Topic: The Big Bang Theory Fanplay

I decided to create a fanplay based on The Big Bang Theory. So far I've finished the first episode and I'm working on the second. I decided to post the first episode here and see if anybody likes it. Okay, here it is, my pilot of The Big Bang Theory Fanplay!

Note that those under the age of 15 might want to avoid this thread. While I have taken every attempt to remove anything inappropriate for the under-age, I have tried to keep it true to The Big Bang Theory...and those over 15 know what Wolowitz can get up to! Of course, I don't care for that kind of thing myself...a bit like Sheldon, actually! This means that this thread will be kept relatively clean and filth-free...I still thought I'd post the warning to be sure.

The Big Bang Theory Fanplay
1.01 The Alternate Reality Transference
Johnny Galecki as Leonard Hofstadter
Jim Parsons as Sheldon Cooper
Kaley Cuoco as Penny
Simon Helberg as Howard Wolowitz
Kunal Nayyar as Raj Koothrappali
And
Ryan Zacher as ‘Zack the Alien’

Scene 1 – Leonard and Sheldon’s Apartment – Living Room – Morning
Leonard is sitting on the couch in his dressing gown. Sheldon enters the room from his bedroom.

Sheldon: Good morning.

Leonard: Good morning.

Sheldon: You’re in my spot.

Leonard sighs and shifts one space to the right.

Leonard: This is getting old, Sheldon.

Sheldon: What’s getting old is the fact that you continually forget that you’re sitting in my spot. It’s taken me forever to craft a cavity that allows my lower body to slip into it in pure comfort and with relatively zero friction. If I let people sit in it willy-nilly, that cavity will eventually become misshapen, meaning that every time I sit in it I’ll hear the annoying sound of fabric rubbing against leather.

Leonard: Well, I’m always hearing an annoying sound!

Sheldon: It’s not surprising. That cavity was sculpted for my exterior, not yours.

Sheldon pours milk into his cereal and sits down in his spot.

Sheldon: I had the strangest thought last night.

Leonard: How did it differ from your other strange thoughts?

Sheldon: Well, you know that an ever-growing number of alternate realities is being generated as outcomes to everything that happens in the universe...

Leonard: Yes.

Sheldon: Well, I think it would be fascinating to see an alternate reality for myself and see how different it is from ours. I’d love to meet people in a world that is fundamentally ours, yet completely different. Imagine a universe in which Apollo 11 landed on the moon and Buzz Aldrin was the first to leave the lunar-lander, only for him to be disintegrated by extra-terrestrial lifeforms because he stepped onto their ancient burial site wearing shoes...or a universe in which Penny didn’t move into the apartment across the hall, meaning that your coytus-based relationship never even occurred.

Leonard: Or how about one in which you went for a vacation on a cruise ship, only for it to sink near an uncharted island and leaving you stranded with fifty other weirdos!

Sheldon: ...I guess that’s possible. We may have formed a society of sorts with me as its rightful ruler, what with me obviously being the most intelligent individual amongst the survivors. With my knowledge, we may have built a civilisation that borders on the Utopian, and I will have named it ‘Sheldlantis’, after the ancient sunken city rather than the spin-off of Stargate SG-1.

Leonard: Is there anything I can do to shut you up for just two minutes?

Sheldon: Unless you have the power to grant my lifelong dream of being able to meet somebody from an alternate reality, it’s highly improbable.

At that point, Sheldon’s whiteboard begins to shake, followed by Leonard’s. A lightning spike arcs from Leonard’s whiteboard and strikes Sheldon’s, causing it to ripple.

Leonard: What’s going on?

Sheldon: It’s finally happening! Our technology is revolting...in more ways than one!

Suddenly, a large man tumbles through Sheldon’s whiteboard and lands on the living room floor. Sheldon and Leonard stare at him in disbelief. After ten seconds of staring, Leonard realises Sheldon hasn’t yet said a word. He looks at Sheldon and smiles.

Sheldon: Okay, I was wrong. This can’t shut me up for two minutes.

Leonard’s face falls into a frown.

(The Big Bang Theory title card)

It's not the whole episode, just a teaser for now. So what do you think? Should I post it online for people to read? Share your thoughts

At first, I had thought it might be a little off, but it turned out really well I look forward to reading the rest if you decide to write more. :3

Scene 2 – Leonard and Sheldon’s Apartment – Living Room – Morning

The man slowly gets to his feet.

?: ...(groan)...what happened...?...ow! Ow! Foot cramp! Foot cramp!

The man sits in a chair, removes his shoe and rubs his foot. He suddenly stops and looks up at the ceiling. He slowly looks around the room.

