The player character has Fi explaining every single nuance of the game.
"Master, I advise you to equip your shield in preparation for this battle. And you should also stock up on healing potions and magic potions. Also, I predict with 95% accuracy that you will fail this next battle even though you did exactly as I said. Another thing, Master, the sky above you is blue. One last thing, pressing the Select button will allow you to skip through any conversation, except when talking to me."
A racing level around the castle's courtyard. It would have a horrendous framerate, which would make turning smoothly nearly impossible, and otherwise this 3D- stage would control like the car in some old NES game (like Roger Rabbit). Your co-driver would be your annoying sidekick, who would constantly advise you to turn left or right (sometimes incorrectly). The track would also be very, very hard, and only one crash would mean losing the race.
The player character has Fi explaining every single nuance of the game.
"Master, I advise you to equip your shield in preparation for this battle. And you should also stock up on healing potions and magic potions. Also, I predict with 95% accuracy that you will fail this next battle even though you did exactly as I said. Another thing, Master, the sky above you is blue. One last thing, pressing the Select button will allow you to skip through any conversation, except when talking to me."
Your companion should say this every time you -try to open- get near a locked door: "Master, from the lock on this door, I predict with 80% accuracy that this door is locked. I strongly suggest to start searching for a key. I predict with 90% accuracy that said key will be somewhere around this dungeon. This compass has a new feature- A tone will tell you if a key is hidden in room when you enter, said tone has a 95% probability of being correct, I strongly suggest to search for said hidden key, which I can say with a 80% accuracy is the one you need for this door, in that room so you can come back and open this door. This room has a 75% probability of being filled with monsters, your hearts are running low, I strongly recommend to start the search for hearts inmediatly. Did Master remember to buy enough potions and supplies? There's a 95% probability that the shops in town hold the items Master needs to succed on this room. I strongly recommend to go back to town and buy them before searching for the key to open this do- HEY LISTEN!"
The text speed for this character must be slow.
Note: This comment is based on my experience with Fi playing Skyward Sword in Spanish.
The player character has Fi explaining every single nuance of the game.
"Master, I advise you to equip your shield in preparation for this battle. And you should also stock up on healing potions and magic potions. Also, I predict with 95% accuracy that you will fail this next battle even though you did exactly as I said. Another thing, Master, the sky above you is blue. One last thing, pressing the Select button will allow you to skip through any conversation, except when talking to me."
Your companion should say this every time you -try to open- get near a locked door: "Master, from the lock on this door, I predict with 80% accuracy that this door is locked. I strongly suggest to start searching for a key. I predict with 90% accuracy that said key will be somewhere around this dungeon. This compass has a new feature- A tone will tell you if a key is hidden in room when you enter, said tone has a 95% probability of being correct, I strongly suggest to search for said hidden key, which I can say with a 80% accuracy is the one you need for this door, in that room so you can come back and open this door. This room has a 75% probability of being filled with monsters, your hearts are running low, I strongly recommend to start the search for hearts inmediatly. Did Master remember to buy enough potions and supplies? There's a 95% probability that the shops in town hold the items Master needs to succed on this room. I strongly recommend to go back to town and buy them before searching for the key to open this do- HEY LISTEN!"
The text speed for this character must be slow.
Note: This comment is based on my experience with Fi playing Skyward Sword in Spanish.
I hope that they ditch the sidekick completely for the next Zelda. SS was a great game otherwise, but Fi was just too goddamn much. On the second playthrough i felt almost insulted because of her constant interruptions and useless advice.
Maybe they should have an option to turn annoying hand-holding fairies off and let you 'figure out' obvious things using your own brain in the next game? :3
The player character has Fi explaining every single nuance of the game.
"Master, I advise you to equip your shield in preparation for this battle. And you should also stock up on healing potions and magic potions. Also, I predict with 95% accuracy that you will fail this next battle even though you did exactly as I said. Another thing, Master, the sky above you is blue. One last thing, pressing the Select button will allow you to skip through any conversation, except when talking to me."
