOOSING to kick up a fuss and over-exaggerate the impact some random person's comments are supposedly having on them. Gluttons for drama. I normally try to avoid getting personal, but there was a recent episode of a user claiming they were leaving, then they weren't, then they were, then they weren't, and then they were. And all over very little so far as I could see. Much embarrassment. One less drama-maker now though, so that's a plus.
You guys had me at blood and semen.
What better way to celebrate than firing something out of the pipe?
I just wan't everyone to know, that to me, your all a part of this site, and losing any of you would hurt real bad, thats why I think we at least have this place, so people don't just leave out of the middle of no were.
Nintendo are like woman, You love them for whats on the inside, not the outside…you know what I mean! Luzlane best girl!
(My friend code is SW-7322-1645-6323, please ask me before you use it)
@gcunit Yeah, when people have disagreements I usually see them calling each other "toxic" and "troll", despite of not being appropriate/accurate in that situation in my opinion.
About people saying that they will abandon the site and not really doing it, I have seen more than one. Just to clarify, I'm not saying that you should really leave or that you shouldn't return (directed to everyone), but I think that it does seem as a way to ask for attention when that happens instead of an actual heads up for the people that you know. Personally I recommend to take some time and, to avoid those situations, to really meditate about what you really want. That's just me though, sorry if it seems insensible.
I do prefer to see familiar users being active even if we don't always agree and many might not know me as I'm not that active despite having my share of time on this site though. For the most part, I really enjoy this community and I think that many feel the same way so if you need time away, take it, but I insist on this advice : really meditate it and tell that you'll leave as a ultimate option.
@BloodNinja I've not seen the post to which you refer, but when it comes to being called names, I look at it like this:
They were either (a) right, you are a Nazi, and therefore you shouldn't have any reason to object to being called one, or they were (b) wrong, you're not a Nazi and they've embarrassed themselves with childish name-calling.
By that reasoning (which seems pretty bulletproof to me), if you were to claim you were bothered by being called a Nazi by an internet random, it would show you to be either (i) lacking in the maturity/intelligence to appreciate the reasoning that should be applied when someone calls you a name, as I've outlined above, or (ii) disingenuous, just looking to make more out of it than it warrants.
To be clear, I don't know whether the Nazi thing bothered you or not, but if it did, I'd be interested to know your answers to the following questions:
1. Are you a Nazi?
2. Do you lack the maturity/intelligence to appreciate the (a) & (b) reasoning above?
Now, as to whether calling someone a Nazi in the comments section of a NL article is toxic behaviour or not, I looked up a random definition of 'toxic':
You can probably tell from my reasoning above, I don't really think name-calling is poisonous, or harmful/malicious, or extremely harsh. You could argue such behaviour somehow devalues the comments section, but however one attributes value to such a thing, I don't think that behaviour could reasonably be said to bring the value down to zero. So I guess my conclusion is that no, I don't think a bit of name-calling is toxic.
I do find the current cultural direction of travel regarding name-calling and 'being offended' a bit disconcerting. There's a massive swathe of people and media insisting that name-calling and trolling is about the worst thing in the world, and I think it's a mix of misguided people, and people being disingenuous about it - bandwagon-hopping to enhance their own profile.
Every time someone insists a word is derogatory and unacceptable, it weaponises that word, and turns a molehill into a mountain. Humanity needs to let go of the idea that words are harmful. Actions are harmful; words are harmless. Racial slurs, sexuality/gender slurs, basically all slurs, we need to let them go. They don't matter. Black lives matter, but black slurs don't. LGBTQ+ lives matter, but LGBTQ+ slurs don't. It's not the word that bothers you, it's the fact someone's trying to insult you/get a rise out of you that does. Grow up, you look so ****ing infantile jumping on your keyboards in faux protestation. The words are the weapons, and we can all render those weapons harmless by agreeing they don't hurt us.
I invite anyone reading this: call me, or say to me, whatever you like. Try to hurt me with words. Use any words you think could offend me. Send it to [email protected] if you don't want to breach any rules here. But I'll tell you now - YOU CANNOT HURT ME OR OFFEND ME WITH ANY WORDS.
@gcunit Nobody said I was hurt by it, and you didn’t bother asking, but you were curious about an example of toxicity in the comments. I reported it so it got removed. Moving right along. Man, you over-explained the heck out of that!
@BloodNinja No, I didn't bother asking, but I did invite you to indicate if it did bother you with the questions I posed. Happy to take the fact you didn't take me up on them as confirmation that you weren't bothered. You can stop mentioning it now then, cos I've seen you bring it up elsewhere too 😜. But it does sound genuinely funny if your account of it is accurate (and I've no reason to think it isn't).
