Ah, to live in the Mushroom Kingdom, where the sun always shines (unless Bowser's nicked the Shine Sprites again) and the sea is always a lovely bright blue (filled with horrible underwater platforming levels). We're not bitter because the pandemic is stopping us from getting on a plane or heading to the beach. Not at all. No. We love the inside. It's where all the video games are.
You're probably wondering why we've brought you here, though. Is it just to look at this nice picture of Mario relaxing on the beach that Nintendo recently posted to celebrate the 4th of July? Ohohoho, dear Nintendo Life readers, this picture goes so much deeper than that.
First off, you'll notice that Mario's nipples are back. Last year, probably in response to the whole "oh my god Mario has nipples" thing from a few years ago, Nintendo decided to just... cut them out altogether. No nips for Mario. The year before that, our plumber boy was wearing a shirt, so we have no idea whether there are nipples under there. Also, did you know we have a whole tag for nipples news? Yup.
But now, Mario's nips are back! Sure, they're only wee dots, but at least he has them, and is once again confirmed to be a mammal. Phew.
Secondly, these summertime pictures always seem to stir up the fans, who assume that Mario's mere existence during the summer has to be proof that Super Mario Sunshine is coming to the Nintendo Switch. Technically, last year, it actually did — Super Mario 3D All-Stars includes the divisive goo-cleaning game, although you can't buy it any more since Nintendo sent Mario to the same place they sent his nipples. So what does this Super Summer Mario mean?
Let's take a look at the text and see if we can wildly speculate about anything:
Hmmm... Toad... Yoshi... Blooper... Nah, we got nothing. It's probably just a nice picture.
But thirdly, and most importantly:
Fancy speculating about wild theories involving this picture? Or are you just excited for crab? Let us know in the comments!
I see dots, but where them pepperonis!?!
Mario's straw is shaped like a 9, Mario Kart 9 confirmed..
@Bmartin001 No it’s shaped like the 👌 emoji
He looks a bit nippy. The crab I mean, not Mario's nipples...
Anyhoo as for speculation. Sea. Snorkel. Toad racing a crab. A blooper waving in the back ground
A blooper WAVE-ing
Eternal Darkness 2 confirmed!!!
Ah, we can finally breathe again.
Let's just hope that we don't see his bulge anytime soon.
A little consistency goes a long way. Mario is still, probably, a human
@HotGoomba : It's already been established that Luigi is the bulgier between the brothers.
Mario has nipples is so natural.
He is a human anyway, not a Yokai.
BTW, my hand drawing of Mario has six pack on it.
That’s some pro art work
Underwater platforming is a delight!! There's fish, there's frog suits, your controls get inversed sometimes. And that groovy underwater music! Too much time on land counting nipples makes you lose sight of what really matters in video games: the sea.
So Nintendo is okay with showing off Mario's nipples again, so naturally the next question is, when do you think they will let the fans see Peach's nipples?
@nessisonett Mario: confirmed Nazi sympathizer.
All you need to do is sign up for Nintendo's OnlyFans account.
Mario’s nipples bear a striking resemblance to Blooper’s eyes. Miniaturized.
Doubtless that Blooper has stolen the real Mario, skinned him, fed him to his comrades and is using Mario’s skin as disguise to further his horrific ambitions.
It’s hard to tell through the nipple-eyeholes, but the Blooper is hungrily eyeballing his next victim, Toad.
The Blooper in the surf seems distressed and to the untrained eye may seem to, in a fit of remorse over partaking in feasting upon Mario’s flayed remains, be attempting to warn Toad of imminent danger. But being a shrewd and learned Bloopologist, I can tell you that Blooper is crying out in hungered peals for more flesh meals.
The nipples could only be processed by the power behind a switch pro. They took them away because they initially had frame rate issues when brought to HD, but the DLSS is able to upscale appropriately at a decent refresh rate.
The artwork reminds me of the good ol’ 16 bit days of Mario games. Please release a 16 bit Super Mario World 2 (Not Yoshi’s Island) that takes place on Dinosaur Land.
Crab tag... Nipple tag...
I predict the next new tag will be Bologna.
Also, I’m a little crabby this is what passes for crustacean news these days
There's a Sidestepper!
Nintendo Life is always milking these nipple articles...
All this nipple news has me now envisioning a general ‘body parts’ tag for things like Twintelle’s booty, Luigi’s bulge, etc.
Time to log off, I think.
That crab is a Sidestepper, from the original (Non-Super) Mario Bros.
Give us Galaxy 2
If they add areolas then they have to make Mario rated t
When are they going to give us an image of Peach relaxing at the beach in a bikini?
Are you sure this image is new? I'm certain I've seen it floating around somewhere earlier in June. Regardless it's a great piece of art and one I intend to add to my collection.
@Joeynator3000 I'd love to see this. In fact a game where Peach (and Luigi for that matter) are playable and have various different clothing designs would be amazing. Maybe throw in some local multiplayer in there too?
You can just tell which articles were written by Kate, and they're always the best.
People get upset over the dumbest things.
@Fujimoto-San Yeah, I think it's from at least 2016 or so, probably from a company handbook
I just checked and in my country they still have 3D All-Stars lying around. And there's going to be discounts this weekend, so maybe I will finally pick it up? Eh, unlikely.
@Pirate1 I actually wanted to write about the SGDQ Fight Crab run, but it was at 2am on Thursday and the VOD wasn't up yet!
@Manjushri I'm sorry that other people want to be able to enjoy your same hobbies in different ways?
Sunshine mentioned again by Nintendo? Hmm...
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