Your companion should say this every time you -try to open- get near a locked door: "Master, from the lock on this door, I predict with 80% accuracy that this door is locked. I strongly suggest to start searching for a key. I predict with 90% accuracy that said key will be somewhere around this dungeon. This compass has a new feature- A tone will tell you if a key is hidden in room when you enter, said tone has a 95% probability of being correct, I strongly suggest to search for said hidden key, which I can say with a 80% accuracy is the one you need for this door, in that room so you can come back and open this door. This room has a 75% probability of being filled with monsters, your hearts are running low, I strongly recommend to start the search for hearts inmediatly. Did Master remember to buy enough potions and supplies? There's a 95% probability that the shops in town hold the items Master needs to succed on this room. I strongly recommend to go back to town and buy them before searching for the key to open this do- HEY LISTEN!"
The text speed for this character must be slow.
Note: This comment is based on my experience with Fi playing Skyward Sword in Spanish.
I hope that they ditch the sidekick completely for the next Zelda. SS was a great game otherwise, but Fi was just too goddamn much. On the second playthrough i felt almost insulted because of her constant interruptions and useless advice.
They don't need to turn them off. Midna was the best character in Twilight princess. They just need to, you know, make them important to the plot and not the most annoying character they could possibly come up with.
The player character has Fi explaining every single nuance of the game.
"Master, I advise you to equip your shield in preparation for this battle. And you should also stock up on healing potions and magic potions. Also, I predict with 95% accuracy that you will fail this next battle even though you did exactly as I said. Another thing, Master, the sky above you is blue. One last thing, pressing the Select button will allow you to skip through any conversation, except when talking to me."
Your companion should say this every time you -try to open- get near a locked door: "Master, from the lock on this door, I predict with 80% accuracy that this door is locked. I strongly suggest to start searching for a key. I predict with 90% accuracy that said key will be somewhere around this dungeon. This compass has a new feature- A tone will tell you if a key is hidden in room when you enter, said tone has a 95% probability of being correct, I strongly suggest to search for said hidden key, which I can say with a 80% accuracy is the one you need for this door, in that room so you can come back and open this door. This room has a 75% probability of being filled with monsters, your hearts are running low, I strongly recommend to start the search for hearts inmediatly. Did Master remember to buy enough potions and supplies? There's a 95% probability that the shops in town hold the items Master needs to succed on this room. I strongly recommend to go back to town and buy them before searching for the key to open this do- HEY LISTEN!"
The text speed for this character must be slow.
Note: This comment is based on my experience with Fi playing Skyward Sword in Spanish.
I hope that they ditch the sidekick completely for the next Zelda. SS was a great game otherwise, but Fi was just too goddamn much. On the second playthrough i felt almost insulted because of her constant interruptions and useless advice.
They don't need to turn them off. Midna was the best character in Twilight princess. They just need to, you know, make them important to the plot and not the most annoying character they could possibly come up with.
I liked Midna and i liked Fi as personalities, and as part of the plot. The thing that annoys me is that they're giving advice (especially Fi) too much on their own, and by doing so they're interrupting the gameplay. They're advice should be optional all the time, available only when you ask them.
Back to Castle of Annoyance: In one stage there would be an enemy called... The Eraser. If you'd get hit by the Eraser, it would result in deleting your save file. The same level would also contain enemies which would be able to blind you, so that the Erasers could do their job more effectively. There would also be easier enemies in this stage, which would act like the Wallmasters from Zelda, sending you in the beginning of the stage. One particular enemy would have the power to send you in the beginning of the whole game. Combined with the Erasers, these guys would give you a lot of good time.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, and the game would randomly change controls all the time. Press A, it's attack. Press it again once second later, you get self-destruct. Press up on the d-pad, you have a 96.95% of falling through the floor and crashing back to the beginning of the stage. Press up again, you magically block.
The player character has Fi explaining every single nuance of the game.
"Master, I advise you to equip your shield in preparation for this battle. And you should also stock up on healing potions and magic potions. Also, I predict with 95% accuracy that you will fail this next battle even though you did exactly as I said. Another thing, Master, the sky above you is blue. One last thing, pressing the Select button will allow you to skip through any conversation, except when talking to me."
Your companion should say this every time you -try to open- get near a locked door: "Master, from the lock on this door, I predict with 80% accuracy that this door is locked. I strongly suggest to start searching for a key. I predict with 90% accuracy that said key will be somewhere around this dungeon. This compass has a new feature- A tone will tell you if a key is hidden in room when you enter, said tone has a 95% probability of being correct, I strongly suggest to search for said hidden key, which I can say with a 80% accuracy is the one you need for this door, in that room so you can come back and open this door. This room has a 75% probability of being filled with monsters, your hearts are running low, I strongly recommend to start the search for hearts inmediatly. Did Master remember to buy enough potions and supplies? There's a 95% probability that the shops in town hold the items Master needs to succed on this room. I strongly recommend to go back to town and buy them before searching for the key to open this do- HEY LISTEN!"