@gcunit Although I totally agree with you on the point about people being FAR too easily insulted nowadays, resulting in them either complaining, returning the favor or drawing the troll card, I do in all honesty have to say that I also don't appreciate name-calling either.
It's not that I am unable to handle it: I'm actually quite capable of dealing with it, much like you are from all appearances, but that doesn't mean that I have to like or accept it. I firmly believe that the anonymity of the internet gives power to individuals that, for the betterment of mankind, should never have gotten a voice in the first place, because they are the lowest of the low, some even doing this for the sole purpose of deriving pleasure out of getting a rise out of something or someone. And the rise of social media certainly hasn't helped in that regard either...
Either way, if someone would call me a Nazi to my face, I'd initially quite calmly ask them what they said, and if they would then find it necessary to repeat that, I'd (still calmly) suggest to them to walk away, but if they refuse and repeat their statement, then a short but decisive physical consequence would follow, in order to make it VERY clear to them that I don't appreciate these kinds of labels.
Unfortunately, that option doesn't exist when dealing with online morons, much to my dismay, sometimes, and I'm not really a fan of using the "ignore" button: I still see that as the ultimate example of defeatism, because what you're basically doing, is "hiding the baddies", so they can't bother you anymore, but that's basically you bending to them, and as such more or less punishing yourself for something that someone else did wrong, which is obviously the world upside down.
'The console wars are like boobs: Sony and Microsoft fight over which ones look the nicest and Nintendo's are the most fun to play with.'
@PoliticallyIncorrect
The only problem with 'tell it like it is' types is that they are telling it like they think it is which isn't necessarily how some one else thinks it is.
2. Do you lack the maturity/intelligence to appreciate the (a) & (b) reasoning above?
😛
In seriousness, why would someone calling you that a few times trigger you to resort to unlawful physical violence? What is it about that word that offends? If you're a Nazi I'd imagine you'd be cool with owning up to it. If you're not a Nazi, which I'm guessing you're not, don't you agree that someone mistakenly calling you one is harmless to you and embarrassing to them?
@gcunit I suppose the difference lies in being called something directed at your own person. If someone on the street somewhere would shout "hey, you Nazi", then I'd probably ignore it, also because it wouldn't be certain that it was actually directed at me.
But if a person is either tagging me online or standing in front of me in real life, doing the same, then it would be a personal insult. I'm all for the whole sticks and stones rule, but on the other hand, I don't like unnecessary insults and people getting in my personal space without reason or invitation, so I might be triggered by it.
As for hitting someone being unlawful: I'd say that's the risk of the game they're playing, so it comes with the territory of being an individual that enjoys insulting other people. Some will shrug, some will walk away, I will correct or punish you.
On a side note: I now just used the word Nazi as an example, because that was also the example that you were using, but the same would go for any other insulting word or slur.
And over here, in the Netherlands, people also like to swear and do name-calling with terminal diseases, which might potentially be extra insulting, especially if you have a family member suffering from such a disease or already having passed away because of it.
Side note 2: I'm officially classified as what hipsters might call an "uber-empath", provided they'd be able to understand and spell the word...
Either way, I'm highly empathic, and in my younger years I also had anger management issues. Over time, I was able to learn how to handle and suppress the anger part of my brain (also thanks to martial arts), but still, the two things tempt to clash in my head whenever certain applicable situations arise. I see and feel other people's pains more than the average Joe, hence me not being really good with handling and/or accepting injustice, and when that comes to a certain boiling point, then my old me might surface.
As mentioned before, I normally do have a complete handle on my anger nowadays, but there's a certain limit that each individual can get to, before they break, snap or revert to baser emotions, and I suppose that's were my old self comes in. Luckily, it seldomly happens.
@k8sMum In general, I'd agree with that statement about people telling it like it is, but some of the more down to Earth/open-minded individuals do have a knack for actually using facts and constructive and/or deductive reasoning to support their statements, something which I also always try to do, in which case they actually ARE telling it like it is...
'The console wars are like boobs: Sony and Microsoft fight over which ones look the nicest and Nintendo's are the most fun to play with.'
@ThanosReXXX Thanks for elaborating. What I think you've done there, though, is indicate that it's not the word 'Nazi' that bothers you, but the action of someone standing before you trying to insult you, whatever words they might use. Which supports my point that it's actions, not words, that hurt/offend people.
@gcunit Yeah, I suppose that's a fair point, so I agree. I kind of already did when saying that I just used the word Nazi as an example, for the sole reason of you also using that in your own comments.
And you're welcome. It's actually not something I talk about easily in real life. That's one of the things that actually IS good about online discussions: the anonymity also protects, so we can speak freely, and get things off our chests that we normally might hold inside.
In my experience people who tout that they '"tell it like it is" are only making a virtue out of being cruel. They are not actually telling it like it is. They're just bullies.
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