Well hello

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is mere days away from release, and the Entertainment Software Rating Board's description for the game has recently gone live.

The ESRB rating states that the epic adventure contains "Fantasy Violence, Mild Suggestive Themes, Use of Alcohol", but it's the full summary which contains all the really good stuff.

Things start off slow:

This is an adventure game in which players assume the role of Link on a quest to stop a growing evil in the land of Hyrule. As players explore the open-world environment, they can forage for materials, explore shrines, and engage in melee-style combat against fantastical creatures (e.g., goblins, skeletons, centaurs).

Naturally Link is going to have to get his hands dirty on this quest, but the ESRB notes that most enemies vanish in a "puffs of smoke" when vanquished:

Players use swords, axes, clubs, and bows to defeat enemies that generally disappear amid puffs of smoke. One brief sequence depicts a battlefield strewn with the bodies of enemy creatures; in the background, a few bodies appear to be impaled by spears.

Then we hit the really good stuff: "fairies with moderate cleavage and/or exaggerated-size breasts", racy dialogue and booze:

The game contains some mildly suggestive material: fairies with moderate cleavage and/or exaggerated-size breasts; dialogue such as "I get to see a young hunk draw a bow again?" and "If I have to have something pounce on me, why couldn't it be a lady?" During the course of the game, a shop owner tells Link that she only serves "...drinks that are definitely just for adults..."; players can also encounter a drunken character that occasionally hiccups.

We literally cannot wait.

Thanks to Arjun Keval Joshi for the tip!

[source esrb.org]