Topic: Does Anyone have Trouble With Shyness?

@Roopa132: Its okay, I don't ask most store employees at big box retailers either. I'll gladly wander a store for an hour if I had to. I've had too many experiences where I ask for an item, they say they don't have it only for me to find the item a few moments later. I don't expect them to know anything. Is there any reasons why you don't like talking to people?

I don't see what the problem is. Some people are quiet and reserved. And some are loud-mouthed extroverts. Everyone is different. Fortunately!

I'm not shy, but people assume I am just because I am a quiet person. Its not that I don't want to talk to new people, its just that I don't have much to say.

I was shy when I was really little [who isn't?] but nowadays, I have no shyness whatsoever. People can think what they want to think about me, and I'll continue having fun doing what I normally do.

That's what they're paid to do (even if they're crap at it), you need to work on that - seriously. Treat it like a phobia and put yourself in situations where you need to ask clerks for things!

@Sean Aaron: My problem is I don't have the courage to put myself in a situation like that.

I glad to see I'm not the only person with this problem. It's amazing what I go through to avoid actual contact with people
(I don't know how many times I've circled isles not wanting to ask an employee a simple question) but somehow I'm going to try to get better at talking to people.

I'm different in real life than I am online.
Online:Its obvious I express my opinions loudly(lol) and that I talk to people online with ease.
Real:Shy and quiet. I'll admit,I have terrible social skills but when its someone like a long time friend,I'm always happy and hyper when they're around.

Although one time at Gamestop on March 9th last month(I say the date because FFXIII came out and BC2 just came out few days prior),I said to the dude at the counter "It's a busy week huh?" and then we went onto talking about camping in MW2.....I was actually being social. lol

I'm a bit shy a few times, but I got over it a few years back. Then again, my voice is super-odd (i talk super-fast) at times.

My YouTube channel is kinda my way of defeating shyness now.

I used to be very shy around people I didn't know very well...which was not healthy. At some point in my high school career I realized that if I didn't break out of that habit then, I probably never would. (After all, high school and college are probably the most social years I'll ever have...I didn't want to miss out on that.)

So I made a promise to myself. I promised that if I ever second-guessed what I wanted to do, I'd do it. I figured that the healthy part of my brain was telling me to socialize, and the unhealthy part was second-guessing it and holding me back. So any time I thought twice about something, I made sure to do it.

Now I can't say that that's universally good advice (your brain is right to make you think twice about stepping into a busy road, for an obvious example), but it did me a world of good, and it got me into a much more social habit. I'm still nervous in certain situations, but I guess I've learned to wear it well. Whenever I confess my social anxiety to someone, they're always very surprised.

So maybe give that a shot. Force yourself to be a little more brave just once. And then just once more. And once more after that until it's a habit, and you don't have to force it anymore.

Ditto.....
I may be forced to talk to someone about that sometime in the future.
Until then shrugs
(takes his laptop back in the room and locks the door. )

@cheapogamer4life & Infernape1000 How do you get money for food and games then?

The internet of course. Not that much(at all), but i manage to get by.

Edit: I like your nice avatar pic.
Is he or she yours?

The only time I'm really shy is when it comes to talking to a girl I'm interested in. I loosen up and do fine a few minutes in, but walking up to her is murder. I keep thinking "This isn't going to work. Look at her. She won't talk to you." over and over again. Once I get talking I'm golden. It's just a fear of rejection, I guess.

This is a very interesting myth, considering the fact that you can't go a full day without finding counterexamples! Honestly, all you're doing by thinking this way is ensuring your own failure.

Yes, loud and obnoxious men get the attention of girls. But, more specifically, they get the attention of girls who like loud and obnoxious men. The same way artists get the attention of girls who like artsy men, musicians get the attention of girls who like musical men, and, yes, bookish intellectuals get the attention of girls who like bookish intellectual men.

If you just shrug and say you'll never have a girlfriend because you're not loud and obnoxious, then you're not really responding to the right problem, and that won't help you any. Neither volume nor obnoxiousness is a prerequisite for attracting people of the opposite sex...if it were, neither myself nor any of my friends would ever be able to date!

There are other things women look for. Show 'em what you've got.

(Not literally.)

I feel that way too, except for the girl part. (I'm only 14 here )
Guys can be so rude, I'm sure it'll be a little different when I'm out of high school but it's just... unbelievable. This is why I hate gym class - I hate being around most other guys in my school. Of course, being shy, I talk to girls even less. So I just speak when I'm spoken to.
That's why I love the Internet, it's like starting on a clean slate. But I know it's not really a solution for anything.

No, literally. Show them what you've got. A trenchcoat helps.

Kidding aside, the old adage "no pain, no gain" has some truth to it. Putting yourself out there and talking to new people can definitely feel painful at the start... but it's the best way to improve and get over your shyness. At least, it helped me.

Sometimes you can do silly things like making a goal to introduce yourself to 10 people at the mall one day (or ask any question to 10 different employees if you don't want to talk to random people). Or you can join a club/class that is outside your normal interests and ask the people there to help you learn a little bit about that hobby -- board games, recreational sports, reading club, astronomy, whatever. The hardest thing to do when talking to someone new is just to start talking... but once you do it's usually not hard to find some common ground.

Also, try to remember three things: (1) as long as you are a good person and comfortable with yourself, it doesn't really matter what other people think of you; (2) millions of other people have the exact same fear; and (3) the best way to improve is to practice, even if that means messing up some of the time.

You're not the only only one on this site that has it. I too have it. It used to be bad up in school 'till 8th grade then I grew out of most of it.

As for the shyness thing, I'm not that bad but one thing I can't do is look at people when I'm talking to them. I'm terrible at that. I don't talk much either, but I usually don't have anything good to say.

No.

I just don't have anything interesting to say.

@Terra..... I hear you man, I actually have a mild form of Narcolepsy. I dont fall over all the time, but at some times out of nowhere I have these crazy spells that have dropped me to my knees for a few minutes. Hasnt happened in a good long time. Stress triggers it big time and I try to live really stress free if at all possible lol. I do have multiple weeks where I go out of it and just feel like royal crap. I just came off of a 3 week episode last week. It makes me want to self seclude myself and I do block myself off somewhat to avoid confrontation with my wife as I get really irritated after weeks of feeling like I just ran a maraton constantly, BUT I do still say screw it as much as possible and keep on living life. Heck I just dropped by the good ole Waffle House and ate dinner and talked to two complete strangers for about 30min while I ate Why not, they were actually pretty cool.

..... Oh and you guys/gals..... NEVER be ashamed of being a Gamer or Treckie or Star Wars fanatic, etc. Just dont do it.

In my teenage years i was pretty shy at times, but I loved to make people laugh, you could say I was a bit of goofball. But my shyness was due to being very self concious and being very insicure. When I got older most of that changed. Even to this day, i have times where i'm drenched in anxiety, then other times where I'm very confidrent. With me it's simple, if I look good, I'm confident..But it depends.

With me I force myself sometimes into situations that I'd find uncomfortable....Yet I have a giant problem presenting something in front of a class. or just walking in a place where it's very quite and all eyes are on you.

And sometimes I think too much before I speak, or I always feel like sometimes i said something the wrong way, or looked like an idiot or just weird while saying it. Sometimes I get my words jumbled up, but maybe that's because i talk too fast sometimes. I always beat myself up over stuff like that. I'm an artist, a perfectionist and very self obssorbed and rocking some OCD