The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is mere days away from release, and the Entertainment Software Rating Board's description for the game has recently gone live.
The ESRB rating states that the epic adventure contains "Fantasy Violence, Mild Suggestive Themes, Use of Alcohol", but it's the full summary which contains all the really good stuff.
Things start off slow:
This is an adventure game in which players assume the role of Link on a quest to stop a growing evil in the land of Hyrule. As players explore the open-world environment, they can forage for materials, explore shrines, and engage in melee-style combat against fantastical creatures (e.g., goblins, skeletons, centaurs).
Naturally Link is going to have to get his hands dirty on this quest, but the ESRB notes that most enemies vanish in a "puffs of smoke" when vanquished:
Players use swords, axes, clubs, and bows to defeat enemies that generally disappear amid puffs of smoke. One brief sequence depicts a battlefield strewn with the bodies of enemy creatures; in the background, a few bodies appear to be impaled by spears.
Then we hit the really good stuff: "fairies with moderate cleavage and/or exaggerated-size breasts", racy dialogue and booze:
The game contains some mildly suggestive material: fairies with moderate cleavage and/or exaggerated-size breasts; dialogue such as "I get to see a young hunk draw a bow again?" and "If I have to have something pounce on me, why couldn't it be a lady?" During the course of the game, a shop owner tells Link that she only serves "...drinks that are definitely just for adults..."; players can also encounter a drunken character that occasionally hiccups.
We literally cannot wait.
Thanks to Arjun Keval Joshi for the tip!
Even more a day one purchase then right!?
Sounds fun to me. Nothing to bad. Can't wait
Somehow this makes me want the game even more XD
AAAUUGHH!!! "Thanks" for the spoilers!! angrily cancels preorder
Joke aside, that is amusing. Heh.
Zelda can bend my bow like beckham .. sorry just fitting in
The games rated CERO B for Japan version, PEGI 12 for Europe but E10+ for USA.
The Legend of Zelda: Breasts of the Wild
If it means Link and Zelda could make out, that would be a win for me. They don't actually have to do it all the way though.
I'm looking forward to this even more. If only Amazon would have the physical wii u version for preorder
Publishing jokes ahead of time is one spoiler too many... I'll have to try and refrain from Nintendolife for awhile
Life, uh, finds a way. You have to find a way to hometown though.
Will somebody please think of the children!?!
I was half expecting there to be some sort of reference to the scene where we've seen Zelda bathing.
FAIRIES WITH MODERATE CLEAVAGE AND/ OR EXAGGERATED SIZED BREASTS.
That is all.
@Ed_Fairway i had a physical copy on preorder through amazon only cancelled when i made up my mind to invest in a switch.
@SM4SHshorts hears SM4SH's joke
Looks at design for the Zelda cake....tears it up and just draws two circular cakes with a Master Sword on top of each one.
Sun & moon should have been rated R+.
They did this for Sonic Lost World focusing on the words of genocide and eating black hearts within the rest lf a cheery game. This means nothing.
@SanderEvers OH YEAH!
Sounds like fun
Young hunks drawing bows and ample amounts of fairy cleavage. This is where the real innovation lies people.
So you made fun of the descriptors throughout the article, yet neglected to tell us what the actual rating is. Well done.
It's E-10+, by the way, for those who don't want to click the link near the top. Just think it would've made sense to actually include this info in the text.
(e.g., goblins, skeletons, centaurs)
CENTAURS. Lynel confirmed.
@Dev got it first, didn't see the post
Shame there's no HD rumble.There could have been a "Moderate or Exaggerated?" Fairy Chest mini game.Missed opportunity!
When can we (roughly) expect reviews, anybody?
@Pazuzu666 I would say next Monday the embargo will be lifted.
@OorWullie my body is (not) ready. WiiU version + Princess Zelda Amiibo waiting on the sidelines.
Some breasts are big. Doesn't mean they are exaggerated.
@Jd12345678 My thoughts exactly. Modern western culture is swinging so hard away from traditional 20th Century masculinity stereotypes that larger breasts on anything but a BBW will be illegal soon enough.
@gcunit After living in Asia for so long,they'll seem exaggerated to me.
Why is the cleavage only mild...
Just to clarify, I'm not defending the idea that we need big breasts on every woman character so as to please "real men," and I'm definitely not defending the neo-patriarchal war against so-called cencorship in games. I'm saying that the Great Fairies have big breasts, which is just a fact of their characters, rather than some kind of detail exaggerated for pornographic purposes.
