3 vampires walk into a bar, 2 male and 1 female. The first vampire asks for a Bud (blood) and the bartender gives it to him. The second vampire asks for a Bud light and the bartender obliges. The bartender moves to the female vampire and offers her a Bud, she turns it down and asks for a hot glass of water. "I'm making tea" she said, as she pulled out a tampon.
QUEEN OF SASS
It's like, I just love a cowboy
You know
I'm just like, I just, I know, it's bad
But I'm just like
Can I just like, hang off the back of your horse
And can you go a little faster?!
The bartender moves to the female vampire and offers her a Bud, she turns it down and asks for a hot glass of water. "I'm making tea" she said, as she pulled out a tampon.
Lieutenant Commander of the Lesbian Love Brigade
There can only be one, like in that foreign movie where there could only be one, and in the end there is only one dude left, because that was the point.
The bartender moves to the female vampire and offers her a Bud, she turns it down and asks for a hot glass of water. "I'm making tea" she said, as she pulled out a tampon.
And that made me thirsty. Thanks dude.
It's Kristen Stewart!
Yes, I know That doesn't make much sense, but I never read the books and I;ve only seen clips of the movie.
A frog goes into a bank, and hops up on the desk of the loan officer. Hi, he croaks.What's your name? The loan officer says, My name is John Paddywack. May I help you? Yeah, says the frog. I'd like to borrow some money. The loan officer finds this a little odd, but gets out a form. Okay,what's your name? The frog replies, Kermit Jagger. Really? says the loan officer. Any relation to Mick Jagger? Yeah, he's my dad. Hmmm, says the loan officer. Do you have any collateral? The frog hands over a pink ceramic elephant and asks, Will this do? The loan officer says, Um, I'm not sure. Let me go check with the bank manager. Oh, tell him I said hi, adds the frog. He knows me. The loan officer goes back to the manager and says, Excuse me, sir, but there's a frog out there named Kermit Jagger who wants to borrow some money. All he has for collateral is this pink elephant thing; I'm not even sure what it is. The manager says: It's a knick-knack, Paddywack, give the frog a loan; his old man's a Rolling Stone.
“I am a brother to dragons and a companion to owls." Job:30:29
Top 50 Children’s Books That Didn’t Quite Work 1. You are Different and That’s Bad 2. Take a Walk Down the Railroad Tracks with Me 3. Dad’s New Wife ‘Greg’ 4. Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share 5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An "I-Can-Do-It" Book: 6. A Children's Guide to Hitchhiking 7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mommy Stopped Loving Her 8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence 9. All Cats Go to Hell 10. How to Kick A** At School 11. Some Kittens Can Fly 12. Adoption: A Fresh Start 13. Grandpa's new Casket 14. Fun With Abandoned Refrigerators 15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia 16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy 17. Strangers Have the Best Candy 18. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get your Way 19. Why You Were An Accident 20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will 21. Pop! Goes Froggy, And Other Great Microwave Games 22. The Man in the Moon is Actually Satan 23. Nightmares: Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid 24. A Child's Guide to Final Arrangments 25. Eggs, Toilet paper, and your School 26. Why Can’t Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends? 27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things 28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry 29. The Surprise at the Bottom of the Pool 30. If It Feels Good, Touch It! 31. Making Grown-Up Friends On The Internet 32. 101 Fun Games To Play In The Road 33. You Can’t Help It If You’re Stupid 34. Patty Went Splat! (Don’t YOU Forget Your Seatbelt) 35. Bullies Have More Fun 36. Mommy’s Got A New Baby To Love [Removed ] 38. I Dare You! 101 Challenges To Prove You’re Not A Sissy [Removed By Request ] 40. Harry Potter and the Stoned Sorcerer 41. I Am My Own Grandpa 42. Who’s My Daddy? 43. Fatherhood: A Guide for the Adolescent 44. Small Objects and Electrical Outlets 45. Different Daddies Each Day of the Week 46. Operation and Nomenclature of the Colt 1911-A1 .45 ACP 47. Little Hands, Big Toasters 48. How To Make A Plastic Bag Space Helmet 49. Santa Claus And Other Lies Your Parents Told You 50. Fun With Things Under The Kitchen Sink
Forums
Topic: The Funny Thread
Posts 161 to 180 of 426
This topic has been archived, no further posts can be added.