The text speed for this character must be slow.
Note: This comment is based on my experience with Fi playing Skyward Sword in Spanish.
I hope that they ditch the sidekick completely for the next Zelda. SS was a great game otherwise, but Fi was just too goddamn much. On the second playthrough i felt almost insulted because of her constant interruptions and useless advice.
They don't need to turn them off. Midna was the best character in Twilight princess. They just need to, you know, make them important to the plot and not the most annoying character they could possibly come up with.
I liked Midna and i liked Fi as personalities, and as part of the plot. The thing that annoys me is that they're giving advice (especially Fi) too much on their own, and by doing so they're interrupting the gameplay. They're advice should be optional all the time, only when you ask them.
Oi! We've already got an annoying sidekick! Navichow!
Except Midna at least said things with a personality and didn't just blatantly say "Do this and you'll win" with zero character.
And again, I think we keep moving away from things that are actually well known annoying things in games, to things that would just be impossible and have never been in anything
On one floor you should have the game be interrupted by random crap and it should make you read it right when you have about perfected the level floor. Music :NYAN CAT. Also you could make the game "randomly" lag, freeze, crash. Also for a Fire Embem-ish stage you could make it so that there are 94385625450 HARD FIGHTERS and one "weak" fighter after you kill the rest. He does 0 damage but the is an assassin and has a 100% chance kill attack who will always go second and has to much HP. AND YOU CAN'T LET ONE GUY DIE.
Just Someloggery
You have the right to disagree with me and the ability to consider anything valid that I say; Please exercise both.
On one floor you should have the game be interrupted by random crap and it should make you read it right when you have about perfected the level floor. Music :NYAN CAT. Also you could make the game "randomly" lag, freeze, crash. Also for a Fire Embem-ish stage you could make it so that there are 94385625450 HARD FIGHTERS and one "weak" fighter after you kill the rest. He does 0 damage but the is an assassin and has a 100% chance kill attack who will always go second and has to much HP. AND YOU CAN'T LET ONE GUY DIE.
I honestly did not understand any of that. Come again?
If you add me, I need to at least know you or I won't add you back.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, and the game would randomly change controls all the time. Press A, it's attack. Press it again once second later, you get self-destruct. Press up on the d-pad, you have a 96.95% of falling through the floor and crashing back to the beginning of the stage. Press up again, you magically block.
The controls in general should be very unresponsive. Also, the camera controls would have to be extremely problematic in most levels, spinning to surprising angles when least expected, like in the middle of a jump. Sometimes the camera would stuck behind the wall permanently.
you could make it so that there are 94385625450 HARD FIGHTERS and one "weak" fighter after you kill the rest. He does 0 damage but the is an assassin and has a 100% chance kill attack who will always go second and has to much HP. AND YOU CAN'T LET ONE GUY DIE.
You see, everything was making some sense up until this. I honestly just... don't know what you're talking about.
Just for you. "I'm just a musical prostitute, my dear." - Freddie Mercury
One level would consist puzzle solving. There would be grand amounts of pushing block from point A to B. While pushing, your character would move very, very slowly, so it would take 5-10 minutes to push even one of these numerous blocks to it's place. If you'd push it too far, or next to a wall, the puzzle would be impossible to complete, in which case you would have to restart the whole puzzle. One of the other puzzles would have a logical fallacy in it's solution.
And about the Zelda helpers Fi gave me an 95% overdose of persents, so there is a 99.99999999999% chance I want Midna to return and a 0.0005234% chance she will return. There is a 90.1% chance I want Fi but see needs emotions.
Just Someloggery
You have the right to disagree with me and the ability to consider anything valid that I say; Please exercise both.
Make an elaborate and difficult dungeon with an unfairly quick respawn rate and a locked door in the room that you start in. Once the player reaches the last area of the dungeon have there be a sign telling them that the key they've been looking for was actually hidden in the first room.
“The revolution is not an apple that falls when it is ripe. You have to make it fall.” - "Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them."
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Topic: Castle of Annoyance
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