Topic: The Alot is better than you at everything (Humor)

As a grammatically conscientious person who frequents internet forums and YouTube, I have found it necessary to develop a few coping mechanisms. When someone types out "u" instead of "you," instead of getting mad, I imagine them having only one finger on each hand and then their actions seem reasonable. If I only had one finger on each hand, I'd leave out unnecessary letters too!

If I come across a person who seems to completely ignore the existence of apostrophes and capital letters and types things like "im an eagle and im typing with my talons, so dont make fun of me cuz this is hard," I like to imagine that they actually are an eagle typing with their talons. It would be a hassle if you had to hop in the air and use your feet to karate-chop two keys simultaneously every time you wanted to use the shift key to make a capital letter. Also, eagles lack manual dexterity, so I can understand why they'd want to leave out apostrophes. Eagles are all about efficiency.

But there is one grammatical mistake that I particularly enjoy encountering. It has become almost fun for me to come across people who take the phrase "a lot" and condense it down into one word, because when someone says "alot," this is what I imagine:

The Alot is an imaginary creature that I made up to help me deal with my compulsive need to correct other people's grammar. It kind of looks like a cross between a bear, a yak and a pug, and it has provided hours of entertainment for me in a situation where I'd normally be left feeling angry and disillusioned with the world.

For example, when I read the sentence "I care about this alot," this is what I imagine:

Similarly, when someone says "alot of _______", I picture an Alot made out of whatever they are talking about.




If someone says something like "I feel lonely alot" or "I'm angry alot," I'm going to imagine them standing there with an emo haircut, sharing their feelings with an Alot.

The Alot is incredibly versatile.




So the next time you are reading along and you see some guy ranting about how he is "alot better at swimming than Michael Phelps," instead of getting angry, you can be like "You're right! Alots are known for their superior swimming capabilities."

Illustrated and written by Allie Brosh of the Hyperbole and a Half blog.
All of her material can be found on her blog.
I have not made this material, I cannot make it any clearer.
The original blog post can be found here

thats alot of words!

No love for the Alot?

Actually, it's really cute, and I like that alot, thanks for being so awesome!

Thank you for noticing this common spelling error! Plenty of people, even those older than me, think that "alot" is the correct spelling of "a lot." Also, where can I get an alot? They look pretty sweet.

Yeah, same. I want that alot.

/me glomps the Alot

Michael Phelps ftw

u dumb proto case u alway have 2 mak us feel bad!

ur doin it again.

/facedog

I'm having

of fun reading this thread.
_{It's so cute and fluffy!!!!!}

I'm unsure what I just read but I might try it.

But it would be hard for me in the case of the following sentence: "I'd like to do that alot."

Grammar Nazis are the scum of the earth. It just makes me happy to know that being that anal over trivial things is shedding years off of there pathetic lives.

/rant

there pathetic lives

their pathetic lives

Sorry, but I just felt like doing that alot.

It's ok Rensch your still my favotirte.

Thanks, and I swear that the last sentence of my last post was unintentional, even though I stressed the possibilty of it happening in the post before that.

Hey! You there!
Stop talking!