Topic: Chocobo Mystery Dungeon is like a cold shower to me

I want retail games. I want retail RPGs. Especially Mystery Dungeons.

I am sick of digital downloads (not really, but if I delete anything the joke is ruined). I want RPG games to have top priority, not be fringe products that end up on DSiWare published by Gameloft.

I want companies to keynote their E-3 showcase with Chocobos, not to 'promote' a game with a viral online campaign.

I want the games creator to make it his pet project and put the top people on the game - not send it off to b or c squad developers and tiny budgets.

I want RPG old school games to be released at the holidays, restore console momentum and kick the crap out of the competition, Not releae on 4 digital platfomrs and have no impact and gain no momentum and have no chance at bigger budgets and relevence - true relevence. In other words, I want a financially unviable business model that would destroy the future of the entire games industry.

I want exclusive Mystery Dungeon projects, designed to take full advantage of their respective consoles, not generica games that go everywhere and no one cares.

I want games that do not have a lick of unneccesary narrative and explanation, I do not care why Chocobo has a neckpurse, I just want to grab the claws and saddles, equip them and play the game. Who wants to use their brain while playing a game?

Because I get it now. This is what gaming looks like. Gaming is not a movie. Its primary function is not to tell a story poorly or interupt gameplay with narrative and CG. We have moives for that. And television. And books. And Grandpa. And you know I'm right, because I'm the authority on art, and I have deemed to grace you with my presence, you should be proud.

Gaming is me with a controller and something on the screen that moves when I push buttons and it is fun and takes skill and has a goal,

I must be a casual. In case you are wondering, my butt hurts, too.

I want gaming personality, great control, great level design, laughter in the living room, sharde experience and gaming love.

This made me laugh.
(:3=

Ok.

What is it with cold showers today?

LOL-tastic parody thread. Epic win, WaltzElf!

Nice avatar dude, I always wondered what you looked like.

We can thank 110Percentful for this glorious portrait. Mona Lisa and Leonardo Da Vinci have nothing on that guy.

That's a nice avatar, WaltzElf.

Waltz, I was totally wondering about your butt all day. Thanks for clearing that up.

I love Mystery Dungeon, too.

Chocobos > your butt. Stop wasting server space.

_{nice one btw}

I wasn't, but thanks for sharing.

_{also, ftw parody thread needs parody response, so...}

Thread of the day.

A Cold Shower is like a cold shower to me.

A cold shower? What's a cold shower? Is it like a chocobo?

At first I thought you changed things to make it funny, but it was already funny.

"And Grandpa.", "my butt hurts,too.". I thought those were your clever edits, but alas it was a post that needed not a parody.

LOL
_brilliant