?: This looks familiar...but it’s not my room...whoa!

He suddenly looks at Leonard.

?: This...is...weird...

He looks at Sheldon.

?: Very weird.

Sheldon: Interesting...

Leonard: What’s interesting?

Sheldon: Well, his accent suggests he’s Australian...but his physique suggests he’s from a world inhabited by humans who have evolved into small giants, gargantuans if you will.

?: Wait...this is...

Sheldon: His reaction to this apartment, however, suggests that he’s either inhabited or seen an apartment like ours, meaning his reality must be very close to ours.

?: You mean I’ve actually finally achieved my dream of visiting an alternate reality? One in which...you guys happen to exist?

Sheldon: Really? Your dream is like an alternate version of my dream to meet somebody from an alternate reality!

Leonard: Okay, what exactly just happened?

Sheldon: It’s simple...

There’s an awkward silence.

Leonard: You don’t know, do you?

Sheldon: Hold on...I’m hypothesising...

Leonard...you don’t know, do you?

Sheldon: I haven’t a clue.

Leonard: I thought so. Well...stranger...welcome to our apartment. I’m Leona-

?: Leonard Hofstadter.

Leonard: Okay, he knows my name...that’s great. It saves half the introduction.

Sheldon: Well, if he knows you then he must know me...unless he’s from a reality in which you exist yet I don’t.

?: Actually, neither of you really exists in my reality.

Sheldon: Then how do you know of us?

?: In my reality, you actually...well, you’re...characters in a sitcom...on TV.

Sheldon: Really? Wow! In his reality I’m famous! This is astonishing!

Suddenly, Penny bursts into the room half-asleep wearing a dressing gown.

Penny: Hey, Leonard. Hey, Sheldon. Hey, Wolowitz. Sorry to interrupt you at this time of morning. I need coffee and I’m all out.

Penny walks into the kitchen and grabs the coffee jar.

Leonard: Uh...Penny? You don’t notice anything unusual?

Penny: You mean besides Sheldon?

Sheldon: Wait! We don’t really need to bring her into this.

Penny: Bring me into what?

Penny looks over at Leonard, Sheldon, and some guy she’s never seen before.

Penny: Oh, I’m so sorry! I thought you were somebody else!

?: It’s okay...though I wouldn’t compare myself to Howard...it feels weird to say that out loud!

Penny: Well, I’m Penny. I live across the hall.

???: It’s nice to meet you, Penny. I’m Zack...well...my friends call me Zack...it’s a nickname...

Penny: Hey, love the accent! Australian, right?

Zack: Right.

Sheldon: Amazing that she gets that right. And yet last night when we played Buzz, she didn’t know that Dame Edna Everage is nothing more than a man in drag...no offense...Zack.

Zack looks at Sheldon, then down at the floor, then in a few other directions.

Penny: It’s weird, but now that I look at them in the same view together, they seem to have similar mannerisms.

Sheldon: How so?

Penny: Well, you...I don’t know...share a disposition.

Leonard: I hope that doesn’t put you off of Zack. So far he’s fine in my book.

Penny: You don’t really know each other?

Leonard: No, we only just met recently...

Penny: Oh. Well, enjoy your stay, Zack. So when do you go back?

Zack: Sorry?

Penny: To Australia.

Zack: Oh, I’m not sure. Frankly...I’d be happy living in Pasadena.

Penny: Well I hope so, because you seem like a very sweet guy.

Zack smiles.

Penny: Well, I better go make that coffee before I crash and burn! Later.

Leonard: Bye.

Penny walks out and closes the door.

Sheldon: ...well, I’ll admit that so far Zack and I have a few similarities.

Leonard: Where’s he gonna sleep?

Sheldon: He can sleep in my room.

Leonard stares at Sheldon in disbelief.

Leonard: But nobody ever goes in your room!

Sheldon: Yes, but I can make one exception, can’t I?

Leonard: Why would you let him sleep in your room over...I don’t know...somebody you know?

Sheldon: He’s essentially an alien in our world. I’ve always wanted an alien sleeping in the same room as me.

Leonard: At least you didn’t say ‘bed’.

Sheldon: Well, this cereal’s lost its integrity. Looks like no breakfast for me again.

Leonard: So you obviously don’t have plans for today Zack. How would you like to see the university? We work there in the Physics department.

Sheldon: Yes, but my work’s far more important than Leonard’s copy-cat studies!

Zack: Well...I don’t have plans, like you said, Leonard...sure, I’ll go.

