Topic: Chuck Norris JOKES!

I can't think of a single person who doesn't know and love Chuck Norris. Especially when there's tons of hilarious jokes about him! I'll start you guys off with a few:

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
Chuck Norris doesn't love Raymond.
Some people sleep with a gun under their pillow, chuck norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

Now you guys say a few that I haven't said:

Chuck Norris CAN divide by zero.

Fix'd

Chuck Norris doesn't hate Chris.

This is also a pointless topic, anyone can simply google Chuck Norris jokes and easily find tons of them.

I thought of new ones:

There is no Ctrl button on Chuck Norris' keyboard, Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays chuck norris 99 cents every time HE listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. Oh, I love that last one...

Chuck Norris appears on Google Earth, but only on Halloween.

Yeah, Demonbaby did that right after you posted this. I have read those ones online before.

When god said "let there be light!" Chuck Norris said "say please"
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can swim through land
The bogyman checks his closest every night for Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris collects taxes from the irs
Chuck Norris has been dead for 10 years death has just been to afraid to tell him
There is no theory of evolution just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live

Well i have more but i dont feel like typing them

D: i thought only twilight could do that

F-- Norris

I don't like Chuck Norris. I think he's silly.

What 12 and 13 said.

I agree with these two genius Trekies.

Live long and prosper my friend.

If Chuck Norris is so great....then why was he killed by Bruce Lee in Way of the Dragon???

Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

He didn't want to embarrass him in front of the camera. It was Way of the Dragon, not Punk'd.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
Chuck Norris and cockroaches can survive a nuke, but cockroaches can't survive Chuck Norris