Keeping gaming healthy in the family isn't an easy task. Children always are inevitably attracted by the allure of more mature experiences. Playground chatter and children's toys based on adult game franchises like Mega Bloks' Assassin's Creed, Halo and Call of Duty fuel this latent desire for what are often violent experiences.
Many suggest that parents simply need to get better at saying "No" and read the age ratings on the box. The reality isn't as simple as this though, particularly if you want your children to develop a positive relationship towards video-games rather than simply ban them from the home.
I'm happy to categorically not allow my kids to play certain games until they are old enough, but I'm also keen for them to discover the rich experience games can offer. This has taken us on a journey that challenged my presumptions about what was a healthy experience for them and turned games into more of a shared activity in our household.
Nintendo games, predictably, have been a big part of this. Games like Nintendo Land, Mario Kart 8, Zelda: Wind Waker and Zelda: A Link Between Worlds were not only safe havens of non-violence but also great gaming experiences that got every member of the family playing together. But more recently I've appreciated the wide range of exuberant Nintendo games with a slightly older age rating.
Games like Wonderful 101 and Super Smash Bros. have turned discussion about older games from me saying "No" into a proper conversation about what alternatives there are to the blockbuster shooters.
At times this has even reversed the way these things usually go, with me suggesting slightly older games I think the kids would get a lot out of and them being a little cautious. Trying to persuade my young players to try something older isn't what they expect Dad to be doing — but it's really made a big difference.
Most recently, we've been enjoying Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate on the 3DS. This wasn't a game on their radar and when I suggested we invest some time in, it they weren't so sure. For starters, my son is a little squeamish and didn't like the idea of killing the monsters. Also he was a little confused by the scale of the world and all the options for developing weapons and characters.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mmuz9WDvfw]
Having convinced him to give it a go we started into the main adventure together. He would sit next to me while I looked after the controls. But then we discovered the multiplayer part of the game and he was keen to start his own character so we could quest together.
Multiplayer can seem like a minor feature, and local multiplayer is often overlooked in favour of an online offering, but for my family playing together in the same room is invaluable. Having the feature in Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate was a good way to ease the family into some of the more complex aspects of the game.
It seems that it's not just me. Brad Gallaway, editor of Game Critics and father of two boys 5 and 13, told me about Monster Hunting in his family:
I've been playing Monster Hunter as a series for over 1000 hours, and got my oldest into it when he was 10. It was a very positive experience, as we were able to get into the co-op and work together towards defeating each new monster and making the weapons and armour. He took to it once I explained how the systems worked, and soon had gained mastery of the combat, only needing a bit of advice from me as to how to max out his stats, or what tactics to use.
My youngest took to games much earlier than his brother, and was quite curious to get into Monster Hunter after seeing the rest of the family play, including mom. He does not like playing himself as it's a bit too difficult for him solo, but he loves joining the family and playing a support role, or gathering items while we fight the beast on hand. He leaves the rough stuff to mom and dad, but he's right there with us picking up the tricks and learning the ins and outs of the game. It's also been a great source of reading practice - within a few days, he was able to read the names of the items and menus, and so on.
This approach has helped me avoid becoming the "bad cop" parent who simply polices what games are played, and says "No" a lot. By finding great experiences and taking an active role in the game choices things are very different. No more "Mr. Bad Cop" - if I do say no, it's followed with "How about this game?"
That's my recent story with games in the family but it would be a big help to find more games that work well. What would you suggest or what have you found works well for you?
Comments 19
I can't imagine my 10 and 12 year old boys getting into the micromanagement farming aspect of this. We got MHTri when it released and all they played was the co-op coliseum battles. Though of course they were quite a bit younger then but they still don't seem interested.
Both are into games that allow level editing - Granny in Paradise, Age of Booty, and of course Minecraft, and are really looking forward to Mario Maker. They made a few levels each in Pushmo World but don't seem interested in Mario vs Donkey Kong Tipping Stars at all, though I think that's partly b/c they are waiting for MM.
As far as family co-op, the usual suspects - every co-op Lego game, Disney Infinity, Skylanders. LBP, SM3DW, Mario Kart, and the 2 newer Rayman games were great. And Wii (U) Kirby games. And SSBU.
No FPS and no M rated games. I won't say no violence b/c it's hard to find a videogame w/o some type of violence, but no realistically bloody violence, they love co-op violence like Castle Crashers and are looking forward to Swords & Soldiers 2 - kill everything in sight.
Great article! It's funny to me, Mario and Zelda games have been a driving force behind my youngest son learning to read. Now he's above his age group's reading level lol. Hunting monsters with my boys sounds fun. Now I HAVE TO get them both a copy.
I am a huge fan of this series and this affinity to it has attracted the attention of my two sons. When the demo for MH4U was made available to all via the eShop, we three downloaded it. I expected the game to be too overwhelming for my youngest and a bit of a challenge for my oldest which I thought would translate to a loss of interest after they played it once or twice. I was wrong about how much time they would invest playing the demo. I was both delighted and surprised on how much both of them really enjoyed playing the game especially together. Still sceptical of how much they would enjoy the full game with all its complexities I cautioned against buying the full game for the pair of them, instead I allowed them to take turns playing my full version of MH4U. Watching them play my game illuminated to me how much I underestimated their abilities to play a game such as MH4U and pull enjoyment from it. I haven't run out and bought any more copies of the game just yet but come Easter I have no doubt that we will be hunting monsters together as a family. I value these family experiences immensely. I applaud Capcom for designing a multigenerational mid-maturity game that helps bridge that gap between younger player and older player.