I might post scene-by-scene...unless you're hungry for more in one shot

That's really good so far, NintendoBuddy.

Scene 3 – Apartment Building Lobby – Morning

Leonard and Sheldon stand at the bottom of the stairs as Zack makes his way down in terror.

Leonard: Come on! Just a few more steps!

Zack: If it weren’t for this handrail...I’d be too terrified to come down.

Zack finishes his descent.

Sheldon: I can’t believe someone of my kin would be afraid of a few flights of stairs. A fear of heights is illogical.

Zack: Yes...but a fear of falling down said stairs is instinctively primal.

Sheldon: His way of thinking astounds me. He has managed to create his own stories, projects and games...all using the power of imagination. With training, we could use his mind for the greater good.

Leonard: And what greater good would that be?

Sheldon: Why, string theory, of course. We may have inadvertently proved the existence of string theory with his little accident.

Zack: I’m standing right here. And wouldn’t the strings represent different isolated universes with varying and radically different laws of physics from one another...and alternate realities just be different variables of the exact same string?

Sheldon: I like that thinking. With proper focus, you could create a great fictional tale with those ideas...like Tolkien did with The Lord of the Rings.

Zack: ...?

Leonard: Believe it or not, that was a compliment.

Zack: Ah...got it.

Sheldon: How old are you?

Zack: Almost 23.

Sheldon: Fresh meat...we must begin training immediately!

Sheldon bursts through the doors and heads for the car.

Leonard: For the record, he won’t force you to study physics. He idolises you since you’re an alien.

Zack: Does he force you?

Leonard: ...yes. If I study hard, he buys me an ice-cream cone on Saturdays.

Leonard and Zack head for the car.

Scene 4 – University Cafeteria – Early Afternoon

Leonard is sitting at a table with a hamburger and fries on his plate. Howard and Raj walk up to the table and sit down.

Howard: You’ll never guess what I did on the weekend.

Leonard: Do tell.

Howard: Well, you know Louise over in the library? I went down to the comic book store and she was there buying a gift for her cousin. So I pulled out the ol’ Wolowitz charm and got her number.

Howard holds up a piece of paper.

Howard: I have here the cellphone number of one of the hottest librarians this side of the San Andreas Fault!

Raj: Give me that!

Raj snatches the paper and looks at it.

Howard: Careful! That’s the number for Louise Finebottom! Or should that be Fine-bottom!

Raj: This is the number for the plumber near Leonard and Sheldon’s apartment building.

Howard: What? No it isn’t! I’ll prove it to you!

Howard pulls out his cellphone, flips through his contacts and calls the number.

Howard: It’s ringing...Hello, Mr. Finebottom? I was wondering if your daughter is home. We sorta made plans that are a bit too kinky for your ears! (grin)...what? You want to fix my plumbing? No...that won’t be necessary, it’s in working order...I understand...no, that does sound too harsh...okay, well, I’m gonna go...have a great day, sir...yes, I hope you get mauled by dogs as well...okay...bye.

Howard hangs up his phone, removes the SIM card, pulls out a pair of scissors and cuts the SIM card in half.

Howard: It was a wrong number.

Raj: Hey, where’s Sheldon?

Leonard: Oh, he’s with his new companion.

Howard: How come he gets a girlfriend and I don’t?

Leonard: Not that kind of companion! He’s over there with Zack.

Raj: Who’s Zack?

Leonard: Okay, I’ll tell you, but you have to keep it between us...

Leonard, Howard and Raj huddle.

Leonard: Zack is a guy...from a parallel universe.

Sheldon: Alternate reality, Leonard. I don’t know how I could have made it any clearer earlier.

Howard: Wait...you mean Sheldon’s wish actually came true?

Raj: No fair! How come Sheldon gets a wish come true and we don’t?

Leonard: Because he’s Sheldon, and what Sheldon wants, Sheldon gets!

Sheldon and Zack sit down. Sheldon has a plate of beefaroni; while Zack has a burger with chicken, lettuce and mayo and a side of fries.

Howard: You’re serious, aren’t you?

Sheldon: Serious about what? The fact that a wish has actually come true with scientific evidence to back it up, or the fact that my wish came true and we have a new friend?

Raj: In any case, it’s a pleasure to meet you sir. Rajesh Ramayan Koothrappali...call me Raj. Everybody else does.

Howard: Howard Wolowitz. I can’t tell you what an honour it is to meet somebody from a parallel universe, and what a disappointment it is for Sheldon to get his way on such a grand cosmic scale.

Sheldon: Alternate reality! If you’re going to acknowledge me, then at least have the courtesy to do it properly.

