See, that's the problem. You're drinking from a well which you have convincing evidence has been poisoned, trying to get enjoyment before the toxin kicks in.
You can only pick one culprit in the situation you've described: who are you going to believe, your girlfriend or your own lying eyes?
@Rebecca: Well thats all fine and good...if she infact did it which I have made clear that although that is what I had believed, I have given her the benefit of the doubt on this one. If down the line I do obtain hard evidence of her thievory in this incident or possibly another down the road and there is no question that she did it, then yeah, it's pretty much over. I see what your saying and if it did turn out that she was just playing me for a fool, then shes done.
See, this is what I mean - it really doesn't sound like you're giving her the benefit of the doubt at all.
It sound more like you're trying to convince yourself to stick it out until you can conclusively prove she stole the money and you can then drop her. That's a far, far cry from believing her innocent.
True I dont, maybe I am being a bit strong in my suggestion. But I've also never had anyone that close steal from me, most of my exes respected me on that level at least; even the rotten ones. So to me personally that sort of thing would be akin to a big ol slap in the face.
On the flip side, its NEVER any fun for anyone being in the relationship where one wronged the other and suddenly theres that hanging doubt or something. Because that small thing can become a constant niggle and then something that plays on the mind. If the guy is strong enough to get over it thats cool, I respect that. Your young and still got plenty to learn, just remember; what doesn't kill ya makes you stronger whatever happens : )
i would torture her...psychologically of course! make her breakfast, and arrange some part of the breakfast so it would look like a 20. tell her; "i saw 20 ducks cross over the street in front of me", or dogs, horses, whatever....say; "i bought 20 different candies today, want some?".....and uhh....say; "today at the supermarket, they gave me a 20 dollar change in 1 dollar bills....can you believe it?" etc etc. whatever suits the situation and it should blend well in the conversation. and after a day or two of doing so (if u are sadistic and creative you can do it a whole week) u can confront her and ask her about the money.
bear trap sounds nice too....should be good to hear when it clings when you're around.
and while your at it, throw in a lugh track and a snappy theme song and make a sitcom where sillllllly antics happen!!
bboy: hey i saw 20 ducks today laugh track girlfriend: wow, what the hell? thats a lot of ducks laugh track bboy: yeah i guess it was, its like 20 times as weird as a caterpillar laugh track bboy: oh, the pancakes are done! oh thats odd, your came out in the shape of a twenty! laugh track girlfriend: thats odd laugh track bboy:i got this mix importedfrom peru...it cost 20 dollars laugh track girlfriend: thats expensive laugh track bboy: yeah laugh track girlfriend: yep laugh track Snappy theme song plays!
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The user formerly known as briunj04
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It's as simple as this: if the girl is stealing from you, break up with her. I don't care how awesome she is, that's just unacceptable. Unless of course she had a really, really good reason, which she probably doesn't.
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Not only is she a thief, but she's a liar. That's two strikes already. I don't even know you, but I can tell you that you deserve better than that. You may have your reasons for keeping her around, but I think you should find somebody who will at least admit when she screws up.
If a dude kept 1000 in a game case, I would hope someone would take it all to teach him a very valuable lesson.
wow. :/
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In my case I live with three friends in an apartment and even if I told them I had money in a case, it'd take them like a week of working together just to go through them all. lol
There's a lot of people that don't like keeping all their money in a bank. And this way it's easy to say if you're gone somewhere and someone needs money, 'Yeah go look in Battalion Wars on the Gamecube shelf'.
I think its Ok what you are doing (but dont let my opinion, or anyone else be the guide or standard that proves you right or wrong) , even if you are trying to convince yourself that she didnt (as some people have posted) because it has a logical reasoning behind: You could missundertand or ignore information about the clues you got, and as everyone of us you could be wrong. I think only smart people accept this fact, and yes, I also know there IS the possibility of her being guilty, but that isnt enough to point at someone as culprit.
Furthermore, imagine this: Vague clues point to you in a crime you didnt commit... Wouldnt you expect laws' benefit of doubt and your loved ones' thrust? ... Empathy, my friend, empathy!
Of course, it you dont trust her for reasons prior to this and you dont feel like going on, listen to your guts man.
Come on guys chill down, if he hasnt suficcient and competent hard thievory evidence neither we have, so we cant assume the girlfriend is a thief nor a liar. Lets try to take this with most objectivity possible in order to be helpful.
And once more, I know I could be wrong but I also know this might be of help.
Don't ask her. That's awkward. Don't hint at it, that's pathetic. She's not dating you for your money if you only have a hundred or so in a Mario box, she obviously likes you enough to be with you for one reason or another so cherish that and keep letting it grow until she can ask you for what she wants instead of feeling like she has to steal it. If she asked for 20 bucks you would have given it to her, right? Maybe you need to treat her like you're a little more giving, depending on the seriousness of your relationship. Buy her more gifts or give her more compliments. Ignore the crap other people have to say about her, everybody knows everybody differently. Only break up with her her if you feel in your heart it's time to split. You don't need advice besides this: get your ducks in a row. Your girlfriend just stole money from you. How do you interpret that? How do you go about fixing whatever it is that makes her feel like she needs to go behind your back, without mentioning the incident? Just act and adapt to the situation quickly and with a clear mind. Don't hold it in and get all quiet and emotional. She won't understand and she'll end up leaving you if it goes on too long, and bottled emotions never go away entirely. They leave little stains, and eventually things get too messy and can't be fixed. If you're really cool and know how to not let things stain you and even try your best to clean other people's stains, good things will come your way. If you absolutely MUST hint at it, however, watch the episode of Seinfeld with her where Jerry realizes that everything balances out in the end. You know the one.
Oh my god...I wrote this in my brain as I read the other posts...and then I saw it here. It's dead on. Even scratch especially the Seinfeld reference!
I'm actually 17. Even though I am very sure of what she did, I decided to give her another chance for just the reasons you have outlined. I figured maybe if she did take it, she really needed it and is just embarrased to get caught. Also, if by some odd fluke I am mistaken somewhere, it would be pretty strawberry dumping her for something I wasn't 100% sure she did. I forgot who posted this but someone mentioned how everyone deserves a second chance and I agree.
Ahh denial, a blissful state of mind where you ignore the warning bells that rang off earlier and tell yourself that everything is okay now
Yes people do deserve second chances, but this girl lied to you. She hasn't even admitted her guilt in the slightest, personally I'ld see that as a major insult to my intelligence that someone would lie to me even though I am almost certain they did something. It also means they don't feel a shred of guilt about being dishonest to you to boot. She's showing you major disrespect.
I mean I expect friends to be honest with me let alone my boyfriend, your partner is supposed to be someone you feel secure with and trustworthy above all other people. If its anything less then in all honesty in the long run your just wasting time and money on someone who you might find doesn't deserve any of it anyway. Your only 17 and YOU deserve so much more than a thief and a liar
Oh my gosh Rebecca -- these aren't 30 year olds, they're 17 and prone to make mistakes in relationships. Bboy handled it pretty diplomatically -- he didn't banish or ostracize her. Everyone makes mistakes from time to time, but if she does it again, then Brendan can make his own decision for himself over whether it is worth it.
I do have to say that if Brendan didn't believe her, he shouldn't have told her that he does -- because he at least still has doubt in his mind. Unfortunately that doubt will probably change his feelings for her eventually.
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I've been watching this thread quietly from afar, remembering a horrible situation I had with a 'friend' years ago.
Just get rid of her dude, seriously! Regardless of whether she took the cash or the not, the seed of doubt has been planted. This will nag at you, and her. Not healthy!
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