Warning: Kotaku article.
http://www.kotaku.co.uk/2015/03/09/stopping-kids-playing-18-rated-games-made-bad-guy
We haven't taken the plunge on 4 yet, but that's because there's still a lot left to do in 3. I've had quite a bit of fun playing this with my boys. Although it can be really frustrating to fail quests against low rank monsters just because someone wasn't paying attention to their health bar or forgot to pack potions. But still a good time with the kids.
Actually, it is pretty easy to keep gaming healthy in the family. Saying and meaning 'no' is a big part of it. Doing your homework on games is another part. It's much easier now than in the days before the internet.
Knowing your kids is a big piece of the puzzle. Whilst the situation may be tricky for non-gaming parents, for those of us who are it's mainly a matter of common sense.
@rjejr My 8 year old watches me play this and so wants it too. I'm not quite ready for him to play this just yet but maybe by his next birthday though. He's pretty good at the micro management stuff but I thick it's great that I would be able to help him in game as opposed to just simply taking his system from him when he gets stuck somewhere. There is a lot yo learn about this game and tbh even after well over 1000 hours playing 4 different versions now I still learn something new almost every time I play. This is a game that keeps on giving 100's of hours latter!
I'm not a parent, and likely never will be, but I took a similar approach to my little brother's growth into gaming. Unfortunately nowadays I'm busy with college so he spends most of his game time playing Minecraft or LoL. He used to play a lot of shooters, but seems to have grown bored of them; now only playing them when my sister or I decide to play one.
@rjejr My two boys are a little younger but they play similar games, and I have very similar rules for what they can and can't play. I'm actually looking forward to Splatoon coming out so they can experience FPS without the realistic violence. My youngest son is all about Smash Bros. 3DS/WiiU, SM3DW, SM3DL, DKCR:TF, Rayman (both games); and my oldest son prefers games like Animal Crossing & Tamodachi Life, Mario Kart 7 & 8, Art Academy. They actually both started playing Lego Batman 3 just this week.
My youngest has tried the demo for MH4, he likes it but I don't think he knows what he's doing. I've been playing the demo lately trying to get a feel for if I like it or not. My oldest does not seem interested in games like this at all.
I have very fond memories of beating the final boss on Donkey Kong Country Returns with my oldest son. He actually got the last hit on him and he still talks about it!
@Spoony_Tech - Well it sounds like we would certainly get our money's worth out if it, that's for sure. But to be honest I'd rather play Codename STEAM w/ them if we were so inclined to game together on the 3DS.
@dkxcalibur - Sounds like our kids would hit it off. We live in a predominantly Xbox infested community and my kids only common ground is Minecraft for the youngest and Pokemon for the oldest, and I'm not sure how much longer that will last.
I actually wrote my kids were looking forward to Splatoon too, but we still aren't sure how offline co-op will work, Hero Mode has me thinking maybe there won't be any, which would be a darn shame, so I deleted it.
I also somehow left out game-of-the-moment, which is Hyrule Warriors. Playing on that Gamepad screen makes me nuts when I play w/ either of them, but we all love the game. My youngest loves playing as Tingle, he's hilarious.
@rjejr And that's why I dl'ed Steam for myself and just picked up a copy for my son less then 2 hours ago. We will be steaming together lol!
@plunkettmonster
Kids learn fast, as I'm sure you know all too well. But remember when we were kids and were running circles around games like Mega Man and found every hidden secret in Super Mario World? Kids love challenge. In fact, I think the more complexity a game has, the more kids will like it. They like figuring all that stuff out, and pick up really quick.
I think if you got them the full game they might surprise you- kids never fail to amaze
@JaxonH They sure do. There are games they have beaten 100% that I haven't yet, namely Mario 3D Land and Luigi's Mansion. I intend to get them their own copy of MH4U eventually, sooner than later because I am tired of wrestling my copy back off of them.
@Spoony_Tech - Yeah, I think I remember now you posting that a couple of days ago. Well time to go play Hyrule Warriors w/ the kid and figure out how to unlock Ganon's Fury. I'm guessing we just need to finish story mode, but who knows?
I bet the author of this piece was at one time an interesting and fun guy to hang out with before he had kids.
My son (three) is a bit too young to play most Nintendo games (as he hasn't developed the coordination for a regular controller yet). So he'll usually just watch the wife and I play some MK8 or SM3DW. He DOES love the minecart levels in Captain Toad.
I myself tried to play Monster Hunter 3, but I couldn't really get into the series. Just not my cup of tea, I suppose. But once my son gets older, I'm sure he'll love to play some co-op games with his father. In between homework and basketball/hockey practice .
Thank you for sharing your insights Andy into this experience. Its made me re evaluate some restrictions on games with my children. They are some games naturally I would stop them from playing but having recently got into MHU3 I thought this weekend I would try by 8 year old boy on MHU3, Early signs are good. He played through some of the early tutorials on the Wii U and we are next planning a co-op effort between Wii U and 3DS. Again thanks for sharing.
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