Zack: Call me Zack...It’s kinda my nickname.

Zack bites his fry and places the end on his plate.

Leonard: Was it worth taking a bite?

Zack: Oh...I don’t like dark patches on my fries...I usually just remove them before I eat one.

Howard: Is it just me...or do we have a ‘Double Sheldons’ crisis on our hands?

Leonard: No, it’s okay. This Sheldon is actually bearable. He’s considerate of others. Just this morning he went out to get a snack and asked if I wanted anything.

Howard nearly falls off his chair.

Howard: You mean...this is like Sheldon’s evil twin from another universe...but this is a role-reversal in the case that our Sheldon is the evil one?

Sheldon: Reality! And he couldn’t be my reverse-morality twin, since we look nothing alike. I suppose at best he’d be my reverse-morality fraternal twin.

Raj: So what’s your reality like?

Zack: A lot like this one...is it just me or are these fries terrible?

Howard: No, the fries are terrible. So when you say ‘a lot like this one’, how do you mean?

Zack: Well, Barack Obama’s the US President...Julia Gillard’s the Australian Prime Minister...

Howard: And how about sci-fi...fantasy...gaming...

Zack: Well, one of the hottest new shows is Stargate: Universe...

Sheldon: Though it can’t really be called Stargate...carry on...

Zack: And the world is pumped for the impending release of the Nintendo 3DS...

Leonard: Oh, I so want one of those...with the 3D and no need for glasses...

Zack: And remakes of Star Fox 64 and Ocarina of Time...

Sheldon: You like The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time?

Zack: It’s one of my favourite Nintendo 64 games. I don’t see what everybody’s problem with the Water Temple is though. I think it’s one of the best dungeons in the game.

Sheldon: You know, I’m starting to see similarities between us. Even though you are of lower intelligence than I...I think of you as a superior being.

Zack: Because I’m an alien?

Sheldon: A great man once said, “Any man who is not of this world, is indeed a superior man to all who reside in this world, even the most intelligent, aka me.”

Raj: Who said that?

Sheldon: Why I did of course. Only I have the brains to think of a quote as brilliant as that!

Zack: Oh, now I really want to play Star Fox 64...

Leonard: Why?

Zack: All the talk of Star Fox 64 3D...plus Sheldon’s quote...It made me think of that quote of Andross’...”Only I have the brains to rule Lylat!”.

Sheldon: Well, what are your interests? Do you like Star Trek?

Zack: I’ve never really had the chance to see it.

Sheldon: Halo?

Zack: I dabbled with the first one.

Sheldon: Paintball?

Zack: Guns are too loud.

Sheldon: Do you speak Klingon?

Zack: No.

Sheldon: Elvish?

Zack: No.

Sheldon: Do you like Thai food?

Zack: Isn’t it spicy?

Sheldon: Chinese food?

Zack: Love it.

Sheldon: Well, then there’s hope for you yet, Zack the Alien.

Zack: I do have one question.

Sheldon: What’s that?

Zack: What’s your stance on Dungeons & Dragons 4th Edition?

Sheldon: Up until now we’ve been too busy to play it.

Zack: And now?

Sheldon: I suppose we could set aside one night a week as D&D Night.

Zack: Awesome! Thanks!

Sheldon looks bewildered.

Sheldon: What did you say?

Zack: I said thank you.

Sheldon: Well, it wasn’t specifically what you said...but...nobody has ever said ‘thank you’ to me and been so sincere when saying it...I’m feeling a warm, fuzzy feeling inside...

Leonard: That’s gratitude. You feel good for making another feel happy.

Sheldon: Well I probably won’t make a habit of doing it, but it’s a pleasant emotion nonetheless.

Howard: Welcome to you, Zack. You just might bring out a side of Sheldon we never thought would emerge.

A guy in dirty blue overalls bursts into the cafeteria.

?: Now where’s the creep who tried to de-flower my seven-year-old daughter? I know he’s in here!

Howard: Gotta go!

Howard runs off. The guy chases him.

?: Wait! Can you help me find the creep who tried to sleep with my little girl?

Raj looks at them.

Raj: I did try and warn him.

More to come

Forgive me, NintendoPurist -- i'm sure it's a lovely fanplay for viewers of this particular TV show -- but i'm not quite sure how a grown man making jokes about (potentially?) deflowering a little girl is anywhere remotely acceptable here at NL. You may wish to post something like this over at FanFiction.net if you'd like some honest feedback regarding your writing style, or if you're not quite up for that yet, post it to your blog and link back to your blog in your signature so that interested users may continue reading.