The Worst Nintendo TV Commercials Ever
The following videos fall into two main categories: the first set, which are so toe-curlingly dated that they're tough to enjoy even with our irony dials turned up to eleven; and the second batch, which are simply disappointing products of their time. Nintendo signed off on them back then, but you'd hope that stern words would be had with anyone proposing them in ad meetings these days.
So, let's dredge the lake for the worst Nintendo TV commercials...
Help Donkey Kong Jr. Save Papa
Mario as a banana-brandishing hoodlum? Donkey Kong Jr. calling DK 'papa' and looking like Helena Bonham Carter from Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes reboot? Donkey Kong himself playing Donkey Kong Jr. in his cage?
It's all here, and it's all bad.
"We are Nintendo. You cannot beat us."
This Australian ad features a bunch of horrific early CG, botched versions of characters from NES games telling you that it's impossible to beat them while doing their very best impression of the Borg from Star Trek.
It turned out that resistance was futile for game-addicted Nintendo fans, but we can only imagine the psychological damage inflicted on the youth of Australia by this ad.
"It's The Legend of Zelda and it's really rad..."
Some people will say this was the greatest Nintendo ad ever. That's okay — no problem! They're just wrong.
We're really not sure what they were going for here. Let's, for a moment, assume that this hip, poppin', fresh rap actually had a residue of cool in the early '90s (Eminem was a long way off, and we're not sure Vanilla Ice was ever hip), any cool evaporates immediately thanks not only to the kids themselves, but also the announcement that "Your parents help you hook it up!" Gee, mom can get involved too?! AWESOME!!!
There seemed to be an obsession with adding rap and, on occasion, marionettes to Zelda commercials. The puppets had charm, but this... didn't.
"Clean is better than dirty"
You watch this waiting for the punchline... but there isn't one. It's just what it is; a twee little ditty about cleaning up. It's got some gameplay footage, but beyond that we don't know what they were thinking.
Recently, video producer vini64 has made some very helpful compilations of worldwide commercials for specific Mario games, and there are some real beauties to enjoy from across the plumber's career.
Wii U "Family Time"
To be fair, the ad people didn't have as much to work with around the Wii U era, but the approach they adopted of kids 'pitching' the console to their parents was particularly insipid. If too-cool-for-school Steve Harris from Stranger Things can't save your console (skip to 2:36 in the video above), you know you're in trouble.
We'd like to write something more about this terrible selection of Wii U commercials, but they've caused our eyebrows to clamp to our chin.
"When is 'too much' too much?"
This rancid Yoshi's Island ad is a homage/rip-off of the Mr Creosote scene from Monty Python's The Meaning of Life. A 'little bonus level' serves as the 'waffer-thin' mint in this version causing the gluttonous gamer to explode.
This was part of the 'Play It Loud' era, and this brand of gross-out humour was in vogue at the time, but they rarely jived with the wholesome games being promoted. Still, maybe it's better to be bad than bland.
Rodent Loves Game Boy Micro
If nothing else, this one is memorable, but the number of viewers who'll want to see a rodent humping a Game Boy Micro is low. No zero, but low.
We've seen the good, we've laughed at the bad, and now it's time to endure the questionable.
The following commercials simply wouldn't be made these days on the grounds that they're riddled with stereotypes. Two decades into the twenty-first century, they're now embarrassing artefacts. Perhaps the world has got a little better over the past few decades?
"Will thou get the girl, or play like one?"
Playing on the schoolboy attitudes of the time, this one raised some eyebrows at the time, and the line didn't feature in some trailers and print ads internationally. Still, for a company that's made strides over the decades to make gaming as inclusive as possible, this was an odd misstep.
The ads for the 3DS remake were much more wholesome.
Player's Choice Blackmail
This ad for the Player's Choice line of first-party N64 games features a young kid potentially blackmailing his father (and grandfather) to keep their cross-dressing antics under wraps in exchange for cash to spend on sweet N64 titles. It probably felt like childish and harmless fun at the time, but it's not something any respectable company would sign off on today.
Witchdoctor Mario
Another one diving headfirst into a swamp of stereotypes. Even if you're okay with the shrunken heads in this Dr. Mario ad, the song will crawl into your ear and turn your brain to mush. We recommend NOT watching it. Don't click that play button above.
and finally... WTF??
