Topic: Feel like I’m trapped and don’t know what to do

23f boyfriend 25m

I come from a abusive family, I escaped them after Christmas last year. My boyfriend let me move in with his family and I was grateful at the time but this is not working out at all and like the title says I feel trapped. I think I only stay for two reasons, his sake, and cos I can’t afford to have my own home that he can move into when he’s ready. I’m always applying for jobs, sometimes I get interviews but I never get the job so I’m in limbo. I try so hard to find a job but keep getting rejected

I love living with my boyfriend but I really dislike his dad and brother (I’ll only explain why properly if someone asks) and I have no idea how to live like this anymore. I’m sick of pretending to be ok with them when I’m really not.I’m living a lie every single day. Again I don’t want to go into why I don’t like them all I’ll say is his dad is grumpy, says things that are sick in the head, and he causes 99.9% of domestics between me and my boyfriend cos even though my boyfriend says he doesn’t mean it nastily, his dad thinks he can just say whatever he wants, and always finds something to nitpick about me to my boyfriend. I thought his mum was ok and that we got along, but I now know that she just allows my boyfriend’s dad to say whatever he wants, no matter how much it might upset us. I also now know that I have no right to speak my mind. The latest thing upset me so much I told my boyfriend I can’t live here anymore. From what I can gather, their problem atm is that they can’t handle that they feel like I’m stealing their son cos he doesn’t spend as much time on his own anymore. I couldn’t talk to his dad about any of this, cos he just talks over me even when I politely ask to keep talking I can’t. His brother is the same as his dad, and jealous of our relationship. I find both of them incredibly rude and selfish, with both the things they say and the things they do a red flag

I’ve tried to get on with them, I have. But I just can’t. We are too different, and that’s ok. But what’s not ok is his dad and brother’s remarks are causing our domestics and the fact that I feel uncomfortable around them both. I don’t want to feel like this. And I’ve tried to stand it but again I can’t anymore. I cry a lot cos my boyfriend doesn’t understand how I feel living here. He doesn’t see the problem. I’ve repressed my true feelings for him but I really don’t want to live here. I don’t want to pretend that I like his dad and brother on a daily basis, I’d rather not deal with them at all. I read online that if you don’t like someone you live with, you should just avoid them. But how? How can I do that without it becoming obvious it’s cos I dislike them? Cue the awkward questions and potentially getting kicked out of the house. I feel like this is making me depressed and I don’t know what I’m gonna do

@Yoshilover8
Um...
Maybe you can find somebody better with peoples welcoming you.
You have to leave from toxic place that made you unhappy as I heard from your story, even your boyfriend (I'm sorry, are you a man or woman?) couldn't help you to make you happy.
What kind of job have you tried to apply and what forte do you have from your live experience?
Maybe you can try a job that fit with your forte and having peoples welcoming you.

@Yoshilover8 That sucks!

Even if people on here do mean well this isn't the most emotionally intelligent or mature forum to ask advice from to be honest so I wouldn't take advice from people on here. I would suggest talking to someone who's familiar with you and partner just to let yourself express your frustrations and then plan your next steps.

@Yoshilover8 I'd suggest looking up and contacting your local Citizen's Advice - https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/

It certainly sounds like there's not much to be gained from getting into discussions with your boyfriend's family about their attitude - they sound pretty toxic and in their own home unlikely to respond positively. Perhaps you could try a last-gasp heart-to-heart with the mum, when you're in a neutral situation (e.g. out of the house, away from the dad), but aside from that it seems you need to start planning a way out.

Good luck.

I’m so sorry you hear your living this way. I suggest what @lolwhatno said, I don’t just recommend Reddit everyday, You will get more support there then on here.

Do not use Reddit, try the helplines Rambler and GC suggested!

@jump I didn’t see this when I made my comment, these are much better!

@Yoshilover8 I'm incredibly sorry for your situation. I don't want to make any recommendations myself since I don't know what would be the right thing to do myself and don't want to make a mistake in doing so but I wish you the best of luck for your future!

I hope your situation gets better for you

@lolwhatno I meant what you said about what jump said,.and also What your also saying now. If that makes sense?