"What a big lovely match!"
Behold The Kickmen is a football (or soccer, if you prefer) simulation for everyone who hates the sport, or, at the very least, remains totally clueless to its global appeal. Created by Dan Marshall of The Swindle fame – who readily admits he knows nothing about football and thought it would be fun to see what kind of...
Behold the Kickmen Guides
We mean Soccer, not that 'other' football
Football is the world's most popular sport, from the elite level of child-like millionaires with dazzling skills and impressive diving techniques, to actual children on playgrounds using jumpers for goalposts. Being a football / soccer fan that owns a Switch, however, can be slightly confusing. Nintendo's...
About The Game
>ULTIMATE FOOTBALL EDITION
BEHOLD THE KICKMEN is a football game made by someone who has no understanding of, or interest in, what is affectionately known as "The Wonderful Game".
Start at the bottom of the Big Boring British Football Spreadsheet system and grind your way up, gruelling match after gruelling match, to become the best at the football that anyone's ever seen, and win the World Cup for your mantelpiece.
FEATURES: Kicking, Passing, Tackling, Squad Management and Doing Goals over and over. There's even a full Story mode, crammed with overblown melodrama and inane decisions to be made.