Let's finish with something less unsavoury, shall we?
This long commercial for Grill-Off With Ultra Hand!, a WiiWare Club Nintendo exclusive, was really just an ad for Club Nintendo. However, it's one of the weirdest things Nintendo has ever put its name to. Words can't do proper justice to its two minutes fifty-two seconds of pure WTF — just fetch yourself a beverage, sit back and 'enjoy' it.
Have we missed any of your personal favourites? Let us know below and we might even add them to the selection above.
Comments 85
I was going to be mad if the smash commercial didn't make it, it's what made me want the game so bad dammit!
That Atari ad is a classic!
Glad to see that Yoshi's Island commercial. It was truly the worst of an entire era of tasteless marketing.
Though since you brought up the Dr. Mario commercial, why not the Kirby's Dream Land commercial (that at least ran in the US). Yep, the VERY FIRST image we got of Kirby was him eating a "muscle-bound superhero" and then spitting out his bleeding disembodied head. That was a year before they famously forbid Mortal Kombat on the SNES from doing the same thing.
Hot buttered Popcorn that's a deal!
Where's the JP Mario vs. Donkey Kong commercial
The one where Mario's face pops out of a Japanese woman's cleavage. Classic.
Where are the Redknapps? Harry Redknapp playing Wii is all I live for!
I'm trying real hard to not laugh at the Majora's Mask ad where the world is ending and the camera zooms up to a guy on his phone in the park and all he's gotta say is "I'm using all my minutes!"
...Is that Phil Jupitus in the Rik Mayall ads?
Best SNES commercial: "A bit more ____" for Super Mario World: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWyMk-2aH9E
"Now you're playing with power... SUPER power."
Half-naked people in the Sunshine commercial.
That certainly fits the description I've heard of "UK commercials that probably wouldn't have flown in the US."
Though I haven't watched TV in some years, so I don't even know what broadcast standards are now.
My favorite one ever is Robin Williams mixing his daughter and Zelda up. It’s 10x sadder now that he’s passed.
Not a Nintendo commercial, so it wouldn't fit.
But certainly this commercial where a nerdy kid buys a Genesis with Streets of Rage 2 bundled, then the next days tries out of some of the moves on the schoolyard bullies, is something the game industry would these days try very hard to distance themselves from.
W E A R E N I N T E N D O L I F E.
Y O U C A N N O T B E A T U S.
Smash 64 (in the US not sure if it was different anywhere else) is still the best commercial ever made...period.
Although the Japanese Zelda commercials are fantastic because they were geared towards all ages and had girls in leading roles (a difference from the marketing in the US that usually pretended that only teenage boys played video games). Honestly, I don't think I would have become a gamer had it not been for my mom because I remember feeling like the commercials were all only about boys. The US Majora's Mask commercial was weird/interesting cuz it made you think the zombie apocalypse was coming or something...that being said the JPN ones were more to the point and scary.
This Mario Sunshine advert is the most memorable one for me...
"Clean is better than dirty and dirty's meaner than clean!"
https://youtu.be/0PjVzzK2PrM
Iconic!
Personal favorite is this nonsensical commercial for Fire Emblem 7 that's only like... tangentially related to the game.
https://youtu.be/LM-s5C0dnZs
I actually enjoyed that. Some good memories and some silliness
Glaring omissions: Mario land 2, and gc animal crossing ads
Wii would like to Play has to be my favorite out of the many gems here 😂
Mario! Mario! Mario!
Has to be one of the best video game commercials ever imo.
The Ocarina of Time "Wilst thou play like a girl" was so cringe worthy. I've got a postcard of that ad buried in my loft somewhere.
For such a huge landmark game and such an important release to have it tied to such a "missing the mark" advert was a real shame. Compare to Sony's (amazing) adverts of the 90's in the UK and you can start to understand just why Nintendo and Sega got completely annihilated from the market.
All of the adverts with ‘The People’s Poet’ are the best
I've never seen the "will you save the girl? Or will you play like one?" version of the OOT ad. I could have sworn it was always "Whilst though succeed? Or whilst though suck?" or something along those lines
Ya know what? At the time, I was pretty mad at those Wii U commercials because I felt like I needed to defend my Nintendo choice against the other consoles, but dang it, I like 'em now. They're funny. They were not funny at the time, though.
