"What a big lovely match!"
Behold The Kickmen is a football (or soccer, if you prefer) simulation for everyone who hates the sport, or, at the very least, remains totally clueless to its global appeal. Created by Dan Marshall of The Swindle fame – who readily admits he knows nothing about football and thought it would be fun to see what kind of...
Behold the Kickmen Guides
We mean Soccer, not that 'other' football
Erm... well, this doesn't usually happen! As if holding the 2020 European Championships in 2021 wasn't a melon-twister, to the surprise of English fans (not to mention the irritation of the rest of the UK) Gareth Southgate's England team are in the final of a major international tournament. First time since...
About The Game
>ULTIMATE FOOTBALL EDITION
BEHOLD THE KICKMEN is a football game made by someone who has no understanding of, or interest in, what is affectionately known as "The Wonderful Game".
Start at the bottom of the Big Boring British Football Spreadsheet system and grind your way up, gruelling match after gruelling match, to become the best at the football that anyone's ever seen, and win the World Cup for your mantelpiece.
FEATURES: Kicking, Passing, Tackling, Squad Management and Doing Goals over and over. There's even a full Story mode, crammed with overblown melodrama and inane decisions to be made.