@Jd12345678 Exactly. If they didn't have giant hooters they wouldn't be called 'Great'. That's how you differentiate between your run-of-mill 'fairy' and a 'Great Fairy'.
Huh. I thought for sure they would've said something like "one female character is depicting naked taking a shower outside in some springs. Only the back is shown, but some amount of body can be seen if one squints hard enough" I'm pretty sure they should've mentioned that 😜
haha this is so funny
Do they mention "come hither" looks from Zelda?
The more "bad stuff" the ESRB notes down, the more I want the game. I love the last bits where they note down hilarious dialogue, and exaggerated breast sizes. Like come on, when are we ever going to see actual exaggerated breast size in a Zelda game? Probably some A-cup who thought it was unnatural for D/E-cups to exist in any world.
Seems a bit loaded with jealousy, but I still think it is funny nonetheless xD
I'd probably do the same if I wasn't low on cash. So I'm gonna have wait until the wii u version is available on Amazon again.
It also had this:
Oh, and don't forget Metroid Fusion had this lovely peep too...
@retro_player_22 A FFX Yuna & Tidus style kiss-in-a-lake would be awesome.
@SM4SHshorts Greatest thing I've read all day.
Nice. It wouldn't be a 3D Zelda game without fairies with exaggerated-size breasts.
I'm reminded of the Halo 5 ESRB listing, which spoiled such mid-combat lines like "Your father was a filthy ape and your mother was a hole in the--" you can probably guess the rest.
As long as it's not N64 cleavage, now that stuff should've been rated M!
Great Fairy from Ocarina of Time CONFIRMED.
Also, that screenshot of Zelda is suggestive enough for me.
The Australian classification is M (similar to PEGI 12 and ESRB's T) for "Fantasy violence". The website does not cite any sex or nudity whatsoever, not even at a "very mild" level ("very mild" is the degree of content permissible under the G rating).
Well, the Great Fairies have always been the lecherous older woman trope since at least Link to the Past, so that's not...unexpected.
They've always had drunk people too. Just called them by other names.
Sounds like this will be par for the course, other than maybe the impaled monsters (although arguably they didn't have the graphics horsepower for that before).
@SanderEvers Ao in NA and banned in Australia. XD
@enti-social should've been rated A for abs. Lol
This is everything I need ever. I get new Zelda, I stop eating. Centaurs!
@SM4SHshorts Haha! You win the internet.
My mate Dave has moderate cleavage on account of his partiality for fast food.
I'll let him know what ERSB rating this affords him.
I wonder what they said about half-naked fairies in Twilight Princess.
Oddly, I don't remember Lynels/centaurs at all, but I'm looking forward to seeing them in this.
@sony_ponies Oh my god, the chat during that treehouse stream! You'd think most of those people had never seen a girl before.
It's pretty stupid how the ratings board feels it needs to point out aspects of the female anatomy, but not the fact that Link is topless when he goes swimming. The female chest is not inherently more sexual than the male. What makes it sexual is the interpretation of the individual (which is no one's business).
"Cues bells ringing"
Lol! Speaking of ratings: You Americans are soooooo obsessed with the ratings! You guys first look for the ratings before looking what the game actually is, lol.
I never looked at ratings, but that may also be because I almost never bought "naughty" games (violence, sex). I still almost never do that. But as a Nintendo-gamer there isn't much violence in games anyway.
On a sidenote: Nintendo censored the smithy dialogue in Majora's mask 3D. In the original the text was a lot more harsh. A shame that they censored it.
Well, it's nothing bad. They're just covering their own butts. We had more racy dialogue in Okami.
Besides, there was the Great Fairy in Ocarina and Majora in their leotards. Not to mention the unwanted close up of Mayor Bo's butt in sumo training mode and the multi-breasted Ooccas in Twilight Princess, which I assume was the reason for the T rating.
Oh not to mention this bit of racy dialogue from the poe salesman.
If I were as good looking as you, I'd be in a different kind of business. Hee hee hee.
So yeah, this isn't exactly cause for concern.
Plus as far as drunks go, I have two words for you. Disney's Dumbo.
@enti-social Uhh why?
I pre-ordered the Wii U version from Amazon (US) 2 days ago...they had a 20% off from Prime members...