The power of some advertising, I very clearly remember seeing that Mario 3 commercial as a kid. I'm sure I saw some of the others too, but none really stuck with me as much as that one.
@Slowdive that is why people are worried about the supposed live action Zelda show for Netflix.
As a child of the 80s my favorites are from that era. I didn't see the Zelda commercial with the weirdo dressed in all black.
Commercials are rarely timeless since they are of their time in most cases. If you don't like the 80s you won't like 80s commercials, etc. Especially if you weren't alive then.
Why do so many Nintendo Life articles make me feel like such an old man?
The commercials for Kirby and Mario 3 came to me at about the age where I started to develop the parts of my brain that made me marketable to a capitalist society and started thinking to myself "Pacman and Frogger have suddenly become boring now, and I want to play whatever that is"
Am I right in believing that the kid with glasses in the advert titled "It's The Legend of Zelda and it's really rad..." is Brian Provinciano, developer of 'Retro City Rampage' and 'Shakedown: Hawaii'?
The "save the girl" OoT one is actually an ok add without that last sentence. The music is fine and syncs up well with the gameplay being displayed and the text and the voice over aren't bad either.
I REMEMBER THE GAMECUBE ADDS
That Australian NES commercial is nightmare fuel, how could this have ever aired on TV??
Nintendo's always had some...peculiar commercials from what I've seen, though I'd admit that the Smash 64 commercial is one of my favorites. I wish they did something like that again.
Looking at the "Worst Commercials" list, though, I'd say that I enjoyed them for quite a bit despite not being good. Then again, any Nintendo commercial is still better than Bowser's Inside Story's (DS) commercial. Holy crud, that commercial was just bad
This is still my favorite Nintendo commercial ever:
https://youtu.be/M0LfLk9lLEg
I knew the Ocarina of Time ad would be on here. Also, you are all uncultured. The Zelda Rap is one of the best things of all time.
This is my favorite Nintendo ad (after Happy Together of course) just for the narration. It gets the story wrong and spoils the final boss, so it's actually kind of a bad commercial all things considered, but I still love it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9EfFlf7qU8
Smash bros 65 is the best one.
No Luigi's Mansion ad? That one is by far one the weirdest ads I've ever seen. Although to be honest it's not horrible, just seems out of place.
You guys missed the Yoshi Story commercial. I thought it was kinda bad too:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8Y7DrAElTA
For me there's a top three.
The Mario 3 commercial with the multitudes calling his name. I remember that game from my childhood.
The Smash commercial where they're all beating each other up. That's the commercial I remember from my teenage years.
The "Wii would like to play" commercial. That's the commercial from my adulthood.
That Link to the Past ad looks like it was actually foreshadowing Cadence of Hyrule!
Seriously though, why don’t we get more dancing in advertisements?
What the **** is this garbage PC bullcrap claiming the "Will thou get the girl, or play like one?" is one of the worst Nintendo ads. That is easily one of the best Nintendo ads ever. Only someone trying real hard to virtue signal in 2020 would even try to claim otherwise.
My favorite ad is definitely the Zelda Rap. Thank you Jon Tron
And you missed this ad, which was extremely cool in its day:
I don’t expect NL to cover all the good/bad commercials from Nintendo over the years, however, this article should be followed with a part 2.
It's not Nintendo, but I still fell obligated to add what I feel is the best video game ad of all time
https://youtu.be/WnGIkHQX6WY
I uploaded this awful Super Gameboy ad the other day. Found it on an old VHS tape in my folks' garage.
https://youtu.be/0xQ_Q9l1ZPw
It's bad, man. 1995, I believe
@Spustatu considering how much I still love my piece of garbage known as the wii u I still can't watch a commercial that terrible. People think that marketing into the 80s and 90s was tasteless it might not have given info on the game but it had personality. The wii u commercials are some of the worst I've ever seen like they were catered towards not children but stupid children lol.
@impurekind oh its not that its offensive no one cares about that it just comes off as cheesy and tacky. I also remember the lyrics being whilst thou win or whilst thou suck or something that was a funny for kid me but get the girl? Really? Cheeeeeesy
obey wario
destroy mario
@Ghostchip I dunno... A lot has changed in my life since then. I've had cancer. I went from 29 and single to 35 and married. Maybe I'm old and lame now... This is depressing.
