Topic: Depression

Sorry for such a downer thread when every other topic on this forum seems to be positive. But I feel like I need to vent, maybe someone on here will understand what I'm going through.

I just wondered if anyone else has gone through a bout of depression in their lives and how they coped with it. I've been depressed for over four months now after the break up of a nearly five year relationship of which my partner was living with me at the time. It really hit me hard, as we always talked about moving out and marrying one day, there was no sign of it ending, then one day she just decided to end it and said she didn't love me anymore.

I've been getting help both through anti-depressants and talking to a specialist team who deal with depression at my local hospital, but nothing seems to be helping. I've fell out with the majority of my mates, due to my former best friend, flirting with my ex after we broke up and even suggested they sleep together several times. After falling out with him, he managed to somehow turn the rest of that group of mates against me. Now the only mates I have left are always busy with work or university so our schedules always clash so we can never hang out at all.

What's worse is that my ex, who I still can't get over and am very much in love with, was diagnosed with a serious genetic condition a few years ago and actually had to have open heart surgery the other week. She survived and is doing well, all I feel like doing is going to see her. Now she's cut me off completely, even worse her current boyfriend has proposed to her and she said yes. She's got over me in four months like I was nothing to her.

I've never really got on with my family so I don't feel happy at home either, I've also recently been promoted at work to a supervisor, which is putting an enormous amount of pressure for me due to how I feel mentally.

I've tried to commit suicide three times, failing completely the first two times but came close during the third. I just feel completely helpless, I've been told by friends and doctors that things will feel better overtime, but things just keep getting worse and not improving. My whole life has been turned upside down, I really can't take much anymore.

Sorry once again for the negative thread, but I feel like I can't talk to anyone I know in person and just wondered if anyone has any advice or experiences dealing with depression.

I don't think this is the place to share this kind of thing.

Even then, we already have a tread for the negatives of your day.

I guess I never get depressed because, for me, as long as I'm alive, I can be happy. I find happiness in simply existing. Although depression is an illness, and it's not a simple thing to cure, I would think that your state of mind has a lot to do with healing depression.

Oh, and also what @Morpheel said.

you need a doctor... but kind words will help too! just take @Gioku's words to the heart, I couldn't say it better even if I tried:

I am seeing doctors though.

And I can't really agree with that sentiment.

You know guys, telling someone with depression that being alive and receiving nice words are reasons to be happy and that visiting a doctor will help them is not really something that will help. It will probably just make things worse.

So I really think this is not the place for this.

Yeah maybe you're right.

It's just hard when I have to keep this all to myself and can't really talk to anyone I know.

I don't want this thread to be locked, because I don't want some stupid rules and regulations get in the way of helping you.

I'm going to think to try and find a way. I promise; I will do everything in my power to help you.

I guess all we can really do is be sympathetic for you... we can't really do much else. But it is good to talk about things like this, whatever the way you choose to do that is.

well think like this: nothing is in vain, someday the reason for the things that are happening will appear. or rather, every hardship is nothing but a plain challenge, overcome it and you may find peace of mind. that's what I keep telling myself when I'm on the verge of depression I'm not sure if it works for everyone but it helps me a lot. also real life friends(good ones not those "if it's not fun I'm out" friends) can help a lot! a friend of mine saved me from my own weakness!(I'm shy so I was just keeping quiet about that dumb dude bullying me, then she went and told what was happening to the directors at college!)

@MoogleMuffins To be frank with you, I've had hard depression before, which is why I can entirely relate. Unfortunately, all that is you are facing is worse then everything I have ever faced; the gap of adulthood is great between us, which is why I feel so powerless to help you...

You could try to get drunk almost every day for approximately 6 months. It helped me... i think.

And I repeat, nothing we tell you here will be able to help you in any way, so for your own sanity I'd recommend to seek help outside of a gaming forum.

"And remember: bad times are just times that are bad"

• Katrina, Animal Crossing: New Leaf

As someone who battled chronic depression for years, it's unfortunate how mental health is regarded by the public. To people who do not suffer from mental health issues, it seems like a motivational catch phrase is all you need to "get over it." You wouldn't tell someone with cancer or AIDS to "get over it," and it makes just as little sense for any afflictions of the mind.

I can understand how incredibly hard it is to do anything about depression. It makes you so apathetic to the point of being crippling. You know you need to reach out and get better, but you really just can't bring yourself to do it. It's not some imaginary or made up block either. It's a legitimate chemical imbalance in the brain that often needs medication to treat.

It's also very dependent on external stimuli. You sound like you're going through a horrible time in your life, and I hate to tell you, but probably nothing except time will make you feel any better about your situation. It's a shame you don't get on with your family, because my mother was a major crutch for me when I was sick (and yes, it is a sickness). You may not start to heal until the pain of your ex has lessened. That's probably why you feel like the anti-depressants and specialists aren't helping, because you still have that external stimuli working against you. I won't say that you should try and meet someone else, or not try to meet someone else, because everyone copes with loss differently. The only universal thing is time. Time really does make the pain go away, it's just a matter of sticking it out until then.

Overcoming depression, for me, was a lot about finding myself. I questioned basically every moral and value I was raised with and rebuilt everything I thought about myself and the world around me, religiously, politically, philosophically, ethically, everything. I suggest doing a lot of reading and reflecting. It helps to put things in perspective. The world is much bigger than yourself and it goes a long way to try and understand more about it. I don't care if you're 10 or 100, educated or not, brilliant or slow, everybody still has things left to learn about the world and how it works.

And keep going to the specialist, especially since you're having suicidal thoughts and actively trying to harm yourself. I know it's difficult to find the motivation to do it, but you really have to force yourself. And it may sound silly, but don't forget to eat regular meals, shower (or bath) every day, maintain a regular sleep schedule, and try to leave the house at least once a day. The last thing you want to do is let yourself get into that spiral of self-loathing where you don't feel like taking care of yourself.

You've done a very powerful thing in reaching out. Keep doing that, and I promise that you won't always feel this way.

Yeah you're right.

Dunno why I bothered to be honest, just felt maybe someone had experiences of how they dealt with it. Guess it's just another dead end. Mods can close this forum whenever.

never give up on hope!

give up on your sanity, your friends, your love and even you family(ok don't go THAT far, please) but never give up on hope!!!!
that's all I have left to say

I still think about killing myself everyday. I feel like I'm just a lonely guy who wouldn't matter to people if I just die right now.

that really doesnt seem helpful

I don't really know how I can help, if I can at all. But let me just say this: Suicide is never the answer. You may not feel like it now, but there are always people who care about you. Even I would be mortified if you did. So just don't. Stay hopeful.
And try to cheer up. Think of ducks, they're funny.