@sony_ponies OMGS that's so funny! XD
@Lone_Beagle Now that's strange: UK amazon just says it's currently unavailable. Well, worst case scenario, I don't get it on release.
@Henmii What was their original Smithy dialogue?
Damn, don't tell FOX News...
@Grandpa_Pixel Why two swords? I thought it would be one sword between the two round cakes.
Something like: He's as dumb as a deku-stick
Big guy: Aaaaaarhhh!!
First guy: Quite, deku-stick!
That dialogue is missing from the European-version of Majora's mask 3D.
@Tempestryke I can't believe I never noticed the cleavage on the Ooccas. That just makes them weirder. I'm surprised Breath of the Wild didn't get a T rating too!
@Henmii I haven't seen that in the American version either. I need to bust it out and go in as a Deku.
@3dsgeek333 It's not cleavage just straight up bare boobs.
@HappyMaskedGuy If they have that on cover it would probably= increased sales. Sorta how 90% of mobile games include busty cleavage showing anime girls.
I'm not reading the quotes because I don't want to be spoiled.
@Sonic200012 You don't want booby spoilers?
@NintendoFan990 Breaking news Nintendo is the Devil and President Trump has sworn to ban it.
@NIN10DOXD LOL I did read the "fairies with exaggerated breasts part." I only didn't read the dialogue quotes. EDIT: Shit, I couldn't resist XD
It has always been implied that the milk in the Zelda series is alcoholic, so that's not really a big difference. But the "suggestive themes" on the other hand... Please don't censor that, Treehouse!
Why does that pic of Zelda look so seductive....(drools)
@Spoony_Tech I don't think so, it's just nudity. Dead Hand, on the other hand...
@Damo Breath of the Wild review, when??
Horizon Zero Dawn reviews are already up and it's released at approximately the same time.
So looking forward to this!
"fairies with moderate cleavage "
Somewhere on Twitter, there's a Nintendo fairy posting: "Moderate? MODERATE?? Oh, come on, do these look moderate?!"
"If I have to have something pounce on me, why couldn't it be a lady?" ROTFLOL
This sounds like something my dad would say. Funny stuff.
It wouldn't be a great fairy if it had minute sized cleavage! And that's the reason I'm buying the game so I can see a "young hunk draw his bow again...and his sword, with no shirt on.....mmmmmm link....I'll stop now."
i am so hyped for that game dudes. already preordered it in special edition!
@Jd12345678 most breasts are big
"If I have to have something pounce on me, why couldn't it be a lady?"
lol did they accidentally rate one of the CD-i Zeldas instead of Breath of the Wild?
@manu0 That's probably not true.
@BAN 70 % of women I see and know have breasts that I would consider to be big
I wonder what their definition of overexaggerated breast size is.
Cmon ESRB, that's surely in the eye of the beholder.
@BAN It's true in the Western world.
To think that at one point in time, BotW would have been rated E.
I can already hear those creepy Great Fairy laughs....
@manu0 Well, "big" is a subjective term, so who am I to question such things?
And what about the TOPLESS Great Fairy in Twilight Princess?
Nice spoiler in the tagline thingy lads
They should bring the Zelda cartoon fairies back, they were pantyless. lol
Have we all forgot that LINK CAN TAKE HIS SHIRT OFF!!!!!!!!!!! this game is not appropriate for kids and or adults in any way. This game shows kids things that they should never learn about. Such as nipples, kids should never be allowed to see nipples, even their own. So I suggest that we cut off all of children's nipples and private parts as so that they may never grow up to see such things!!! (This message has been brought to you by Mothers For America. the same people that ruined the 70's)
That image of zelda tho... Nice!
Hahaha spoiled some breasts. He wanted to find out himself lol!
@sony_ponies I would like some hot milk please? lmfao
@Ralizah That Tree house episode had me on the edge of the seat wanting more coverage, lmao.
I want to complain but I just can't.
This is all run of the mill ESRB stuff, nothing special here, but i guess since it involves Zelda and Nlife has nothing else to report on why not...
If the player avatar character isn't having graphic sex with at least three different women who serve no other plot purpose, killing people for no good reason except they interrupted my brooding exposition dump, and if every other word isn't the F-Bomb, NO SALE.
Oops, sorry...I thought this was the focus group for the latest AAA western game.
(You know, rated 'M' but written for a 14 year old intellect)
@enti-social Still trying to figure out where female swimmers keep their pokeballs...
"It's smack in the middle of her left butt cheek!"
Impa, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
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