@Spustatu hey look on the bright side of things there is always a light in the tunnel and I'm sure you will put everything behind you and live in the moment maybe do something sporadic!
Sometimes I have legitimate PTSD flashbacks of the Yoshi's Island commercial. I am not joking.
Edit: I exaggerated a little. Do not worry, I don't get genuine emotional trauma over a 90s gross-out commercial, I more just... think about it at random times, pause in place and squick.
@impurekind Imagine defending the use of misogyny to sell products to children in 2020
I don't know. That Dr. Mario commercial was bonkers and funny. Just shows how people became way too sensitive.
Always loved the mario! mario! mario! That's when you knew Nintendo was taking over the world! By that point every kid knew who mario was. I still remember the one from when snes arrived on the scene. That year 12 year old me was hyped!
https://youtu.be/mt9E5UHr_Oc
The Rik Mayall ads are unironically some of the best ads I've ever seen for anything.
@Noid Imagine being so humorless.
Remember this one?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVCuUkf-SO0
I always find most gaming commercials generally bad and as time has went on with the videos being available online they tend to be the best way of selling games to people who are actually interested. If anything TV commercials tend to be aimed at people who have no clue what games are what or to sell the idea of something. If commercials for games on tv were more like movie trailers they would probably better as a whole.
Bloody Rik Mayall?! NOW you're playing with power! BOTTOM POWER!
The Mario 3 one is actually really impressive. Must've cost a million bucks back then.
Let me tell you that these old ads were not wrong about how doom-sy (yea, not a word) the future will be. They only failed on the low lightning artistic expression.
@Ghostchip This I agree with: The line is cheesy. But it's certainly not a bad ad. In fact, it's a great ad. And, the article writer trying to get all PC and virtue signal was just gross imo.
@Noid God, this kind of statement is sooo desperate and virtue-signally that it's just cringe imo.
More boys where playing games back then, this game was clearly made to appeal to young boys first and foremost, and it was marketed at mostly young boys too. Making a tongue-in cheek line in the ad that boys are better than girls at gaming, especially back in '90s when it mostly was boys that were gaming, was nothing more than a bit of a playful joke with the core demographic of people buying and playing the game. It goes no deeper than that. Hating women and thinking men are superior to women in general is misogynist*; this ad is not. They are not the same thing at all. To even suggest there was misogyny going on there is actually quite insidious and disgusting, and completely and utterly ignorant of what misogyny even is. Maybe you need to go read about such things a bit more before opening your mouth regarding them.
*https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/misogyny
@impurekind you know I really see what you mean not a bad ad after all
Smash 64 and the bus driver with Pokémon are really the only Nintendo advertisements I remember.
Oh and of course the weird GameCube ones.
God I miss Rik Mayall, what a legend
@Noid shut the hell up
@impurekind I like you
Beyonce is trash
Man I remember the Smash 64 commercial and it is still a classic and hilarious, still my favorite.
Imagine having your family's stability rely on the Wii U.
I'm glad you guys went ahead and DIDN'T feature that creepy Mario Land 2 commercial.
"and finally... WTF??"
(dislikes this part of the article)
The Mario amiibo one with the overecstatic kid and the sparkles seems to be forever burned into my mind and not in a good way.
Those Rik Mayall ads are just brill-eeee-aaaaaant!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQUN7QAnMp0
I can't believe Mother isn't on your list @dartmonkey
One of the few that I remember (and I've been around awhile) was the American Zelda Rap commercial, which you did include via the 'adding rap' link above. Kept waiting for Michael Jackson to pop up on the Japanese rap commercial.
Had never heard of Jedward before today. If I don't have anything nice to say ...
my favorite nintendo commercial is The Wizard.
I am deeply offended that those 5 teenage punks got to see the interior of the pirate frigate Orpheon decades before Samus did. Apparently it takes five of them to "play with power" when only one of Samus suffices.
@Lindhardt Guess that explains all the stability updates.
lets be real, nothing will ever top people finding out about Mario Bros 3 for the first time by seeing The Wizard in theatres
https://youtu.be/C3c_JDDp99k
Wait, how could y'all leave out the Kirby Canvas Curse commercials?
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